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20 signs you're a Lakerholic during this offseason

Photo: There are plenty of Lakerholics living among us. Credit: Don Bartletti / Los Angeles Times The symptoms are only going to get worse during what's expected to be a prolonged offseason because of the impending lockout.

But with the Lakers only eight days removed from their season-ending sweep at the hands of the Dallas Mavericks in the Western Conference semifinals, the time has surely felt like an eternity for Lakers fans. There is no cure for treating the symptoms of being a Lakerholic and none of you want to know what is either.

This post is not meant to spark an intervention. Instead, below the jump is a guide to know whether you've truly jumped off the deep end yet.

In no particular order, you know you're a Lakerholic if . . .

1. You've been repeatedly pinching yourself hoping the Mavericks sweep over the Lakers was just a dream.

2. You've been having dreams where you replay that series. You either have the same nightmare or you wake up disappointed because in your dreams the Lakers easily beat the Mavericks.

3. You refuse to watch the NBA playoffs because the Lakers aren't it.

4. You watch the NBA playoffs with an eye on who would look good in a Lakers uniform.

5. You're suddenly wearing a Chicago Bulls jersey because you can't wait to see the Miami Heat lose in embarrassing fashion in the Eastern Conference finals. You also bought a Derrick Rose jersey hoping the Lakers will get him in a trade. Yeah for who? Luke Walton?

6. You constantly watch Shaquille O'Neal's introductory news conference, hoping that's a sign of the Lakers stealing another Magic center in Dwight Howard

7. You use the ESPN Trade Machine at least 100 times a day.

8. You repeatedly visit Staples Center and talk to the Chick Hearn, Jerry West and Magic Johnson statues as if they're real people.

9. You've constructed out of clay the molds for statues of Kobe Bryant and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, wondering if the real ones in the future match your prototype. 

10. You either endlessly replay Game 4 of the Lakers-Mavericks series to add to your pent-up frustration and passion for next season or choose to watch happier moments, such as Game 7 of the 2010 NBA Finals.

11. You rewatch telecasts with the sound off imagining Hearn's voice calling the game.

12. You endlessly argue with your neighbors about who is the greatest Laker of all time. Sometimes you change your opinion simply so you can argue.

13. You buy tickets to the Naismith Basketball Hall of Fame in advance every year, presuming at least one Laker will be inducted.

14. You repeatedly write Jerry Buss and Mitch Kupchak "Dear Santa" letters. You also fax or e-mail Kupchak various trade proposals at all hours of the night.

15. You've bought at least 1,000 Laker flags in your lifetime. 

16. You booked a trip to Spain this summer in case Pau Gasol plays for the Spanish national team. Seeing him play in person is the only solution to easing your anxiety over whether he'll bounce back from his playoff struggles and whether he'll avoid injury. 

17. You name your newborn after your favorite Laker and/or dress your pet like your favorite Laker. 

18. Frustrated with how the Lakers' season ended, you start a brand new Lakers season on NBA 2K11 to prove you can run the team better than they did.  

19. Even with a lockout looming, you've formulated your own Lakers schedule to anticipate what games they might play.

20. This one's a given. You visit The Times' Lakers blog every day and comment at least five times on every post. 

--Mark Medina

E-mail the Lakers blog at [email protected]

Photo: There are plenty of Lakerholics living among us. Credit: Don Bartletti / Los Angeles Times

 
Comments () | Archives (39)

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@MM … The sad thing about the way the season ended for Drew was that the lasting memory will likely be the flagrant foul on Beria and getting ejected rather than his great steal from Dirk and coast to coast drive and dunk. I think the latter image will be what the Lakers front office will remember.
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@GG … “Kobe can still carry the team at times, but if he trusted his teammates more he won't have to, he'll prolong his career and possibly win more titles, and they'll win more games.” That is my vote for a Friedman, GG. It defines the essence of the Lakers future and what it demands of Kobe Bryant.
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@RICK …. Outstanding post. Mitch said it best when he talked about players fitting the roster. What we saw from the Lakers during the vaunted 17-1 post all-star run or from the baby Bulls last night were perfect examples of the synergy that comes from the chemistry of a perfect fit. There are many reasons including money, touches, and ego that support the Lakers not trading Drew for Dwight.
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@JON K … Sorry to hear of your employment dilemma. Hopefully something will come up. It’s the nature of life for most of us to go through up and down cycles. What always keeps my spirits up is knowing that there are always better times to come when you won’t even remember the struggles. Best wishes and good luck finding something in which you can commit your great passion.
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TOM

ROFLMMFAO AT #5... AHAHAHAH

#babybulls LET'S GET IT

It's always fun when I hear that Kobe should pass the ball and get teammates involved. Uh, you mean pass to Fish or Ron, whoa that didn't work. Well then to Lamar or Pau (who gets pushed out of the post), nah. Okay he should pass to Blaker and Matty who couldn't hit a 3 when needed. I forgot, pas to Luke and Joe and Theo (who). Of course, the Rooks, well no. I'm sorry, to Brownie, yes to clank those bricks. Perhaps big Drew, at least when he's in uniform. Wouldn't it be nice to pass to someone that he could actually rely on! I just can't figure out to who or even whom?

I have it, trade for CP or DWill and let them pass to Kobe for some rare open looks. Wouldn't Kobe love that? Open looks, wow, what's that. You know Kobe, all those passes to Ron and Fish and Blake and others with open looks. The real exception is that you'll make the shots!

What does it mean if I got 10 out of 20? Am I am Lakerholic or not? I know I'm still in mourning...

Haha...#10

I have watched the last 8 minutes of Game 7 at least a dozen times since last week....a cleansing if you will. And it always puts a smile on my face.

Haha...#10

I have watched the last 8 minutes of Game 7 at least a dozen times since last week....a cleansing if you will. And it always puts a smile on my face.

Posted by: John | May 16, 2011 at 08:15 PM

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i've done the same, except only the last play with that impeccable defense. so sad :(

Posted by: D(erek)J(eter)

...Wouldn't Kobe love that? Open looks, wow, what's that?...

******************

Nope, Kobe would wait for the defender to get up on him and then he would pump fake 3 or 4 times and then shoot a low percentage shot. lol

MM,
The Lakerholism works all over the world, remember that. Many of your sympthoms are only for US residents. For a moment i thought i was cured. But i'm not.
Go Lakers!!

Hey, FCM, everybody. I'm still around, I just needed a few days off basketball. Now i'm going to go back to last monday or so and wear out the scroll wheel on y'all that don't have the love.

THE LOVE IS ONE THOUSAND POUNDS AND SEVEN FEET OF UNFETTERED FURY-----

IT IS ALL ABOUT THE LOVE

GO LAKERS!

phred - Nice to see you back! We definitely missed you

I have a permanent Keep on my TiVo of Game 7 last year and this year's beat down of Spurs to hold me over the extra 2 months we usually watch the Lake Show advancing.

"20 signs you're a Lakerholic during this off season"

I tried very hard to associate/identify with at least 50% of each entry on the list. Nothing worked!

And I'm not disappointed. Actually I'm relieved. :-)


@NUGGETSCOUNTRY … Funny how we all have games saved. For me, it’s last year’s Game 7 and Kobe’s 81. Just played Kobe’s 81 to see if I thought Kobe has lost it. Got to say, Kobe was on fire that night and was super cat quick. You can see how much the wear and tear and injuries have slowed him down. I doubted Kobe would match Jordan but after watching that game, I realized he already did.
…………………………………………………
TOM


Phil Jackson, you owe Lakerdom an apology and some cash!


I actually do thing the Mavs series was a bad dream, an unending nightmare really. I don't want to be too tough on PJ, he did bring the Lakers 5 sweet championships, but it seemed to me he was in a fog the whole series against Dallas. Like he was already tuned out, and it all started in Game 1, when he waited ridiculously until the 16 point lead shrunk to 3 before he called a time-out. That's where the Lakers lost this series. Losing Game 1 to New Orleans is one thing, but losing Game 1 to the dastardly hot shooting team like Dallas is playing with serious fire.


I mean, even when the Lakers lost Game 4 in a humiliating sweep, Jackson had a visible smile on his face (to me, that was an unbelievable sight: to bare a smile down 3o points, in a SWEEP) and he even admitted in the post game that he was actually "happy" the season was over.


That was eternally weak, and unforgivable. The man was not there. Phil Jackson was a ghost this year. He probably should return a huge chunk of his salary to Dr. Buss. If there ever was a year that this team needed serious coaching it was this year and in these playoffs.


Jackson was obviously spent, mentally. It was astoundingly selfish and patently ridiculous for him to come back this year. He should've retired last year after the sweet victory over the hated green. Ultimately, and to our everlasting chagrin, he ended up trading in the sweet for a sweep for a bucket full of green.


What a bad dream.

Another one - You still have the Lakers final game on your DVR and refuse to delete it, because you can still watch parts of it every once in a while, being Phil's last game, etc.

The announcers were good on that final game too.

@LakerTom: I have both the 81 and Mavs 62 in 3 quarters on DVD, so I can watch them anytime! I usually watch them on vacation when the wife goes to bed early. Me and Stu were doing the standing O at the same time on 81!

Its sad but true. I have actually done a number of those things on your list.....

My Girlfriend now sports my chicago bulls jersey wearing it with pride inside and out of the house. she is derrick roses biggest fan now that kobe is gone

after 3 months together she finally accepted basketball was a massive part of my life and decided to sit down and watch game 3 of the dallas lakers series. two of her comments stood out to me about the dallas mavericks.

"they cant stop that dirk guy"

"i thought a team is supposed to miss some of thier shots"

i should probably show her game 7 (dont worry i have my copy ) so she knows what a winning laker team is

How could the two-time defending champion Los Angeles Lakers get SWEPT by a phony, jump-shooting team like the Dallas Mavericks???? The same Dallas team, whose leader is a soft, mercurial jump-shooter from Deutschland. These were not the Pistons of 2004. Hardly. They were not even the Celtics of 2008.


Not even the Suns of 2006-2007.


How could PJ let this happen?


Not even one game.


Pathetic.


We all were happy when Kobe hit that last second shot in Sacramento to send the game into overtime, where the Lakers finally destroyed the Kings and were headed for a showdown with New Orleans, and then, Dallas.


That was our goal.


That was to be destiny.


What a shame.


Phil Jackson, why did you even sign on to coach this year?


Was it for the money?


Say it ain't so, Phil.

Dude...I'm going to say this once. If any of theses 20 are related to you, that's a sign that you're living a SAD and PATHETIC life. Look into the mirror dude, is this what your life has been reduced too? Now get your @zz up and take a shower, if this is what being a Lakerholic....JUST PITIFUL.

HEAT in 7 suckers and HATERS, deal with it.

Laker Tom, in my opinion Kobe's 81 was the single most exceptional individual performance ever in basketball. Greater than Wilt's 100. Greater than any game MJ ever had. The best ever. Period.

The variety of shots was unparalleled. Kobe was just blazing hot. And the truth is he could easily have scored more. That was the most amazing performance I've ever seen. And when Kobe's career is finally over, I predict that it is that game and that achievement that will set him apart from everyone else, including MJ. It is truly legendary, epic.

I have to agree with you all...I refuse to delete #7 from last year or the 2010 recap from my DVR. I also purchased the 2010 season DVD, but I haven't watched them in awhile. On a b-ball note, I think Shaw will be hurt by the season's pathetic end. I think it's unfair, because he should be given the opportunity to escape PJ's shadow, and prove he's a good coach. If the bench players learn the system properly, we can still win. I do think we need someone else to teach defense. There's no reason any team can't play the pick and roll on defense. Maybe we need a better defensive coach and philosophy.

come on kobe, work on your legs and participate in the practice more next season, and just concentrate on becoming an even better player than you are now, good things will happen.

and Andrew does not deserve to play the beautiful game of bastketball, i would even go that far.

The Lakers needed to lose like this so they would come back to reality next season and play like a real team without underestimating the opponent in the playoff games.

We'll see how a speed team will have the Mav's number tonight. Lakers need a shut down to help reorganize.

Not an easy task, hard to build from one season to another.

If B Shaw doesn't get the Lakers job and takes a HC position with Golden State or Houston or some other team, I wonder if he will run the Triangle.


That should be interesting to follow...

Laker Tom - It was an honor and pleasure to meet with you and Revelation Sunday...You are cooler in person than in Cyberspace...thanks for fighting the traffic and meeting with me and my wife for that short period of time...I wished I could of met with more of the NorCal Chapter...but with all the festivities and scrunched time...it was hard to coordinate anything else...

Remember to holler at me when you come in to Las Vegas...we are thinking of having a Council Meeting Weekend, complete with a round of Golf, for the first ever Lakerholics Open, and a picnic and also a BB pickup game...half court only, for I think I might not make it if it was a full court game...my body and wind is not what it use to be...

I will keep everyone posted who might be interested...and I will see if I can hook up a Casino/Hotel for a string of rooms at a discounted rate...I still can't believe how expensive everything was at Fisherman's Wharf, including the parking for $3 for 20 minutes...

@LEWSTRS: Did you go to Scoma's? My fav from the '70s up there.

#21. You use a polarizing former Lakers coach's name and face as a screen name on various Lakers blogs and chat rooms.

Guilty as charged.


DBDH!

Laker Tom,

Thanks for the words of support.

What do we play for? RINGS!!!

Lakers Today... Lakers Tomorrow... Lakers Forever.

GO LAKERS!!!

Yes, I am a Lakeraholic.

What do we play for? RINGS!!!

Lakers Today... Lakers Tomorrow... Lakers Forever.

GO LAKERS!!!

THIS YEAR SORT OF REMINDED ME OF THE YEAR MY HIGH SCHOOL TEAM HAD ALL THE INGREDIENTS OF A CHAMPIONSHIP TEAM BUT LIKE THE LAKERS WERE UPSET JUST BEFORE THE FINALS. THIS TEAM AND COACHES DID SOME SOUL SEARCHING AND CAME BACK AND WON THE NEXT TWO YEARS UNDEFEATED AND STATE CHAMPIONS. THE LAST YEAR THEY WERE NATIONAL CHAMPIONS. FOCUS, FOCUS, AND MORE FOCUS. JUST DON'T THROW THE BABY OUT WITH THE BATH WATER. PROVERBS 3:5-6 PROVERBS 15:1

This NBA play off showed us who were and is the greatest player of all time and there is no doubt that Michael Jordan was and is the Goat,there is no one like him,there is no one that can even come close to him,he was the best.I am sure that Phil Jackson and his coaching staff can attest to this,there is no way that Jordan and Pippen under Phil Jackson guidance would have allow their team to collapse and get sweep in an Nba player off in the second round.I am a Laker fan but i can attest that Jordan Bulls were so much better than any of the Laker Nba championship teams.It didnt matter what situations that the Bulls were in they were able to conquer all.There was no team ever as good as these bulls led by MJ and Pippen.

Posted by: ninja | May 17, 2011 at 12:26 PM


NINJA,

As a laker fan myself, I 100,000,000% AGREE WITH YOU!!!

As a fan of Kobe in most cases, Michael Jordan is just mesmerizing both on court and off court to watch! Plus, he is well received by most and beloved compare to Kobe.
Posted by: mary chandler | May 17, 2011 at 12:48 PM

20. This one's a given. You visit The Times' Lakers blog every day and comment at least five times on every post.

--Mark Medina

lol @ that one

For me as a Laker Fan I will consider giving Brian Shaw the Job. We need a young and energetic coach just like the teams who are playing for the western and eastern conference right now. The FO should decide or regrit it later if we lose him to other teams.

I have 4 games saved...

last 2 games of 2009 finals: DFish's treys!

and last 2 games of 2010 finals: near record low score for Celtics in game 6, and THE BEST COMEBACK EVAR in game 7........

cuhkies for evaryone!

trade kobe and get paul, get rid of walton and blake

Lakers will be winer next season!


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