Pau Gasol's hamstring: An alternate theory
Maybe that's just the way he wants it.
If I may, another potential explanation: Marketing.
What better way to ramp up buzz for his appearance on an episode of CSI: Miami, which airs November 16th?
Sure, the world is clamoring as it is to see El Spaniard sink his dientes into the role of "Victor Emparo," a video game mogul/ person of interest in a car crash investigation. The show's a hit. Pau Gasol is an athlete with an international following, particularly among Rolling Stone readers. But think about what it takes to command the entertainment and pop culture spotlight these days, even for a Laker.
Scratch that. Especially for a Laker.
Kobe Bryant is plastered all over televisions, whether watched by kids, adults and couch potatoes. Lamar Odom will undoubtedly be making appearances on a reality show- given how it stars his wife and all- when he's not busy hawking threads. Ron Artest stars in a new Internet video approximately every fifteen minutes and is a Twitter sensation. Jordan Farmar, Gasol's former co-star on NUMB3RS, recently appeared in a second episode. Luke Walton is a strong actor when matched opposite horrible soap stars. Playmates enjoy sitting on Andrew Bynum's shoulders. Sasha Vujacic landed Maria Sharapova. Derek Fisher not only crashes Kobe's talk show appearances, but has a book on shelves. Even DJ Mbenga has a publicist, so he's probably hatching something.
Internet rumors floated about an exact return date revealed during Monday's episode in shrouded, coded form. Episode promos would play up Gasol's absence from the court. (You won't be able to see Pau Gasol on the court anytime soon. But you will see him on CSI: Miami!!!) They could even crank out some last minute rewrites, scrap the "Victor Emparo" character altogether, and work Pau's hammy into the new plot. Here's a scene between Gasol and Horatio Caine (David Caruso) with "Emmy" written all over it.
Pau GasolCaine, I need your help to discover why my hamstring is slow to heal.
Horatio Caine
(Pause. Puts on his sunglasses)
Only a matter of time before your absence leaves the Lakers hamstrung.
YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Think about it. A "mysterious" injury, as Phil Jackson rather conveniently phrased it. (Between that particular lingo and the hoohah he caused with the "Christmas" remark, maybe PJ's working with Gasol in his Nielsen quest.) A television show that centers around mystery. Kismet, baby! Show biz! And should Pau happen to heal up shortly after November 16th, I'm just sayin'...
But FYI to Pau, should he land a third acting gig down the road. Another method for drumming up publicity will be necessary. We the viewing public... wait for it... won't get fooled again.
AK
Photo: Pau Gasol at an event. Credit: Photo Agency
Coach Potato is a couch potato, which is a common man like us and travels Coach class (Economy class)
Got it green dude??
Posted by: Kobefan in Cupertino | November 12, 2009 at 12:49 PM
B Scott
Was raised by Riles and that tough love approach just doesn't play like it used to. Magic ran showtime and even after 5 rings they'd had enough of Riles.
Byron got NJ into the finals, made NO a contender, but sooner or later they tune him out, especially when the team just doesn't have the horses to compete like NO this year. Still, team injuries, a limpin' CP 3 and even Peja can't hit a shot doesn't add up to Byron's fault.
Can't fire contracted players in this league, coach is the only damage control available to a frustrated owner.
Posted by: VMan | November 12, 2009 at 12:59 PM
THE BYRON SCOTT IS DONE BANDWAGON…
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
You wonder what some Lakers fans are thinking by suggesting that the purple and gold add him to their coaching staff or even consider him as a possible successor to Phil. Do they realize why Byron Scott got fired in New Orleans? Do they realize why he got fired in New Jersey? There is a definite negative pattern going on here. No X’s and O’s and his teams tune him out after the first year.
-
Let me repeat myself again: Just say no to Byron Scott as a coach. He will be lucky to ever get another chance after his last two performances. Just because he played for the Lakers is no reason to consider him as a coach. At this point, there is no way we want him on the Lakers staff.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Tom
Posted by: LakerTom | November 12, 2009 at 01:03 PM
Jon K
Never seen a CSI. 1 American Idol was enough. Bad as it is, it runs second to the video games that rule show biz.
Sports are the last respectable thing in media, unless the refs aren't giving Kobe any calls.
Shouting in the wilderness is tiring.
Posted by: VMan | November 12, 2009 at 01:10 PM
“Nice story guys, and just like Pau Gasol some years ago, I also had a series of pulled groins, and had to quit playing the sport I loved so much. What made these pulled groins even worse was the fact these groins I was puling werent even mine.
Posted by: phred | November 11, 2009 at 05:47 PM “
Um, I guess what I am going to do here is to gently point out to the person who wrote this comment that they are not phred. If you, you know, you, happen to encounter this confusing condition in the wild, stop and think about what you know about phreds. Stunningly handsome, adonislike in figure but with the wit of Odysseus, the charm of a teeny tiny little baby cutesy wootsey kitten, But with all of that, a violence, buried so deep beneath the surface that it is only recognized for what it is when it is in fact released. The false phred is usually, well, let’s just say that when the two animals happen to encounter each other in nature or perhaps in a place of business, or a place of recreation, the confusion between the two is swiftly dispelled by the shocking and frankly bone chilling fate that the pretender is dealt.
Or something like that.
Posted by: phred | November 12, 2009 at 01:17 PM
"Buck" is a racial slur?
Didn't his teammates call Magic "Buck"?
Posted by: justanothermambafan | November 12, 2009 at 01:18 PM
Mamba, Who the hell is WIZZO? I dont see me in roll call.
Posted by: RIZZO | November 12, 2009 at 01:19 PM
Green Lunatic,
Typo. Couch potato was obviously my intention. Thanks for the pick up.
AK
Posted by: Brian Kamenetzky | November 12, 2009 at 01:19 PM
**GOOD LUCK TO BYRON SCOTT BANDWAGON STARTING UP **
** ALL WHO WANT N SAY I
I!!!
--Fearless
Posted by: Fearless | November 12, 2009 at 01:21 PM
AK -
Those Youtube links were a riot. Some of those one-liners were just hilariously bad.
Frank: I don't know, he's missing from the scene. Maybe he took off.
Horatio: Or maybe ... *sunglasses*... he got taken for a ride.
YEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!
Laugh. Out. Loud..... Wow.
In your little script between Pau and Horatio, he should have put the sunglasses on after "It's only a matter of time". Otherwise, top notch work. You can be writers for CSI:Miami, easily.
Posted by: puddle | November 12, 2009 at 01:22 PM
re- the milwaukee bucks- yeah, i know. It would be completely implausible for a major athletic team to have a team name or mascot that is a racially offensive term.
http://tinyurl.com/y8b54sr
actually, i think the Bucks get away from it because it obviously refers to the animal. Also the term is a bit outdated, but if you call a black person or a native person of an earlier generation a 'young buck,' you are probably not going to make them happy.
Posted by: phred | November 12, 2009 at 01:22 PM
Sorry - wuttup CRUE! Missed the morning... yadda yadda yadda ... had to work... lol
Mamba24 - add me to the Byron bandwagon. Just make sure it doesn't say anything about him being our next coach, ok? Maybe assistant, but not sure he'd take that.... Who's to say? Stranger things have happened....
GAME DAY BABY!!! Yeahhhh!!!
The Funs are trying to be the Division upstarts, but I do believe they've got another think coming. They've never met a fast break they didn't like, but they don't know what DEFENSE means. And we do. And defense wins championships. Should be fun! All we need to do is slow Nash down a bit and guard the 3 point line.
Butt-ler boy!!! Where are you???? Oh - I know - you're waiting until after the game to see if you'll show your face on here again, right?? Chicken.
See y'all on the live chat!
GO LAKERS!!!
Nothing but another title will suffice.
Posted by: justanothermambafan | November 12, 2009 at 01:25 PM
Mamba Whats up with the "Bring back Scott bandwagon"?
Posted by: RIZZO | November 12, 2009 at 01:26 PM
Thanks for the reply BK, perhaps our Barcelona bloggers could shed some enlightenment on that subject.
Too bad for Byron, he got the wrong turn with this team. Suddenly, the marquee players like Peja, West, Posey, Okafor became old dudes and forgot how to play passionate basketball. Sucks happen to any team ask RudyTomja when he quit on the Lakers. It's a win-win situation for the fans of the Hornets to change course and get fresh coaching, the front office should try to change personnel too.
Will Byron succeed in LA? Well, it is too soon. He might pass this year and get himself rehab from coaching miseries. No team would like to be identified with a coach who was recently fired. I'm sure Byron could redeem himself in the broadcasting booth and by 2010, there will be a team out there who will rebuild with Byron. You never know it might be back to the Nets who will be playing in Brooklyn, NY. Byron sent them to the Finals in '01.
Posted by: Edwin Gueco | November 12, 2009 at 01:30 PM
For everyone clammering on about "buck" as being a racial slur....
Perhaps Magic Johnson should retroactively beat the crud out of his former team mates.
Where would the Lakers be without Buck?
Posted by: Tim-4-Show | November 12, 2009 at 01:34 PM
AK - thanks, that's what I figured. But since it was in BLUE, I thought it might be a new word- trying to stay current as a HS teacher, aight? (which I guess is "alright")
Posted by: Giant Green Bald-Headed Lunatic | November 12, 2009 at 01:34 PM
I swear, the coach of the year award is cursed - everyone knows it.
Look at the history of the award. Del Harris? Canned.
D'Antoni? Canned.
Avery? Canned.
Scott? Canned.
Brown? Canned... oh wait, that hasn't happened yet. This list goes on and on.
I'm with Laker Tom on B Scott here. Head coach? No way. Assistant? Maybe, but I'm no where near convinced it would be a good idea
Posted by: Tim-4-Show | November 12, 2009 at 01:41 PM
VMan,
"Shouting in the wilderness is tiring."
I know how you feel, brother.
I constantly feel the urge to scream, "THE EMPEROR WEARS NO CLOTHES!" as the general public politely applauds his "uniform."
The stuff out there that masquerades as quality is just appauling.
What do we play for? RINGS!!!!
Lakers Today... Lakers Tomorrow... Lakers Forever.
GO LAKERS!!!
Posted by: Jon K. | November 12, 2009 at 01:43 PM
Puddle,
"Wow. In your little script between Pau and Horatio, he should have put the sunglasses on after "It's only a matter of time". Otherwise, top notch work. You can be writers for CSI:Miami, easily."
Dude, good call! That would have been a nice touch.
AK
Posted by: Andrew Kamenetzky | November 12, 2009 at 01:44 PM
phred -
I guess the term is so antiquated, I never heard it. Certainly no offense was intended. Glad to know for future reference though.
Posted by: puddle | November 12, 2009 at 01:50 PM
1000% agree with Laker Tom. Just say no to B Scott. His players end up hating him after a year or two.
Posted by: Bopper | November 12, 2009 at 01:50 PM
Tim-4-Show,
"D'Antoni? Canned.
Avery? Canned.
Scott? Canned.
Brown? Canned..."
Niedermayer? Canned.
Didn't you know? Byron Scott was on double-secret probation.
Posted by: exhelodrvr | November 12, 2009 at 01:59 PM
Don't you mean a "phalse phred"?
Posted by: exhelodrvr | November 12, 2009 at 02:00 PM
Tim, you're also forgetting about COY from Toronto. I forgot his name? Davis?
Posted by: never | November 12, 2009 at 02:03 PM
I'm with Laker Tom. Therefore starting the "Just Say No to Byron Scott" band wagon.
JUST SAY "NO" TO BYRON SCOTT BANDWAGON
Laker Tom - Owner & Driver
Rick Friedman - Riding Shotgun
Who's with us?
Posted by: Rick Friedman | November 12, 2009 at 02:12 PM
*
*GODSPEED TO BYRON SCOTT(Laker for Life) – BANDWAGON
*
(01) NEVER – OWNER - Godspeed to Byron Scott. I guess it's hard being a coach these days
(02) EASTCOASTJESSIE- DRIVER - I'm in Mamba. Byron's a great coach...he could only do so much with what he had I have no idea what happened to those guys.
(03) XYZ – RIDING SHOTGUN - good luck to byron scott
(04) # 4 - Come on home Byron. Its time you become an assistant coach on the Laker bench.
(05) BILLY in SLO - Could B Scott become a Laker Asst. Coach? Is there a vacancy due to Kurt leaving?
Just thinking. LA was the only state that agrees with the decision, while CA is in strong support of B Scott.
(06) SIR CHARLES - Good Luck Sir Scott.
(07) The Hoops Freak (a.k.a. Pig Miller) - After this season, PJ will retire, and Byron will be the Lakers coach next season. Don't worry, Kobe is like a player coach anyway, and he has a great relationship with BScott. He'll always be a Laker great.
(08) LAKER JUSTICE - BOOOOOO Hornets! Coach of the year to fired 1.1 years. There has to be some hyperbole on that scale or man the Lakers really can do some serious damage! :). Lakers definitely need to sign Byron to something.
(09) KOBEFAN IN CUPERTINO - Hornets fire Byron... poor guy!!
(10) THIRTY2 - So they trade the starting center and the one they replace him with misses the complete pre-season and scores 2 points a game and then the coach gets fired...
(11) JON K - Byron Scott will always be a Laker, but he seems to get pitted against his players after a few years. I don't know what that's all about.
(12) Mamba24Fan4Life - It's been a long time since my last post, but I hope that we hire Byron. he's a Laker for life and was Kobe's mentor, beside the fact that the man still have a Laker room in his house. Gimme Byron as an assistant coach we'll have more chances of repeating. Mamba from the eastcoast
(13) VMAN - Byron got NJ into the finals, made NO a contender, but sooner or later they tune him out, especially when the team just doesn't have the horses to compete like NO this year. Still, team injuries, a limpin' CP 3 and even Peja can't hit a shot doesn't add up to Byron's fault.
(14) FEARLESS - **GOOD LUCK TO BYRON SCOTT BANDWAGON STARTING UP **
** ALL WHO WANT N SAY I II!!!
(15) JUSTANOTHERMAMBAFAN - Mamba24 - add me to the Byron bandwagon. Just make sure it doesn't say anything about him being our next coach, ok? Maybe assistant, but not sure he'd take that.... Who's to say? Stranger things have happened....
(16)
Posted by: MAMBA24 | November 12, 2009 at 02:21 PM
Ahahahahahaa! Byron Scott gets canned before even I thought he would get the boot. Guess that Clipper game bought him a few more days... you guys STILL want Scott to coach the Lakers? This is his pattern, the players stop listening to him. I think he should go coach a major college program for awhile, you can't treat NBA players like children but... you CAN treat college players like children...
Next up, Dunleavy...
Posted by: Porky Pig | November 12, 2009 at 02:24 PM
As much as I appreciate Byron, there's no way he should be hired by the Lakers. Brian Shaw is Phil's heir apparent, due to his popularity among the players and his experience with the triangle. Byron has neither of these two qualities. The Laker players see what's happening with the Hornets, so how does one expect them to respect Byron? Also, why would the team change its philosophy midstream after a run of Finals appearances and Championships? If Phil leaves after this season, the team will just hire BShaw and keep all of the assistants. Why not continue a winning tradition?
Posted by: The Dude Abides | November 12, 2009 at 02:25 PM
Pau's girlfriend is a Brazilian model named Novia.
Posted by: giantsquid | November 12, 2009 at 02:30 PM
AK -
I hope you heard the entire blog give up a collective OUT FREAKING STANDING!!!!!
I hope you don't accept a job writing for TV, cuz we'd miss you.
Posted by: justanothermambafan | November 12, 2009 at 02:47 PM
Up to the date injury report;
Bynum; shoulder(likely)
Gasol; hamstring(out)
Farmar; heart(questionable)
Posted by: rl | November 12, 2009 at 03:03 PM
Good afternoon, Mamba. I seem to be missing in the last few roll calls. I look forward to them everyday or gameday. Please restore me,...I'm getting a complex.
Posted by: HoustonLaker | November 12, 2009 at 03:04 PM
I get a feeling that Roger Daltrey's "Won't Get Fooled Again" apex scream is now a permenant part of Laker Nation's lexicon.
Game Day.
YEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!
What do we play for? RINGS!!!!
Lakers Today... Lakers Tomorrow... Lakers Forever.
GO LAKERS!!!!
Posted by: Jon K. | November 12, 2009 at 03:16 PM
Didn't you know? Byron Scott was on double-secret probation. Posted by: exhelodrvr | November 12, 2009 at 01:59 PM
ROFLMAO! STOP THAT EX! STOP THAT RIGHT NOW! LOL!!
Posted by: MAMBA24 | November 12, 2009 at 03:26 PM
JonK -
Game Day.
YEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!
______________
Dude - that's perfect.
Posted by: justanothermambafan | November 12, 2009 at 03:58 PM
"D'Antoni? Canned.
Avery? Canned.
Scott? Canned.
Brown? Canned..."
Niedermayer? Canned. - EX
~~What's next? they'd become canned goods. lol!
Posted by: Edwin Gueco | November 12, 2009 at 04:00 PM
No offense taken, puddle, it just sort of struck me when I read it. I don't really see the the word used much. And yeah, maybe Magic should be a little upset-
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/Buck
anyhoo, i didn't mean to make a big deal about it, it was just something i noticed and it bothered me. I figured I'd talked to puddle enough so he wouldn't think i was busting him or trying to start something.
Posted by: phred | November 12, 2009 at 04:07 PM
Thanks, Giant Squid. She must be gorgeous, any pictures out there.
Tonight, it will be:
Drew vs. Amare
Steve vs. Derek-Shannon-Jordan combined
Kobe vs. Grant
Ron-ron vs. Jason
LO vs. Frye
I say Lakers secret weapon is Mbenga. If mbenga gets into those blocks and rebounds, it will be the setting of the Suns.
Posted by: Edwin Gueco | November 12, 2009 at 04:08 PM
on Byron scott- I'm with LakerTom on this one. He hasn't really been a successful coach anywhere. He inherited a great team in NJ with a very good veteran PG, and he just happened to get a guy named Chris Paul in NO. Both teams basically quit on him.
It definitely wasn't his fault that NO wasn't going to be very good, they don't have much talent or depth, and they definitely didn't help themselves this summer. But the team was obviously not giving him their best efforts. I think I knew Scott was doomed at least since their loss to Denver in the playoffs last year. I've never seen a team give up so completely.
I mean, heck, who has more talent, NO or Houston?
Posted by: phred | November 12, 2009 at 04:12 PM
On the whole Byronn Scott coaching the lakers ... I say he can have the job if he gets cp3 to sign on the dotted line and rock purple and gold.
Posted by: segeboy fka taliq | November 12, 2009 at 04:34 PM
(15) JUSTANOTHERMAMBAFAN - Mamba24 - add me to the Byron bandwagon. Just make sure it doesn't say anything about him being our next coach, ok? Maybe assistant, but not sure he'd take that.... Who's to say? Stranger things have happened....
You do remember that assistant coaches get promoted to head coaches every now and then. Just saying.
Posted by: segeboy fka taliq | November 12, 2009 at 04:36 PM
I've got it - Pau Gasol in "Nosferatu A Venezia" (new sequel). Tell me it's not brilliant casting.
Posted by: dave m | November 12, 2009 at 04:38 PM
It's a good day to kill a phoenix people ... tomorrow they can rise from their ashes and we can look forward to killing them again and again and again
I do hope nash maintains his supposedly 2time mvp form (i.e. 2 some of us if stockton never got an mvp, nash has no business claiming one either) ... it'll make each defeat hurt that much more ... that up 3-1 playoff series only to lose 4-3 eventually pretty much gurantees that I'll hate steve nash till the day i die ...
Posted by: segeboy fka taliq | November 12, 2009 at 04:44 PM
JUST SAY "NO" TO BYRON SCOTT BANDWAGON
Posted by: NBA4ever | November 12, 2009 at 05:10 PM
LOL!
This was a GREAT post
Posted by: CassavaLeaf | November 12, 2009 at 05:13 PM
Byron is a student of Riley, he burns teams out, both physically and mentally. I like Byron, just too old school for modern players.
Posted by: mike | November 12, 2009 at 05:18 PM
Overusing the term "racist" trivializes genuine racism.
Posted by: Buck Rogers | November 12, 2009 at 05:19 PM
I got it! Let's get Byron in here as special assistant to the point guards so they'll stop making stupid decisions with the ball. DFish and Farmer have got to stop jacking up 3's when there's noone down low to get the rebound. Just wait and set up a play, shooters in this order: Drew, Pau, Thriller, the other guard, and if noone gets a clear shot, give it to 24 and get outta da way!!! Of course, that shows why I'm not the coach. I'm just sayin.....
Posted by: camdog | November 12, 2009 at 05:25 PM
Tom, Rick, Phred and others... I would definitely join the "just say no to Byron" wagon. No malice, just don't see him as the one.
Posted by: dave m | November 12, 2009 at 06:47 PM
Nothing about the NBA is real.
Posted by: Ken | November 12, 2009 at 09:27 PM