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Imaginary text message exchanges between Kobe Bryant and Matt Barnes


If they haven't already, it wouldn't hurt for Kobe Bryant and Matt Barnes to get unlimited text messaging or become Blackberry buddies. Bryant's surely well compensated; Forbes recently reported he's the third highest-paid athlete at $48 million, so this is probably one of the least of his worries. But Barnes took a pay cut to join the Lakers, rejecting a $9-million offer and accepting a two-year deal worth $3.6 million, meaning Barnes' data plan may be one of the few sacrifices he'll need to make in hopes he can get that ring.

Who am I kidding? Barnes is still making some pretty hefty dough. Nonetheless, it's not a jump to say Bryant and Barnes have flooded each other's inbox. Barnes shared Tuesday in his introductory press conference that the two have been texting back and forth after Barnes expressed interest in playing for the Lakers. Interestingly, Barnes characterized the exchange this way in an interview with Fox Radio's "Into the Night with Tony Bruno": "Kobe has been the driving force behind this. I have been talking to Kobe back and forth like we were boyfriend and girlfriend for the last two weeks and sending us texts and talking."

Below the jump is what I imagined what the text messages entailed. Of course, knowing Bryant's tendency to use profanity, I had to consider that this is a family-friendly outlet. But you get the drift. Feel free to write out whatever else you think Bryant and Barnes were texting each other in the comments section below.

MB: Yo, Kobe. it's matt barnes. i got ur # from one of my boys. i wanna play for the lakers. hit me back

KB: My man. i hoped we could get someone like u after raja bailed on me at dinner

MB: Wow that was quick

KB: wut was quick?

MB: i thought u'd ignore my text. youre kobe bryant.

KB: it's the offseason. i don't have my phone off anymore

MB: so you didn't delete my text message? albert pujols and a bunch of people texted u after the finals and u deleted them! WTH?!

KB: hah, my bad. 500 phone calls is too much.

MB: so did you read my text? i really wanna play for the lakers. btw, sorry about our scuffle last season. we're competitors, know what i mean?

KB: it's cool. don't sweat it. this ain't no popularity contest. i'd love for u to play for the lakers. help us get a three-peat. just dont say three-peat once the season starts.

MB: i still can't believe i'm talkin to u, bro. i mean, i'm a man. if you weren't feelin me and said no, i'd be cool w/ that. we'd just be back at war against each other. But i want to be at war w/ each other

KB: anyone crazy enough to mess w/ me is crazy enough to play with me. thats why i love ron. he came to me in the shower after game 6 loss to boston in 08. i was like WTH? but he wants the ring

MB: let's get it done! you gotta admit, thou, i got u good last season

KB: got me good? i didnt even flinch. i knew u wouldnt do nothin. what would i flinch for?

MB: yeah but you kept chewing gum.

KB: jeff van gundy said it was the play of the game cause i didnt flinch. case closed

MB: he also said you can't shoot left handed

KB: yea, well i proved him wrong. made him know about it too

MB: i just hope if i join the lakers, everyone will like me. i hear lamar called me a monkey and ric flair

KB: hah that's lamar. good teammate. really got angry about it the next week. just give him candy and he'll be good.

MB: ive never been called ric flair b4

KB: wutever. miami is pullin the nwo act. we gotta do somethin

MB: how do i sign up?

KB: you gotta talk to mitch

MB: oh i thought you ran the shots around here

KB: i do, but i'm busy. i was at the world cup, ive been runnin my basketball camp, im bout to get surgery, head to china for a bit. ill tell mitch wuts up thou

MB: i cant wait. ive been on 7 diff teams never w/ a chance to get a ring.

KB: u gotta chance now. ill talk 2 mitch and hit u back


After Toronto failed to acquire Barnes through a sign-and-trade

MB: kob, hope ur not mad. sure u heard toronto wanted me thru sign & trade. didnt work. its all messed up. first, ORL doesnt offer contract, then they cant pull trade off. i still want to b w/ the lakers if thats cool

KB: tell me about it; i thought i needed to get outta LA few years back. wasnt sure whatever was gonna happen. oh well, 2 rings later...

MB: id love 2 get 1

KB: if u ride w/ me, we'll b good

MB: wut do u need me to do?

KB: just b matt barnes. what u pulled on me, u gotta pull on them

MB: i'm so ready to guard lebron. when i see him xmas day, im gonna clap powder in his face, im gonna get him ejected, im gonna say to him i have the new lebron iphone where it vibrates but has no ring.....

KB: thats corny. that punchlines been used way 2 many times. plus dont worry about lebron. rons got him. just back him up. guard the perimeter. we may need u. lukes back is all messed up

MB: whatever u need. i told my agent i dont even care about minutes or money. he's bringing that up to mitch too. cleveland wants me & is throwing the $ at me, but man i dont trust gilbert. he put lebron on blast like that. that teams in ruins

KB: they get home court and they do nothin in the playoffs. oh well we got bigger fish to fry. u on board?

MB: yeah man, ur the defending champs. ill do whatever i can do. u inspire me so much. remember u went to pauley when i was a bruin. u had a broken right hand & just practiced w/ just left hand! ish is crazy!

KB: hah that's nothin bro. wish u were here last season. played w/ 1 leg, practiced w/ just left hand too. d.j. and ron kept swatting my finger in practice. same w/ other teams. when id get mad, id take my splint and show him how crooked the finger is. its all messed up. but gary vitti takes care of me

MB: in practice next season, im gonna inbound the ball and make you flinch!

KB: haha, you kiddin right? it wont happen

MB: who can i get to flinch?

KB: get sasha. dont even need to try. i charged $300 meal to his hotel room; nearly lost it. say ur boys w/ dragic and he'll try to fight u

MB: haha no doubt. ill hit u up if i hear anything. put in a good word to mitch

KB: i got u


After Barnes accepts offer with the Lakers

KB: congrats!!! welcome aboard

MB: thanks a lot bro! ur awesome! i cant believe this is happening. its been my lifelong dream to be a laker! im pinching myself

KB: this ain't no inception. this is really happening

MB: so excited. i loved watching magic growin up. man, kareem, byron scott, it's showtime baby! but of course youre my favorite laker. you the GLOAT!!

KB: you better believe it. im in china now but well get dinner when i get back. ill pick u up in my helicoptor

MB: sick! ive never been in one b4!

KB: just dont blow off dinner like raja did.

MB: man i thought hed want a ring

KB: i understand his situation. wants security. but utah will never get a ring. cant stand that team. ever since my rookie season, cant stand them

MB: man laker nations not showing me love. i know they love u but thought the hate would go away

KB: just win man. they hated me after shaq left; hated me in first round exits; hated me during radio tour. u just gotta win and they'll love you

MB: im ready to win. i just want to contribute in any way i can. i want to be that small piece to get title #3

KB: my man. we'll be ready. ill see you at dinner. bring a notebook & a pen. ill break down the triangle for u w/ a quiz at the end

MB: couldnt ask to fight w/ a better competitor. wutever u tell me, ill do

KB: put in the work ron did, and ill embrace u no matter how many mistakes u make. tough to top ron thou.

MB: i love ron. he gave me some twitter love :)

KB: dont come at me w/ a smiley face. so corny. ill hit u up when i get back

MB: can't wait to see u!

--Mark Medina

Follow the L.A. Times Lakers blog on Twitter: E-mail the Lakers blog at

Photo: Referee Tony Brothers (25) steps between Lakers guard Kobe Bryant and Magic forward Matt Barnes after the two traded elbows and were called for technical fouls last year during a regular season game. Credit: John Raoux/Associated Press.

Photo: In this television screen capture from Sunday’s game, Matt Barnes pretends to throw an inbounds pass at Kobe Bryant’s face. Credit: ABC/ESPN.

Photo: Lakers forward Matt Barnes speaks to the media during an introductory news conference in El Segundo on Tuesday. Credit: Nick Ut / Associated Press

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Too much on your hand to concoct this dialogue, how old are you? Not a bad job sitting in your cubicle and making up stories..


FARSIDE - It's not a bad gig at all. As far as having too much time on my hands, this is kind of my job lol

Text speak drives me nuts.

I'm all about attempting to use proper spelling and grammar. To me, doing so is a sign of respect to the audience you're communicating with. In contrast, typing 'u r right' to someone communicates that the writer doesn't feel the need to make the additional effort to type the correct language to their audience. It's not worth their "time and effort."

That doesn't leave me with a good feeling.

Still, Mark, not a bad summation of how things probably went down.

What do we play for? RINGS!!!

Lakers Today... Lakers Tomorrow... Lakers Forever.


I don't care if Bynum makes the all-star team, or is slow to recover from his surgery, or takes 2 months to get into rhythm, or continues to be the Black Hole on offense, or whether he proves he is a better center than Brook Lopez, Chris Kayman, Al Jefferson and Bogut.

All I care about is that he is healthy for the playoffs. Bynum averaged over 29 minutes a game for the past three seasons, and in each of those seasons, he was not able to make it through an entire season healthy. The last time he played an entire season healthy was the 06-07 season, where he averaged only 21 minutes a game. I don't think this is a coincidence. I think it would be wise to limit Bynum's minutes this season to about 25 minutes a game. Having Theo Ratliff will give Phil the luxury of reducing Bynum's minutes by at least 5 minutes a game, thereby increasing the odds of Bynum staying healthy for the playoffs.

MM, Do You Ever Pinch Yourself & Think Out Loud "Wow! I Actually Get Paid For This..."


MM -

Those texts were far too coherent to be from Matt Barnes. LOL

The Triangulator - every single day. it's like im in the movie inception

puddle - hey man, barnes seemed pretty well spoken at the press conference. you got to give him some credit, at least


Jon K -

Can you imagine an entire book written in text speak?

MM -

That was pretty good, but.....I have heard from a reliable source it went something more like this.........

"Matt, its KB. We need u"

"Sure KB, I'll let my agent know u want me"

"Thanx Matt. c u n camp"

Laker Truth have you forgetten that Gasol is the primary back up to Bynum and will gobble every back up minutes (and clutch time minutes) at center? Yet the "Theo Ratliff will get some minutes off Bynum" thing continues.

Theo Ratliff will not play that much save for injuries to either Gasol or Bynum. He's not really going to back up Bynum just insurance if either goes down or in garbage time. Until then Gasol is the real back up to Bynum. Gasol is too talented and way much bigger upgrade than Theo Ratliff at back up.

Just like Kobe in 07-08. Yeah there was Vlad and Luke but Kobe was in essence the back up SF which allowed Sasha to play more minutes then at SG.

Wow MM, even when there are no news, you can came up with some made up news just for us!

You are doing a great job!!!

Hey Everyone,

I know it's near impossible that the Blazers would do business with us or help us in anyway, but here's a scenario to consider IF we were to trade Sasha(I hope we don't, but there's the possibility). Sasha + first round pick(s)for Rudy Fernandez. The link below states the Blazers will probably only get a first round draft pick for him anyways, so why not give it a shot? Oh, I forgot it's the Blazers and we're the Lakers. Oh well, here's the link.

Thanks Puddle, RL1980, Justa, Edwin and others for your kind words earlier. Now back to Laker business!

Mitch asleep on the job again, letting another one slip through the cracks......

Marbury to China for three more years. Will play for them in exchange for selling his shoes.

Marbury is in his twilight years, a washed up player, weed be gone

Haha, the corny parts get me. It's true, you gotta win to be loved. The least a player can do is get rowdy and get the crowd into the game. I believe Matt will fit just fine with the Lakers.


Tht dilog wuz fun read, likd it, gud laff.

Tok sum wrk on ur prt, gud job but shudu misplld mor uh Mats werds.

Lebron's Vegas bash does not sound like a big deal to me. There weren't any reports of drugs or orgies. A rich 25 year old having a good time in Vegas? What's the harm in that? I have a friend who partied with Lamar a couple times, and Lebron's partying, while over the top, is pretty tame compared to the stories I heard about Lamar's partying. I won't go into detail, because the last time I tried to post about Lamar's partying habits, my post was banned.

What bothers me is how ESPN is handling this. It's becoming increasingly clear that ESPN's relationship with Lebron is no different than Nike's. Nike confiscates tapes of Lebron being dunked on, and ESPN confiscates articles that portray Lebron in a negative light. There's a reason BSPN only hires writers that sniff Lebron's jock strap. BSPN is not a news agency, they have become Lebron's marketing agency.

I love your content! Good Stuff MM


Matt Barnes was a History major at UCLA. Listen to his press conference. He's very articulate. Just because he plays possessed on the court, doesn't make him incoherent. Ron-Ron rambles. Whereas, Matt Barnes formulates sentences, paragraphs and clear thought processes.

He's a Laker now, so get over it.


Ah, yes! Texting: The antithesis of quality writing, proper grammar, and intelligent dialogue. The future is bleak, friends.

I mean, "OMG. Ur gonna need 2 go back to skewl after u graduate this yr just 2 learn how to fill out a job app."


KB: With us you get to say to LeBron "in your face, loser"


You're right that Gasol is the primary backup at center. (One can argue that Gasol is the starting center, since he usually finishes games at center.) Theo can easily handle 10 minutes a game. Those 10 minutes can provide some much needed rest for both Bynum and Pau. I don't think Phil will reduce Bynum's minutes to 25 a game, but I am certainly hoping he does so. Reducing Bynum's minutes will go a long way in keeping him healthy for the playoffs.

MM -

That's what makes Barnes's tweets all the more mystifying. He's obviously a bright, well-spoken guy, so why does he tweet like his fingers are having epileptic attacks?

For those who really hate the Miami Heat, but don't quite know why...

Hahaha Fatty. Good one.

Marbury: the classic example of how assist numbers in no way reflect a player's unselfishness.

The Meatheads pick up Eddie House and are said to be interested in signing TMac. It will be so sweet to beat a really, really stacked team like that if they make it to the finals. New England Patriots meet the NY Giants, Miami Heat meet the Los Angeles Lakers!!!

Nemaia -

I think Rudy would be an excellent fit in our system. Perhaps better than Sasha in all categories but defense.

But he came to the NBA to get playing time, and his future in Portland is limited.

Would he see more opportunities in LA playing behind Fisher, Blake, and Kobe, and maybe Shannon as well?

I also looked up the salaries and they don't match, so others would have to be involved.

Sasha - 5.5 mil
Rudy - 1.3 mil

Plus, like you said, its Portland, and they ain't no friends of ours.

puddle - maybe i should've cleaned up the texts. i think it's just how most people text you know?

Plus, players tend to worry more about speaking professional and articulate to the media. This is obviously more casual lol



That article said it all. He took the right angle and expounded on it extremely well. Although, the chants of "Beat LA" in opposing arenas across the land ring pretty clearly that the Lakers are still the most hated as well the most loved team in the NBA. The Heat may wear the mantle of most hated this season and beyond, but we'll see.

I like to write everything out in text, but I'm truly not above expedient text talk. After all, how else to I speak to my kids?

MM -

No, no, I think you misunderstood me. I don't think you should have cleaned up the texts at all. In fact, my point was that, in reality, while Barnes is a well-spoken guy, his real-life tweets are far less coherent than the texts you imagined from him. Here are a couple of real Matt Barnes tweets:

hate me or luv me??? I'm a LAKER now baby deal w/it!!!!

This is the 2nd comment uve made about my girl. You sound jealous. Don't worry ull find someone, U little hood rat

Damn I didn't know this many of yall hated me $h!t!!!!! I need a hug. Siiiiiike!! I'm wit yall now let's get #3

I need to bust out my special decoder pin just to read these things. Anyway, enough on Matt Barnes and his texting decorum.


Thanks for the excellent response. I do think that if we were able to land Fernandez, he would actually overtake Shannon Brown as the primary backup to Kobe, because Fernandez is a better all around player than Shannon and can play positions 1-3 on this Lakers team. I also think that playing alongside Pau and for a ring would temper his desire to become a starter as least in the short term. You bring up a good point that it may take another team getting involved to make the salaries match and so forth, but trading Sasha + a first round pick(s) could be worth it. It all seems farfetched, but it wouldn't hurt for Mitch to look into it. Or perhaps we could do a sign and trade with Brown + first round draft pick(s) to Portland for Fernandez. Oh well, just throwing out some possible scenarios. I would be totally happy and content as well if we didn't trade Sasha and signed Brown.

So Kobe had a meeting with Raja and reached out to Barnes (becoming his boyfriend), I wonder if hes talking, twittering, face booking, sexting, my bad, texting with Shannon.
Cuz (text talk) if hes not, if I were Shannon I might be having some hurt feelings right now.

OK, here's the latest on the LBJ/ESPN fiasco, just pulled from Twitter.

Regarding the LeBron story. Here are the statements from principles:

Rob King, Vice President & Editor-in-Chief, ESPN Digital Media:
" will not be posting the story in any form. We looked into the situation thoroughly and found that Arash did not properly identify himself as a reporter or clearly state his intentions to write a story. As a result, we are not comfortable with the content, even in an edited version, because of the manner in which the story was reported. We’ve been discussing the situation with Arash and he completely understands. To be clear, the decisions to pull the prematurely published story and then not to run it were made completely by ESPN editorial staff without influence from any outside party."

Arash Markazi, Writer & Columnist,
"I have been in conversations with’s editors and, upon their complete review, understand their decision not to run the story. It is important to note that I stand by the accuracy of the story in its entirety, but should have been clearer in representing my intent to write about the events I observed."

Seriously? Reporters don't go undercover, anymore? This was in a nightclub, not a private home or business. The general rule is expectation of privacy, and that's for recording, not observing.

M2, it would be great to hear from you and Mike James on this.


How about this for a future thread? If you were Derrick Caracter, what would you do? Go to training camp and make the Lakers roster or go and play in Europe?

Any updates on what our rookies are doing since summer league ended and how things are progressing with Kupchak? Thanks MM, keep up the great work.

What's good Laker family!

MM- That was good. Especially cant stand Utah since rookie season.

Laker Truth - Agreed. I just want AB ready for the playoffs. Also I didn't see what the big deal was about that Lebron party either. Sounded like your regular garden variety athlete/entertainer over the top self indulged bash to me.

Don't like the headlines this morning:

Eddie House just signed with Miami for the vet minimum (we could have used him).

Some Israeli team is offering decent bucks to sign Caracter (we need him).

The Cavs just increased their offer to Shannon Brown (we REALLY need him).

Even though most of our roster is solid, I'd really like to see those last few spots filled in with the right guys. C'mon Mitch, finish up right and THEN take some time off, OK?

Jay Jay, I'd much rather House go to the Heat than back to the Celtics, which was the other team bidding for his services. The Heat have 2 dynamic players on the wing, and Bosh is good, but too finesse for me to declare him a difference maker... he repeatedly failed to get a team into the playoffs in the EASTERN CONFERENCE, where 42 wins gets you in. Totally agree on Character, but if Brown goes, expect to see Sasha dealt at the deadline for another athlete, or possibly increased chances for Ebanks, even though Phil hates rookies. All in all, these last few signings are insurance policies, but will not hamper nor derail the threepeat, but i feel you.

Also Lebron didn't noticed Markazi's big orange hat:

Someone mentioned this earlier, but I don't know if a link was posted on here yet. This guy has some serious cajones to attend a Cleveland Indians game with a LeGone Heat jersey on. Here's the link.;_ylt=AtQtyzybE1bN6O9aItZNiIK8vLYF?urn=nba-259026


"BSPN is not a news agency, they have become Lebron's marketing agency."


What do we play for? RINGS!!!

Lakers Today... Lakers Tomorrow... Lakers Forever.


Nemaia Faletogo,

Dude, it's going to be so ugly when LeCreep plays the Cavs in Miami.


What do we play for? RINGS!!!

Lakers Today... Lakers Tomorrow... Lakers Forever.


Nemaia Faletogo - That is a good idea. I think I'll put something together tomorrow on that

Rick - I don't want to speak on Arash's situation specifically because I know and respect him personally and I don't know the exact circumstances. As much as it shows LeBron's immaturity, this doesn't exactly fall in the public right to know category. While it's every reporter's responsibility to identify who they are when they interview people, publicists should be familiar with who reporters are, especially with ones they've worked with in the past. Anyone should always assume a reporter is at an event to write something. That's kind of our job.


MM -

Thanks for sharing what you can. Its the inside stuff that makes this blog special.

Mr Nano is a Simpsons fan....Futurama as well?


Wow, thanks for even considering it. Looking forward to tomorrow! No matter what Justa says about you, you're alright, LOL! Just kiddin' Justa, you know I roll wit ya!


Hilarious stuff! Thanks for the link, I needed to laugh today.

Don't Blame Del Harris!,

"Ah, yes! Texting: The antithesis of quality writing, proper grammar, and intelligent dialogue. The future is bleak, friends."

Alas, I must concur. Anyone who's read George Orwell's "1984" knows that once you truncate a society's ability to communicate with flourish, you take away the effectiveness in which a person can communicate to others the individuality of their inner emotional world and, thus, create emotional separation. A society built on emotional separation is one without unity, but also one of discontent. Being without unity, they cannot rise up. Being of discontent, they are easily lead.

Twitter is evil.

What do we play for? RINGS!!!

Lakers Today... Lakers Tomorrow... Lakers Forever.



House? Meaningless. Caracter? We own his rights anyway. Brown? An unnecessary piece. This is all meaningless flotsum an jetsum.

Considering the FACT that ESPN has a long history of catering to Lebron's needs, his image, and his legacy, Lebron likely assumed that there was no way in hell that an employee of ESPN (his marketing agency) would dare to write an article portraying Lebron in a negative light. That's against ESPN's rules after all.

This whole situation reminds me of the movie "Almost Famous", the only difference being that once Rolling Stone realized that the article was factual, they had the integrity to print the story.

raiderlaker -

I agree the last few signings won't hamper the threepeat - IF we stay healthy. But if God forbid Kobe or Drew goes down again Shannon or Caracter could make a big difference. I would love to see a 100% healthy Laker squad kick some Heat or Celtic butt come June, but these 10-11-12 spots become primary backups or even spot starters if someone goes down.


Remember opening night three years ago against the Rockets how Laker fans booed Kobe because of his surround me with better talent or trade me demand? If he did get traded(thank God he didn't and now he and we are reaping the rewards), what would've been the reaction of Lakers and LA fans in general towards Kobe if he came to town in say a Bulls uniform? Do you think it would compare in any way to how LeGone will be received in Cleveland upon his return? I mean if Kobe was booed for demanding a trade, what would've happened if it actually went down?

@ Jon K

I have to agree with you on text/twitter speak. It's quite annoying when one recieves a series of letters, numbers and symbols and I have to pull out dusty, leather-bound social hieroglyphics and discern what my pal is attemptin to hip me to.


I don't think anyone can top that imaginary text line you came up with. That's goldurn epic, man, well done.

A note on dischord. Even though we're all Laker fans, we have extremely divergent opinions on what we like about the team, what types of players we like on the team and who the better players on the team. I like Luke Walton and what he brings to a the Lakers, his unselfishness, his passing and his desire to make the team better as oppossed to getting his. Other folks on the blog cannot stand the thought of Luke Walton taking the floor. In their minds his lack of athleticism and eratic offensive play do nothing but bring the team down.

Both emotional responses are valid and neither individual is technically *wrong*, yet the dischord remains. It all comes down to being civil with one another, agreeing to diagree, and keeping the vitirol to a low level.

In honor of the working stiffs of America, I present this awesome Minutemen song:
and for those of you who are feeling the pull of the cerveza:


I like Twitter - people who know how to keep their mouths shut for personal and professional reasons don't use it, and everyone else... it gives so much delight and humor! It is the fount of idiocy on slow days.

MM -

How about a Haiku contest...You can post Haiku of the Day, along with the RCOTD...

Dog days of summer is tough

Oh, and great job MM - I lol'd & lol'd while reading it.


Good to see ya. I'm glad we passed on House and while we do have Caracter's rights, I would much rather that he make the roster and develop his game going up against our veteran core group and other role players in practice everday than head overseas. Anyways, MM said he'll put something together about Caracter tomorrow, so I'll wait on discussing any further. Peace.


AWESOME link!!!! As a fellah that dabbles in accordian playing, I thought the dude rocking The Wall was so dang funny. Also, Keyboard Cat spoof awesome, too.

Thanks hobbitmage, you brightened my dreary work day by a factor of 39.56.

When you know you might be in trouble....

A Hot Shot crew of 8 guys came to us this morning and volunteered to move all our belongings to the 2nd floor.....just in case.

2,000 sand bags placed and counting around my house, and Fatty is starting to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger,.... but with a beer belly.

'Ya, I place dez sand bogs all by myselv. Dey really pump you up, the muscles. Not a job for girly men. With only little help from daughter. I couldn't have her break nails, no?"

Minutemen rule! Been awhile since I listened or saw them. Thanks!

Nemaia Faletogo,

Here's the thing... I've been in exile in Cleveland for several years now doing emic anthropological research on the community. I KNOW Cleveland and Clevelanders. These guys WORSHIPPED LeBron James WAY more than Lakeraholics revered Kobe Bryant. Sure, we're HUGE Kobe fans, but it's about the Lakers first for the overwhelming majority.

In Cleveland the obsequiousness of the population in their relationship with LeBron felt almost pathalogical. I've never experienced anything like it. It was an almost stalkerific kind of adoration born of desperation. It was TOO perfect a situation: A down-and-out community on the downward slope filled with macho-competive cultural institutions so desperate to get back on top and not really knowing how to.

A hometown boy comes to lead them to the promised land: A Championship, after so many years of disappointment. I cannot effectively communicate how badly this community wanted victory and how deeply cynical it had become after years of economic, cultural and spiritual decay. At the same time, it's a really proud and stubborn community. They NEEDED one of their own to lead them to victory because they're not going to listen to anyone else.

And then instead of LeBron sticking with them, he leaves them at the altar for a hotter-looking girl.

And all this news coming out about his immaturity and hoodrat possee... oh ho ho ho!

They'll never get over it. They'll never forgive him. Never. One thing Clevelanders excel at is hating. They are really, REALLY good at it.

Now they'll be putting their skills to good use.

What do we play for? RINGS!!!

Lakers Today... Lakers Tomorrow... Lakers Forever.


What's Twitter?

MM: I am speechless. One of your best work yet! Made me LOL.

Fatty - in the immortal words of Bill Cosby: "How long can you tread water?"

You go Fatty...Here we are bored with no topics to discuss...

And there you are in Flagstaff working thousands of sand bags and fighting Mother Nature...

Keep on keeping on!

Jamie Sweet,

I am a proud Luke Walton fan.

What do we play for? RINGS!!!

Lakers Today... Lakers Tomorrow... Lakers Forever.


Thanks for the love guys. We got another post up


Importance of Match-ups! LA 11-1 ahead!
MATCH UP RANKINGS! Kobe-Wade will be the most important match up! Could determine end of the game.

1 Kobe-Wade LA
2 Artest-James MI
3 Gasol-Bosh LA
4 Bynum-Big Z LA

5 Odom-Haslem LA
6 Barnes-Miller LA
7 Blake-Chalmers LA
8 Fisher-Arroyo LA
9 Sasha-Jones LA

10 Ratlif-Howard LA
11 Caracter-Pittman LA
12 EBanks-Varnado LA

The only way Miami Meatballs can get an advantage is when they change the game and RUN AND GUN!

If they go small with Chalmers/Wade/Miller/Lebron/Bosh, they will eliminate the Lakers strength in Bynum and Gasol.

Match-up in fastbreak!
Chalmers-Blake MI
Wade-Kobe MI
Miller-Artest MI
James-Odom MI
Bosh-Gasol MI

Phil Jackson will have to prevent Miami from running.

@ Jon K.,

Ur rite.


Miami is interested in T-Mac?

He's just Penny in disguise, you know. He's going to learn the "Hardaway" (ha-ha, that was a good one) that injuries can often break down the body, and cloud the mind. At least guys like Larry Johnson learned to play the game without their physical gifts by using their noggins. Shoot, even Mike boosted his game with those wicked (Kobe?) fadeaways and turnaround jumpers in the latter half of his career. His post game was epic at times. Remember how John Thompson called him "Floor Jordan" after he left baseball? Classic.



Don't Blame Del Harris!,

The exclamation point at the end of your moniker makes it perfect.

Dog days of summer
Twitter is the Devil, yo!
Must sign Shannon Brown

What do we play for? RINGS!!!

Lakers Today... Lakers Tomorrow... Lakers Forever.


If Miami signs Snaq and T-Mac, all they need is my ex-girlfriend and they have the best team of disgruntled individuals ever ASSembled.

My name is Don't Blame Del Harris, and I'm a Heat Hater.


Cleveland hates the Meat
Los Angeles hates the Meat
Florida can suck swamp

LeCreep in Vegas
Acting like a gosh-darned fool
Stomp Meat like cockroach

What do we play for? RINGS!!!

Lakers Today... Lakers Tomorrow... Lakers Forever.



Regarding Caracter, whatever. Regarding 1-12 depth, who cares. It's importance is only to help get us through the practice season. Our 1-8 pieces are already in place to three-peat. That is my only concern.

FR: Jon K.,
"Don't Blame Del Harris!,
The exclamation point at the end of your moniker makes it perfect."


It adds conviction to my statement. Del was a great coach. He's just didn't have the pedigree or patience that Phil had back then. The Lake Show was stacked, but immature. That wasn't his fault by any means. Mike Dumbleavy inherited a squad in '91 that was destined to be in The Finals. They were almost the annointed champions before Game 1. Del on the other hand, had the Randy Pfund/Bill Bertka/Magic Johnson-led young (and temperamental...) guns and he did his best. In 1997, 1998, & 1999 we were beaten by 2 Jazz teams at their peak, and a rejuvenated/healthy Spurs team that also won the Championship (ASTERISK) that year. A few 50 win-seasons in there, too (sans 1999).


Jon K -

You are one out there dude.

Don't ever change.

@Jon K

I am a proud Luke Walton fan, too. This is my Luke WEalton bobblehead, there is no other like it...etc.

That's basically what I'm getting at, we all like the same team for vastly different reasons, but we can appreciate our differences without going over the edge.

>>>The link below states the Blazers will probably only get a first round draft
>>>pick for him anyways, so why not give it a shot?

There's a difference between a Knicks first round pick and a Lakers first round pick. The Knicks one is at least 20 positions higher in the draft.

KB Blitz,

I hear you, man and I agree that it's going to be either Pau or Bynum at the 5 for the second unit. But I'm almost certain that we're going to see some run with Ratliff as part of the second unit for PROBABLY the following reasons:

1. The last 2 seasons, Phil's option was to insert DJ Mbenga in order to rest his bigs. For sure, that puts too much of a strain to deliver from the likes of LO, Luke, Shannon/Sasha, and Farmar. When Bynum went down last season, Phil was actually using Powell and LO instead of Mbenga. As expected, we lost leads built by the 1st unit in the 1st and 3rd quarters.

2. This year, Ratliff can actually be inserted to give Bynum a rest (LO subbing for Pau), because he is a true baller. He started several games for his former team last year, and he is still an intimidating force in the middle. Further, with LO, Barnes, and Blake, that second unit has a better chance of holding a lead than those in the past.

3. We're gunning for a three-peat. No telegraphing the management's thrust this year, as can be gleaned from the FA signings, getting Phil and Fish back and the continued interest in Shannon Brown. To ensure that the goal is achieved, management would want fresh legs for the post-season. Not immediately, of course, since you want the first team to fine-tune the play as often as you can, but I'm sure that PT will be monitored. And.... With the expected leads maintained by the second unit even by the 7-minute mark of the 4th, I don't really believe it would be necessary for the starters to reenter the game.

To summarize, yeah it will still be Pau to back-up Bynum with LO coming in to play PF. But I won't be surprised to see Ratliff with extensive PT during the course of the season.

Cheers, bro.


Hey Fatty, you know Marbury is a certifiable lunatic, right? MK was not asleep at the wheel on that one. Marbury has serious personality issues.

MM, is it true that the Lakers are shopping Sasha or is that just blog rumor?

re: text speak, it stems from the days when one had to pay by the character for texting. Unlimited texting is a more recent phenomenon. Twitter is maintaining the trend via is character limit/message.

There is, howsoever, no excuse for such lazy humbuggery.


Mark, you're no Jim Murrary..but that article was funny...

when you said "ill tell mitch wuts up thou" I cried laughing

haha thanks man - i dont think anyone is jim murray dude. but im glad you liked that article


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