Video Caption Contest: Ron Artest playing dodgeball
"If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball."
Those were the famous words uttered by one Patches O'Houlihan in the movie "Dodgeball." And it's lucky for Ron Artest when he teamed up with Team Zankou Chicken recently for a little dodgeball action that his opponents weren't throwing wrenches.
Laker fans need not worry. Artest isn't hurt, and he can say with a straight face that he's more comfortable in the triangle (Hat Tip to You Been Blinded, Ball Don't Lie and ESPN Los Angeles' Andy Kamenetzky).
I'm going to feature a video caption contest with a few options. First: the event itself. Say you're on a dodgeball team and you see Artest show up to play. What's the first thing you say to him? Say you're on the opposing team and you try to knock Artest out. What do you say to him as you hurl the rubber ball at him?
The other option: Which sport do you want Artest playing in your rec league? Would Artest score 300 on your bowling team, or would every turn result in a gutter ball? Would Artest hit a home run on your softball team, or would he perform worse than Manny Ramirez post-female-fertility-drug era? Would Artest bend it like Beckham on your soccer team, or would he fare worse then France did in this year's World Cup? The best answers will be featured in a post Wednesday.
-- Mark Medina