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Readers share their nicknames for Shaquille O'Neal and the Miami Heat's Super Team

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On Wednesday I asked the Lakers blog faithful to share their nicknames for Shaquille O'Neal after he joined the Boston Celtics as well as for the Miami Heat's "Super Team" featuring LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh. My plea for everyone to keep the comments clean and tasteful was met with sneers, laughs and eye rolls because of the rightful assertion that asking a fan to talk trash isn't exactly the most sportsmanlike thing to do. Though this doesn't exactly keep us immune from getting on James' supposed "enemies list," at least there were  plenty of comments appropriate for print.

"1. Creep and the Miami Meat 2. The Big Putrid and the Green Slime" -- Jon K

"The Three A-ME-gos featuring DUH-wayne, ME-Bron and RU-Paul. I like Shraq, the Big Green Ogre. That's funny." -- puddle

"What about Three Blind Mice? Once our defense kicks in, they won't be able to throw a pea in the ocean (RIP Chick). Snaq? Who?" -- Don't Blame Del Harris!

6a00d8341c506253ef0133f2622660970b-320wi

"For Miami Trio-- THE AXIS OF EGO. For Shaq--THE BIG BANDWAGONNER" -- lone star laker fan

"Boston - Grandpa Shaq; Miami - We're taking our egos to South Beach" -- LDM

"Shaq - The Big Leper or The Big Leperchaun; Heat - The Ringwraths, the 3Me-Egos, the Super-Egos" -- Konster

"Shaq: The Big Minimum. Heat Big 3: The Persuader, the Traitor, and the Canada Hater." -- Logo44

"Snaq = Refried Green Bean OR just "Green Bean" if you wanna get cute. Meame = The Three Stooges OR Miami (c)Heat" -- Jell-O is Jiggling

"Shaq -- The Big Leprechaun; Miami -- Sound Machine -- because all we've heard is talk" -- Bryant

"Shaq's name is Froghopper. The name for the Heat 3 is Miami Thrice." -- Jason

"The Big Underachiever & the Three Pendejos" -- Bill

--Mark Medina

Follow the L.A. Times Lakers blog on Twitter: twitter.com/latmedina. E-mail the Lakers blog at mgmedin@gmail.com

Top photo: Lakers fans don't view Shaquille O'Neal in the same light as they did during the Lakers' three-peat from 2000 to 2002. Credit: Wally Skalij / Los Angeles Times

Lower photo: There were plenty of creative nicknames for the Miami Heat's Super Team, which includes LeBron James.  Credit: Hans Dery / Reuters

 
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SUMMER CAMP…
My grandson just got his first email account so I was sending him some Lakers videos to enjoy and came across this one, which will give everybody a reminder of what the upcoming camp will be like for the rookies…
http://www.lakersmedia.com/Divx/lakers-brutal-summer-camp.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TOM

BREAKING NEWS FROM BOSTON: The images you are about to see are disturbing and viewer discretion is advised.
`
A 911 call was received from the home of Paul Pierce early Thursday morning. The dispatcher on the call, clearly shaken, stated “All I could hear was a high pitched scream, like…like a ten-year-old girl on fire…”
`
Police arrived at the scene minutes later to witness a large ogre-like creature exiting the premises, covered in a blood soaked #36 Celtics Jersey, mumbling “Green Beans, Green Beans” repeatedly.
`
After subduing the creature with Twinkie Cannons, police found Mr. Pierce in the fetal position at the foot of his wheelchair clutching the telephone receiver and a headband with the name “Rondo” stitched in the material. “He ate him…He ate my little friend!” Mr. Pierce wept. “I knew I shouldn’t have broke out the honey! Whyyyyy!!!”
`
More news to follow…

...now we've come to a place of unimaginable stench and filth...littered with bad rap, bad acting and traitorous trash...home of the ogre known as Shraq and three blind mice...

...Thankfully, Hogan offers to take us to the other side on his boat...I tell Caracter that loyalty is a sign of royalty...Caracter points to the Logo(Jerry West) on Hogan's boat and nods in agreement...

We'll Tear Up The "Miami Meeces " To Pieces!!!!!!
_______________________________________________________

GO LAKERS!!!!!! ONE, TWO, THREE-PEAT TO THE SECOND POWER!!!!!!

This just in! Mtv is doing a special "Pimp My Ride" with PP and his wheelchair from the 2008 Finals. Custom accessories include:

1. Extra padding on the seat. The 2010 Finals were unkind to his behind.

2. Custom-built sidecar with 400 lbs weight carrying capacity, minibar, tattoo station, recording studio, and Superman logo embroidery.

3. High-powered towel shooting cannon used for close playoff game distraction techniques. Doubles as a peace making device, or full surrender machine.

4. A pack of Rite-Aid house brand disposable razors for PP's 85-year-old-Filipino-man-styled-7-hair-fuzz-ball soul patch. Shave it. End it. Forget it.

5. Chrome-plated self esteem, all over that thing. Kobe & comapny jacked his back in June. We roll deep, yo.

6. Platinum Handicapped Parking / Disabled Person license plate that reads, "GOTTA PP".

DBDH!

...the Triangulator can be seen squashing the meeces to pieces...

Hogan/Halos Ant,

Those were great news releases, glad you guys got the inside scoop first.

...DBDH is heard screaming obscenities at the green ogre...

Nemaia - Good luck in your quest and FedX me some of that CCNUT juice!

THIS JUST IN: Number Of People LeBron Has To Keep Track Of In The Hundreds Of Millions


In response to LeBron James' recent statement that he won't forget "everyone" who has said negative things about him this summer, a Google survey discovered that approximately 257,489,192 people worldwide have said negative things about LeBron via Internet this summer.


Even LeBron's marketing team dismissed the enormity of the number in a written statement, "257,489,192 ain't nothing. We've got a list! Everyone on it better watch out! LeBron's comin' for you."


However, the most egregious of negative comments seems to be a certain blogger "Jon K." from the L.A. Times Lakers blog. "Jon K. just makes me so mad," LeBron is reported to have told his inner circle, "That guy is public enemy number one."


When reached for comment by email, Jon K. responded, "Bring it on! I got a sackful to throat punches ready for Princess Jimmy and his possee of hoodrats."


When asked if he was ready for a throat punch, LeBron seemed confused and murmured something about having to meet a Tibetan witch doctor for legal advice.


What do we play for? RINGS!!!


Lakers Today... Lakers Tomorrow... Lakers Forever.


GO LAKERS!!!

Thanks Art, it was a grusome scene but someone has to do it...

...the Artist applauds Hogan and HalosAnt for their attacks on all Laker enemies...

Hogan,


That is disturbing news.


What do we play for? RINGS!!!


Lakers Today... Lakers Tomorrow... Lakers Forever.


GO LAKERS!!!

Breaking News

Miami Heat trade Labron to Dallas Mavericks for Dirk Nowitzky.

Sources report that Miami has had serious concerns about Labron's maturity and feel he will ruin the teams newly developing chemistry.

Maverick's owner Mark Cuban welcomed the trade saying, "I'm more immature than he is, so Labron will actually be an upgrade in that respect."

Labron reportedly warned everyone on the Heat that they will get added to the List he has been keeping. He promised Dallas would win 5 Championships before the 2013 season is over.

Reportedly, Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh said getting Labron to Miami was a ruse, they really wanted Nowitzky all along.

Link to news release here:

www.espn/bs/reports. com

"4. A pack of Rite-Aid house brand disposable razors for PP's 85-year-old-Filipino-man-styled-7-hair-fuzz-ball soul patch. Shave it. End it. Forget it.

5. Chrome-plated self esteem, all over that thing. Kobe & comapny jacked his back in June. We roll deep, yo.

6. Platinum Handicapped Parking / Disabled Person license plate that reads, "GOTTA PP".

DBDH!

Posted by: Don't Blame Del Harris! | August 12, 2010 at 02:16 PM"

DBDH, hey, don't knock RiteAid, I worked there after they overthrew the worthless Thrifty Drug (only known for their ice cream)....on second hand knock them, I sell the HELL to them, and quit back in 99', as their East Coast business principles didn't apply to the West Coast....I see them going under or getting broken up and sold off in the future. Should have stayed, would be 2 years away from 30 years of service, and a nice pension.

The nickname for the Miami Heat Super Team.....

"The Wean Team"

...I thank and promise Hogan some of the best coconut juice as soon as we get Caracter to Lalaland...

@ humanomaly (ow),

I ain't mad at Rite Aid! Those razors are great! I just thought they would be a perfect match for PP and his flossy-flossy ride. Maybe he can hire a small monkey to groom his chin and it could ride shotgun when Snaq is out trying to be a Boston Police Officer. He's got more badges than a cub scout, bro.

DBDH!

BTW, Thrifty had some bomb ice cream! I liked the tubular scooping method. I'm not into the showmanship of Cold Stone and what not.

DBDH!

For Boston, the three point 5 and Shaq..... "Rondo wants to be a Laker!!!" .....he's passing out from the smell of Ben-Gay.

http://nba.fanhouse.com/2010/08/12/charles-barkley-rips-lebron-miamis-big-three-as-punks/?synd=1

snippet:
"I heard about LeBron's little tweet today that he's remembering everybody who said anything bad about him," Barkley said Thursday on ESPN Radio 103.3 FM in Dallas/Fort Worth. "And he said 'everybody.' Well, I want him to make sure that he puts my name on that (list).

"I thought that his little one-hour special was a punk move. I thought them dancing around on the stage was a punk move, and I thought he should've stayed in Cleveland. Him joining Dwyane Wade's team was very disappointing to me."

snippet:
"He's got enough people kissing his ass with his family and all the people who work for him," Barkley said. "We don't have to tell him what he wants to hear all the time. That's one of the reasons why ... some of these young guys ... my opinion is he should have stayed in Cleveland.

"That one-hour special, them jumping around on stage like punks, that wasn't cool to me. From a basketball standpoint, I wish he had stayed in Cleveland, and if he takes that as criticism, so be it.

"He knows where I'll be, I don't run. I'm on TV every week, I'm easy to find."

Barkley may be wrong, but he doubts it.

DBDH!

http://www.amazon.com/May-Be-Wrong-but-Doubt/dp/0812966287

...Hobbit returns with a vengeance...Barkley stomps on the three mice...Caracter just wants to be a Laker...gotta get him there...

>>>This just in! Mtv is doing a special "Pimp My Ride" with PP and his
>>>wheelchair from the 2008 Finals.

It has a name.

It's called the Piercecalade.

...LongTimeLakerFan has begun the countdown to training camp...must get Caracter there first...

hobbitmage,


I expect LeBron's freethrow percentage to drop by about 20% as he poorly copes with being jeered constantly throughout the season.


What do we play for? RINGS!!!


Lakers Today... Lakers Tomorrow... Lakers Forever.


GO LAKERS!!!

>>>This just in! Mtv is doing a special "Pimp My Ride" with PP and his
>>>wheelchair from the 2008 Finals.

It has a name.

It's called the Piercecalade.

Posted by: LongTimeLakerFan

***

YES!

DBDH!

Jon K - I don't think LeBron has the nuts to take on the role of villian. That is Kobe territory. I'd expect all of his stats to drop like a rock because of that and the fact that DWade will dominate the ball and Bosh will shoot too much.

"Barkley May Be Fat, But His Cover Image Isn't"

He Thanks God For Airbrushing...

I've learned to do the opposite of what Sir Charles forecasts even though we were born on the same date.
______________________________________________________

GO LAKERS!!!!!! ONE, TWO, THREE-PEAT TO THE SECOND POWER!!!!!!!

Damn. Jon K made LeBron's enemies list, and I didn't. Oh, well. I guess I'll have to try harder. Ugh.

According to ESPNLA.COM, Caracter has agreed to sign with the Lakers: ".....The Lakers other second-round draft pick, Derrick Caracter, a 6-9 big man selected No. 58 out of the University of Texas El Paso, has also agreed to terms with the team. Caracter is flying out to Los Angeles on Thursday to officially sign with the team Friday, according to Caracter's agent, Happy Walters...."

DBDH,

It's all good, I still have friends that work there...in reality, working for one chain pharmacy is the same almost as working for another, it's cyclical, there will be good times and there will be bad times. When I got a job out of retail at an HMO that "Thrives", I found the work environment to be no better, although the employees there looked at me as lower class, because I worked in the trenches. Hey the trenches at this HMO are horrible, and ......well, the job sucks regardless, but it pays the bills.....

Come to think about it, I wonder if you can buy one of those cyclical ice cream scoopers elsewhere....Amazon, here I come....

I thought the Laker Peace post was a fake news story, but it's a real one.
Caracter to sign with Laker tomorrow.
Thanks Laker Peace.

http://sports.espn.go.com/los-angeles/nba/news/story?id=5458960

Good job Nemaia, you're almost there...

Done.

And Done.

No more signings, no more trades.

The line-up is secure and ready to begin.

IT'S TIME TO ROCK AND ROLL!!!

LAKERS BABY!!!!!!!!!

HOUSTON -- (August 12) NASA officials refuse to confirm or deny reports that Lakers blogger phred phredington was abducted by Aliens late Wednesday night. Eyewitnesses say Mr. phredington was spirited away after numerous suspicious posts.

Government sources, speaking on the condition of anonymity say that the UFO which spirited Mr. phredington away was tracked down by Air Force F-16 fighters and forced to land at Area 51. No communication has been forthcoming since.

Mr. phredington had recently completed a trip to the Pacific Northwest. but details are sparse about his activities there. Attempts to obtain comments from close family and friends have been unsuccessful.

Mr. phredington is best known for his hallmark signature, "It's all about the love."

Laker J, I disagree, neither has done squat for New Orleans yet, actually I don't care what CP3 demands, and I don't think his team does either as he's locked in for 2 years, and the 3rd year is his option....
Posted by: humanomaly (ow) | August 12, 2010 at 12:21 PM
---
Humanomaly - Surely New Orleans cares about what CP3 thinks. Why else would they give up a promising young player like Collison. They're trying to win now and can't worry bout the future. This deal with help some, but I still can't envision them winning more than a round in the playoffs.

Oh please, oh please...can we pick a day and time when we get all the Miami talk out of our system? It will be okay to bring them up the day before, day of and day after Lakers play them? Pleeaazzzee?

I am a Lakerholic and I get the shakes every time something green or Miami leechy infests this lovely blog. It's a disease.

Cheers all - PLG

Art -

According to the piece, Ebanks has a non-guaranteed contract and Caracter a guaranteed one year.....uhm....

...thanks Hogan and bids farewell for now...must continue to get Caracter there...the journey is almost complete...

Hey guys we got a new post up. I interviewed Roland Lazenby about the 1960 U.S. Olympic team, which featured Jerry West. The team is getting inducted into the Hall of Fame tomorrow

MM

Nemaia - you're on a roll. Keep it coming.

Jon K - Look what you started with your inside news stories. Hilarious.

DBDH & Hogan - good stuff.

Rick, that might explain some about Phred's last night ranting.

I swear, he ended one rant by saying, "its all about the probing"

@ LRob:

It's my Friday, brah. I can see the light!

DBDH!

And just think...4 summers ago the Blog was in disarray due to TRADE ME/DON'T TRADE ME WATCH. Look at us now.


I heart Championship summers!

Shaq = Big Shrek part 6 "Green with Envy" ... towards the Lakers

Miami trio = The 3 Stooges.

@FATTY… “According to the piece, Ebanks has a non-guaranteed contract and Caracter a guaranteed one year.....uhm....” That IS very interesting. I thought after watching them in summer league that Caracter seemed to be the more impressive player. I think looking at our roster, it would be great to find a fourth player who could help us cover minutes at the 4 and 5. I thought Caracter had excellent moves in the low post and knew how to use hip checks to freeze defenders so he could get his shot up. It will be fun to see how he plays once preseason starts but I just have a hunch that he is going to be the better of the two.
By the way, nice job picking up on the towel issue and the Celtics. Proud to be cheaters is their motto.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TOM

I just wrote a post for my blog (pardonmybias.com) regarding my take on the recent comments by Jeff Van Gundy and all the hype around the Heat. Here is a direct link: http://pardonmybias.com/actions-speak-louder-than-words/
Feel free to comment and voice your opinion.

miami: the Bermuda triangle
shaq: the rolling bandwagon

BDBH....I ended up there as well, on E-Bay, a company that will one day collapse.....thanks....I don't think I want to spend that much for an ice cream scooper, I'm quite happy with ny OXO brand one....

Regarding the contracts of the two rookies, it doesn't matter, at their cost of a million a piece, taking into account the penalty, they are going to take a good look at these two, they will probably carry both thru their first seasons, and both will probably see alot of D-League action, as well as be ready to suit up for the real deal the same night (the Jordan Farmar Syndrome).

LRob:

"Humanomaly - Surely New Orleans cares about what CP3 thinks. Why else would they give up a promising young player like Collison. They're trying to win now and can't worry bout the future. This deal with help some, but I still can't envision them winning more than a round in the playoffs.
Posted by: LRob | August 12, 2010 at 03:23 PM"

True, if getting rid of Collison appeases CP3 what does that tell you about him. I remember watching some qualifying games of the Redeem Team, and I can remember one clip of CP3 barking out directions at everyone, Lebron, Melo, Kobe, everyone....it was quite obvious that he doesn't lack any "leadership actions", notice, I did not say "leadership qualities"...I think with the coaching staff they had, with the pecking order that probably existed, I think he was like a puppy humping someone's leg. That is why I would never want him as the Laker's point guard. I'd take Derron Williams, I'd take Rondo, I'd rather take another look at Smush and see if he found his brain, because he had some skills.
Back to the Hornets...CP3 and the Hornie's will flounder this year and he'll pull a "Kobe Summertime diatribe"...that was funny, about he'd rather play on Pluto, goes to show that at least he knows what is commonly thought to be the farthest planet in our solar system. Speaking about "Pluto", I'm switching topics here, how come in the Disney "world"... "Pluto" is a dog and he can't speak, and "Goofy" is a dog and he can speak???? I was just checking out Pluto on wikipedia and believe it or not ....."Pluto has a younger brother named K.B."
is Goofy's younger brother Kobe Bryant????... could that have been why Kobe used that planet in his quote in May 2007 with Stephen A. Smith (that timid guy)....
Kobe said "At this point I'll go play on Pluto right now. You know what I mean?"
Maybe he was saying he'd go play with his brother..... This world baffles me at times.

....one more thing, yeah, I know, that sometimes the orbit of Pluto makes it closer than Neptune for periods at a time, like for around 17-20 years every 200 or so years.... and some people are trying to declassify Pluto as a planet. Geez, don't they have better things to do. I wonder what their blogs are like???

"Laker J, I disagree, neither has done squat for New Orleans yet, actually I don't care what CP3 demands, and I don't think his team does either as he's locked in for 2 years, and the 3rd year is his option....
Posted by: humanomaly (ow) | August 12, 2010 at 12:21 PM
---"

posted by me, the "care factor"....the contract binds him to that team, so that's why I said his "team" does not care, they have a business to run, and he's a contracted employee. That's what I meant. I don't believe they will turn the team inside out and upside down just because he wants them to. I believe they do talk to him to get his opinions as many teams do about things, but I don't believe he "runs" that team, or could.

Shack O'Heel, M.D.E*

*Most Deluded Ever

The Miami Sweet and Tres Leches ... BOSHton Creme Pie, Blueberry JamES and DuWhine Key Pie.

Ummmh ... a yummy treat for the Lakers.

the three nazgul...

f_ U all.......Celtics will hoist banner 19 to the rafters!!

Shrek O'Neal coz he is green and may smile but is an ogre with many layers
LowBrawn-Jade-Woshed from Miami

f_ U all.......Celtics will hoist banner 19 to the rafters!!
Posted by: MCB | August 12, 2010 at 05:47 PM


Hey MCB, it's 18 not 19, but then again, your delusion and apparent lack of knowledge about your team sure makes it more sweet that your Celtics lost a 13 pt second half lead in game 7 of the Finals. Go back to your blog you bandwagon Celtic fan and begone. Dont worry, we'll still be talking trash when your gone


SnaqHeel O'Neal

The Big SnaQ

Lone Star Laker Fan's: "The Axis of Ego!"
Just so! I'm using that for sure, but prior proper credit flows to its coiner.

Also, for Shaq: Logo44's "The Big Minimum." Works!

I'll add a little "Green" into the mix and make it "The Big Green Minimum." Not just 'cause of the tinge of his putrid, unfortunate new uniform, but for all the envy he will STILL be feeling when Kobe hits Championship 6!

2010-2011 looks good. Thanks for the nicknames.

haha.. the heat r going to pick apart the lakers for lunch..
and dwyane wade will finally be able to prove hes the best we have in the game

How come Miami Herald is not organizing these kind of hate boards?
Something is not right here.

shaq and the geriatric stale-tics!!!!
miami sellout machine
lebronze, lebandwagon and lecop-out.

Benedict Arnold is well and alive!... and big too!

RENT-A-SHAQDANNY! OR.....SHAQFINKLEKITE IN HONOR OF TWO OTHER CELTICS CENTERS WHO PLAYED 8 MINTUES A GAME AND DID NOTHING.
In the end for Celtics fans it will be SHAQ-A-CON!

For Shaq, how about: Kobe's 3 peat Ticket?

Sorry to beat a dead horse, but this is why we should never see Shaq's number hanging over the rafters along with the other Lakers greats.

"One of the biggest reasons I bought the Lakers was to beat the Celtics," Buss told Bresnahan in 2008. "If you were a Laker fan prior to my ownership, and you sat there and watched the Celtics whip us so many times, and how close we came -- one shot in one particular series -- you just got it into your soul that you couldn't stand the Celtics anymore."

So if Buss can't stand the Celtics, and I know Lakers Nation can't stand the Celtics, it stands to reason that a former Celtics will never have his number retired by the Lakers. Look at the present retired numbers hanging on the Lakers rafter. Is any of those player a former Celtics? NONE.


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