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Check your mail, Ron Ron

October 4, 2009 | 11:17 am
Ever since Ron Artest and his controversial NBA past became part of the Laker's present, there's been speculation a-plenty about who'll emerge the force keeping the small forward in check?  Will it be Phil Jackson, certainly no stranger to the art of reigning in eccentric/volatile personalities?  Kobe Bryant, the ultimate alpha male and the frequent target of Ron Ron's hero worship?  Derek Fisher, a vet who commands respect from even the biggest of superstar teammates?  Lamar Odom, Artest's buddy since childhood?  DJ Mbenga, something of an intimidating martial arts bad ass?  Well, add another name to the list of prospective calming forces:

Kyle Slavin.

The Second Coming's host recently penned an open letter to Artest about the importance of minding his P's and Q's while donning purple and gold.  In a nutshell, Slavin presents Ron's Laker stint as the best opportunity to define the story of his career.  Or rather edit that story's pages, what with all the missteps that have overshadowed Artest's work as one of the decade's best two-way players.  An early paragraph from Slavin sets a very clear tone:

    Let me be absolutely clear: you absolutely cannot mess this season up. You fail here, and you will never redeem your career again. You ruin this good thing we have going in LA, and the rest of your basketball days will be tarnished by it. In LA, we fans run deep. We know our basketball, we know our history, and we have more than a passing interest in the Lake Show. We will be here longer than you. We have more influence than you. Win us over, and you will be a Hall of Famer. Lose our faith, and you will never see this level of love again.

Sounds about right.  So there's one letter to a Laker, which got me thinking.  If y'all decided to type an opus to another member of the roster, what would you say and to which player?  Or would you just pick up where Slavin left off and tack on a little more for Artest's reading pleasure?

Thanks to True Hoop for the heads up.