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What I would've tweeted during Lakers-Thunder game

November 1, 2011 |  1:50 pm

Derek Fisher

At about this time, I would've been writing preview posts for the Lakers' season opener tonight against the Oklahoma City Thunder. In a few hours, I would've been driving to Staples Center, listening to Lakers talk on the radio and envisioning the beginning of another fun-filled season. Then I would've lived it, watching the game behind the basket, hosting our live game chat, tweeting updates and then talking to players in the locker room afterward.

Instead, I have to endlessly hear about basketball-related income, revenue sharing and amnesty clauses. Worse, I have to wonder when the season will ever start. It's surely a depressing time for basketball fans, and it got me thinking what I would've tweeted had this Lakers-Thunder game actually taken place...

David Stern holds pregame presser on league's strength. "Missing games bc of lockout would've been bad business decision"

Lawrence Tanter announces Metta World Peace w/ straight face. Ron Ron flexes muscles in return.

Andrew Bynum siting out. For once, it's not a knee injury. Remember J.J. Barea clothesline?

John Kuester's start as Lakers' assistant already a success. Everyone showed up @ morning shootaround.

Only one minute in, & Russell Westbrook blows by Derek Fisher. Chat fills up w/ "Get rid of D-Fish" rants.

Fish hits three. Now everyone loves him again.

Kevin Durant hardly thinks Ron Ron is living up to his new name. Elbows Durant, while boxing out for rebound.

Kobe skeptical of World Peace. Takes shot while double-teamed instead of passing to open Metta.

Gasol backs Kendrick Perkins down in the post. Clearly, Gasol's letting out pent-up offseason frustrations. 

Mike Brown saying something important in timeout. Can't lip read, but it's obvious since he shows all his teeth. 

World Peace airballs a 3. No time to voluntarily bench himself like he promised. Barnes already in. 

Steve Blake & James Harden talking before Kobe shoots free throw. Likely sharing tips on maintaining beards. 

Blake runs break ready to throw lob. Then realizes Shannon Brown isn't teammate anymore. 

Kiss Cam zooms in on Kim Kardashian. Where's Kris Humphries when you need him?

Kobe hits game winner & Lakers win 101-99. Obviously he's not clutch.

Lamar Odom says afterward he's relieved season started on time. "Promoting handbags w/ Khloe would get old."

Derek Fisher says it was a no brainer to cut NBA lockout: "Players make less money, but we're still making millions." 

More Fisher: "Fans want to see Kobe hit a game winner like he did tonight, and not me talking about BRI #s."

--Mark Medina

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Photo credit: Wally Skalij / Los Angeles Times