Numerology readings on the Lakers
Forget about wondering how the Lakers will turn out this season. Forget predictions on how each player will perform. And forget about scouring websites, television shows, magazines and newspapers so that you know every single morsel about every single Laker.
OK, I was just kidding about the last part. I still want you to visit the L.A. Times Lakers blog so I have company and so the bosses are happy. But because there's plenty of time for me to seriously dive into what's in store for the 2010-11 season, I thought it'd be good to mix it up a bit. I hoped to talk to a numerologist so he or she can share readings on the Lakers, but that's apparently something that doesn't come for free. Since it's policy from The Times and pretty much any reputable outlet not to pay for interviews, I figured I'd do the next best thing. Find a website that gives free numerology readings, proving that all the pre-season speculation is really just a waste of time - except of course when it comes from The L.A. Times Lakers blog.
Here's how it works. Enter the name of any Laker along with their birthdate, and the website will provide a comprehensive analysis of that person broken up into several categories, including inner or soul's urge, personality, quiescent self, destiny or ultimate goal, life's path, this year's path, next year's path and last year's path. Below the jump include the entire Lakers roster and Coach Phil Jackson followed by a description of a specific category. I chose each category based on how accurate the reading was on that particular person.
You can really extend this exercise in multiple directions. You can enter former Laker players, hated opponents or even yourself to see what's in store. For those that take these readings seriously, take detailed notes. For those who don't, just enjoy it for the laughs.
Ron Artest (inner or soul's urge): "You respond to life from the heart. You want joy and happiness for yourself and for those around you. Inspiration and imagination are yours in abundance. You are somewhat of a dreamer. Children and pets occupy a special place within. You enjoy beauty, popularity, and constant activity. What you have is all you ask for. Life is a game. You enjoy life as it comes, laughing at discouragement or failure, and never letting depression get the upper hand. Even so, there is a reticent side to your nature. You might be living in a world of feeling and emotion. You fall in love easily. You can see beauty everywhere. And you express your own beauty through your varied artistic talents -- painting, sculpting, speaking, decorating, acting, music, writing -- anything with color, form, or rhythm. Seems you have a lot of friends; often entertaining, broadcasting your energy and your love, giving everyone a good time. You are probably not unfaithful, but you enjoy flirting. You are kind and obliging. Your friends mean a great deal to you. Patience and ability to concentrate could be enhanced for your personal benefit."
Matt Barnes (this year's path): "This is a year of service for you, a duty year. You feel you're assuming new responsibilities. People make more demands of you this year. You are needed in many directions. Warmth and good will toward others, along with love and harmony, will make everything worthwhile. Justice, fair play, and honesty are important. It is a year for unselfish service. Take care of your health because without it you cannot help others. Find time for rest and relaxation. This is a year to be thorough and conscientious about everything that you do. It is a year of fine and friendly influence for marriage, tranquil home conditions, and traditional family activities. You may feel a strong desire to get settled."
Steve Blake (your destiny or ultimate goal): "Your destiny lies in areas of creativity and its use to help people find inspiration and joy in living. As you express your artistic talents, your beauty, and an optimum mix of sincerity and joy, you come closer and closer to fulfilling your destiny -- which also includes popularity, personal happiness, romantic love, and money. You have integrity and are kind, patient, cheerful, artistic, creative, and a constant source of pleasure. And use your inspiration and imagination to spread your happiness by direct people contact and by writing, speaking, music, painting, decorating, or acting. You are a social person and enjoy entertaining and being entertained -- talkative and usually well dressed."
Shannon Brown (your inner or soul's urge): "You have a practical point of view and constantly work to put more order into your environment. In ventures or new directions, you like to look ahead, plan carefully, then apply yourself with concentration and good management. Once you have a goal in mind, you are persistent in its accomplishment. You are happiest when you can plan and create a permanent foundation upon which to build your life and your future. You desire respectability, solidity, love, and family pride and traditions and you loath pretension, insincerity, and deception. You want to serve and to be a rock of dependability and you appreciate the value of a job well done. A natural administrator, you are methodical and thorough. You are known for your reliability and pride of workmanship. To enhance your life experience, cultivate a wider viewpoint and discard things as they become outworn."
Kobe Bryant (inner or soul's urge): "Usually not very emotional, you are in this life to take action. You want to lead and direct. You are independent at heart and desire to reach your goals by your own efforts and intelligence. You have a strong creative force with many original and interesting ideas. There is much inner strength available to you. Rarely do you shirk responsibilities. You are proud of your abilities and seek opportunities to display your strength and usefulness. Others will respect and help you, like a true leader deserves, so long as you acknowledge and validate the interests and desires of others as well as your own. Be kind and generous, and you can be a recognized leader. You can display conceit and intolerance of people who are considered inferior -- boastful, egotistical, critical, impatient of trifles -- especially when you feel impeded. When you are headstrong, impulsive, or highly willful, you may appear contrary, bossy, dominating, or egotistical. You tend to be impatient with those who are resistant to change. You can be reticent, and can lack self-confidence. Sometimes you won't take a stand for fear of hurting others. Yet, something continually keeps urging you forward. You want your home, spouse, and family to be a credit to you. Overall, you are loyal in friendship, fair in business, a safe leader, and work diligently. You are capable of great accomplishment."
Andrew Bynum: (this year's path): "This is a practical year; no long leisurely periods for dreaming, personal indulgence, or careless living. It is a time to build the firm and secure foundation upon which your future depends, using practical values and steady application. It is also the time to work out the details of that project you've been thinking about. Read the fine print of all transactions. This is the year to find where you stand in life, and to be practical about it -- to pay attention to details. This year demands a lot of work, not only to improve the present but also to build practical foundations for the future. Your diligence brings commensurate rewards. With good sense, you can meet all requirements and experience satisfactory gain. Your gatherings, meetings, parties, and trips are mostly related to work or business. As part of the practical focus of this year, attend to health matters."
Derrick Caracter (this year's path): "This is the year to express your inspiration, your imagination, your creative thought, and your deep emotional feelings. You desire to do more entertaining this year and accept more invitations. Take time off to enjoy yourself. You can give color and warmth to all levels of living. Be artistic. Express yourself joyfully. Now is the time to follow those inspirational and imaginative ideas you are so excited about. Follow your desire for self-improvement; the year is rich with opportunities for inner growth. It is a colorful and eventful year, with pleasure, opportunities for travel, enjoyable social activities, and entertainment coming your way. Allow your abundance of cheer and optimism to guide you."
Devin Ebanks(your inner or soul's urge): "Your heart is sincere. You are helpful and companionable, most always willing to work for and with others harmoniously.People correctly sense that you are a natural peacemaker and diplomat, patient, a good negotiator, and able to keep secrets as needed to make and maintain peace and harmony. Your graciousness, kindness, and deep consideration for others are sometimes not appreciated, even taken advantage of. If you are too complacent, people can get away with considerable mischief. When receiving unkind criticism and hurtful remarks, you may recognize the cause of your personal disharmony by stepping outside and seeing your problems from afar. Sooner or later, your critics will recognize your calm as harmony. You can cultivate self-discipline and strength of purpose and would do well to find a quiet time for meditation every day. Being contented with small things (so long as you experience ease and comfort) and not overly ambitious, you do not demand wealth and luxury. You are very sensitive and emotional, easy-going, friendly, and fall in love easily. Yes, your heart wants love, devoted companionship, and a harmonious home. You are often studious, attract many things to yourself, accumulate much wisdom. Spiritual and psychic sensitivity are available to you simply by your recognition of them. As such, you have the capacity to develop clairvoyant or other psychic abilities."
Derek Fisher (your destiny or ultimate goal): "Your destiny is service to mankind and representing all that is fine, true, and generous. This is easier with tolerance, compassion, and understanding. You have tremendous power to warm the hearts of humanity and to stimulate the perception of beauty. You have an eye for beauty and perfection and are inspirational, kind, understanding, generous, an inspired artist, intuitive, and psychic. You give freely of your emotions, your skill, and your leadership purely for the benefit of mankind. You have the ability to use words effectively and artistically, both written and verbal. You are artistic, beautiful, strong, courteous, kind, impulsive, emotional, harmonious, and have an impressive personality."
Pau Gasol (your life's path): "Your life is filled with things practical, or making them so with patience, care, and accuracy. You have a strong sense of what is right and are naturally honest, conscientious, and sincere. You are a worker and can be decidedly dedicated to your goals. In your work, you can be loyal, intense, and dedicated to the job at hand. You tend to be practical, and like to have your facts straight before beginning a project. You can handle money well and tend to keep resources in reserve. You tend to be conservative and protective, with a strong sense of dignity and worthiness. Your path holds possibilities for great attainment. The rewards come because of patience, service, persistence, hard work, and dependability."
Phil Jackson (inner or soul's urge): "Deep down, you desire the best life has to offer. This includes living your inner life in peace and silence. You have a keen sense of perfection and like to meditate and analyze, dissect, examine, and consider things from every angle. And you can definitely do without poverty, the transitory, and the noise and confusion of the business world. You love huge libraries, old and well-maintained gardens, classic pictures, and time mellowed furniture. You are intellectual, scientific, philosophical, deeply intuitive, and a well of secrecy. You are sought after for your wisdom. Probably you are somewhat shy and deeply emotional, but with a horror of showing it. For more complete personal understanding of life, work on expressing your emotions, trusting your feelings, less avoidance, and being sympathetic and understanding with people. You possess a tremendous inner wisdom."
Lamar Odom (inner or soul's urge): "You yearn for personal freedom in every direction, including expression of free will; for change, variety, and constant new opportunity; and to learn about life in all its phases. The new, the unusual, the progressive -- these are where your enthusiasms are. Waiting around, being stuck in routine, and petty details are personal agitations. Because of your desire to experience everything in life to its fullest before you let it go, you may tend to overdo sensual experience such as sex, alcohol, drugs, and food. Instead of formal education, much of your wisdom comes from your tremendous range of activities and your contact with people of many classes and races and walks of life. This can put you in great demand as an alive and witty lecturer or teacher. You tend to be flexible, progressive, and restless.You can enhance your life experience even more by increasing your sense of loyalty and our patience, better defining your purposes in life, and not scattering your attention so much by going too many directions at once.
Theo Ratliff (your quiescent self): "You are a great humanitarian, eager to be of service for the betterment of all humanity. You support and perpetuate effective social organizations whose goals are the helping of mankind. You Love the human race. You are a great artist and your works serve to inspire others on a broad scale. Your thoughts and pleasure are being of selfless service to humanity in conjunction with personal love and happiness."
Sasha Vujacic (your personality): "You are seen as a colorful, cheerful, and entertaining person, a natural host or hostess. You can cheer up a lifeless party. Friends are important to you, and you are easy to talk to. In communication, you tend to elaborate and exaggerate in the direction of color and creativity, preferring to overlook the drab and mundane. If you take on too many activities at once, you can appear superficial or contrived. You probably enjoy wearing jewelry and fancy clothing. Just don't overdress or wear extreme styles in relation to the occasion."
Luke Walton (next year's path): "This is your year of achievement, your year to make great strides in business, employment, promotions, monetary compensation, and/or the accumulation of possessions. It is your harvest time. You feel ambition stirring, a desire to better your financial condition. To accomplish this, it is necessary to be businesslike, efficient, and practical all year. Many opportunities present themselves. To gain your rewards, move forward in a businesslike manner and with sustained effort. Your state of mind, mental capacity, education, experience, and self-confidence are all part of your success and financial advancement. You feel desire to make a special effort to improve or bring to a successful conclusion some of the ideas and dreams of the past years. This is a year of action. Place your abilities on the market with a sense of self-confidence and authority."
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Photos: Some of the numerology readings on various Lakers players appear pretty accurate. Credits: Liz O. Baylen/Los Angeles Times, Wally Skalij/Los Angeles Times, Los Angeles Times,