Why covering the NBA is better in Los Angeles

repost- hey, I worked on this for like an hour.

Man, I had a great ol time reading this thread. A good long off day of good points, less good points, and earnest and respectful discussion. makes me proud to be a laker fan. Of course, I don't post very often, except during game chat, as I neve seem to be able to make as good a point as people routinely throw out. But I did want to make an effort, so this is my contribution, written lovingly and without malice. just for y'alls reading enjoyment. I will repost on a later thread for anyone who doesn't read all the way down on this here. If anyone feels offended or put out, please remember the two greatest lines of wisdom from two of humanity's greatest philosopher's "Do unto other's as you would have them do unto you" -Jesus, and "F*(^ em if they can't take a joke" Willie Nelson.

I think that almost all of us can sympathize with the K Bros for the staggering and mind-bending task of reading each and every post on this blog before they can be cleared for post. I have, in fact, noticed that nearly 45.6% (made up statistic alert) of their thread leads are dedicated at least in part to a combination of sarcastic observation, concise analysis and pleas for reason reminiscent of Kevin Spacey’s character in “The Negotiator” aimed at the ridiculous number of blog members like the schizoid-paranoid denunciations of players, coaches and sundry from tin foil hat wearers. The morbid and dire predictions of doom and gloom from apocalyptic foretellers. And vague questions from otherwise well-meaning Lakers fans about possibly imaginary characteristics derived from Survivor songs that may be lacking from our beloved Lakers, the absence of which could doom us all to another year without an O’Brien Trophy.

And worst of all, of course, the predictable loose stool effluent that overflows the levees of good sense after each and every (thankfully rare) loss. If the Lakers lose to an inferior team, this is proof that they lack the killer intensity and focus required. If they lose to a “rival western power” or Stern forbid an “Eastern conference powerhouse” this is proof that they will never surmount the last bastion defending the crown against all good teams and their Stern-fearing fans.

So, in an altruistic effort to help the much overworked K Bros, and perhaps spare many of the rest of us blog crew the eyeball strain, and aided by the predictability of some of the more distinguished purveyors of post- loss-dreck, I have prepared an easy, one size fits all summation of blog posts, with a Cliffs Notes inspired accessibility for reading comfort.

phred’s ULTIMATE POST LOSS GUIDE TO A “TROLL, TROLL-LIKE OR JUST ANNOYING” LAKERS BLOG POSTER.
(In no particular order)

THE BUTLER
Man, that game showed how the Lakers have a long way to go before they can reach the levels of the suns and the big game-skipper. I was cheering for the lakers after their last 12 wins in a row, but since that one loss, I am going to point out how glad I am to be a Suns fan. Cause the Suns rock. Not, you know, in the standings, but you know, karmically.
P.S. Can I still post here during the lakers wins? Cause otherwise I get lonely.

THE CELTICS FAN
HA HA you [expletive deleted] Fakers fans. You just lost to a team that isn’t nearly as good as the Celtics, or the actual Celtics, and you suck. I am glad that my team has enabled me to forget the overall pathetic nature of my life, and I look down on the rest of you. And Paul Pierce is not only much better than Kobe, he, KG and Ray Allen, or possibly Kendrick Perkins if this occurs during one of the 12 weeks of the season that Ray Allen misses due to injuries stemming from his rapidly aging knees, could beat Michael Jordan, Wilt, and Jesus Christ in a game of three on three. Yeah, you [expletive deleted] fakers fans, you suck.

THE KOREY
This game showed us why the lakers are soft; they play without effort, and all those other games they won due to dumb luck. They need to cut pau, Lamar, Drew, DFish, Jordan, Vlad, The Machine, and if that doesn’t work, Kobe. Then they need to replace them with “hard” players that come to play every night and never lose a game. I’m sure they are all over the place. Frankly, I’m kind of disappointed in Mitch for not being able to sign more of them, they’re so damn common. The only player that can’t be cut is Luke, because then I would be completely out of people to blame after a loss.

THE never/troy/passionate lakers fan AFTER A FEW STIFF ONES
We are terrible. My god. I think we will never win again, and Jerry Buss will have to start selling pencils on the street. I can’t believe how bad we suck. There are YMCA kid’s leagues teams that would put 120 on us. Sweat merciful crap, anybody who considers this team to be worth rooting for should be institutionalized for their own protection. I hate watching this team play. Frankly, I hate basketball. My wife and kids constantly have to punch holes in the plastic bag I put over my head whenever I think about this team. God we are terrible.

THE NEIL (CAN BE CONVERTED TO A “GUNNER” BY CAPITALIZING ALL LETTERS)
We lost this game because of Kobe. He both hogged the ball and shot way too much, or he refused to play with any aggression at all. And he kept passing the ball to others players and yelling at them when they missed shots, or made shots for that matter. Or he didn’t give them any feedback after a play. And then he wouldn’t pass the ball at all and just kept jacking up shots from the other end of the court before the shot clock even started. His selfishness and simultaneous inability to discern when exactly he should take over the game and shoot on every possession is the only factor keeping us from winning every game this year. And don’t get me started on those air balls in Utah in his rookie season.

THE KL BEAST
RAWR! GRUNT! KL BEAST SMASH!

THE PFUNK/CHUCK23/COMPTON’S FINEST/GENERIC PHIL LOATHER
Phil’s monstrous ego and inability to coach during a game is killing us. Literally every substitution he made was wrong. When Vlad was playing well, he took him out and put in a cold player. When Vlad was playing well and he didn’t take him out and he then missed two shots in a row, that killed us. Phil! Take a time out! Take a time out! Put Fisher in! No, not now!, it’s too late, don’t take a time out! Why did you take Farmar out and put in Fisher? He was just getting hot! I should coach this team! I’m sure the players wouldn’t bludgeon me to death with the Gatorade cooler, at least not for a couple of quarters!

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST
THE MIKE T.
I will list twenty-two possessions that I have scrupulously recorded during the Laker’s four losses in their last twenty five games. In each possession I will outline clearly why that fool’s gold Andrew Bynum lacked the physicality and general calf tone to defend against dominant post players. I’m not going to do that, now, but I could. I will then give examples from the twenty- two minutes of actual basketball that Kwame played in the last twelve Piston’s games where he performed defensive maneuvers that Bynum and Gasol couldn’t dream of on their best day. I mean, I won’t, but I could, and will at some point. Just wait.

There, I hope that helped y’all. You guys can just copy and paste those in instead of wasting time writing it out after every loss. If I missed anybody, be sure and let me know, and I’ll do what I can.

SERIOUSLY THOUGH, THIS WAS A LABOR OF LOVE.
I LOVE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU, TRUE LAKERS FANS THAT YOU ARE (WELL, EXCEPT THE C’S FANS AND BUTLER)

IT IS ALL ABOUT THE LOVE

GO LAKERS

Wow....

On the AZcentral blogs (a place where the drama of "The Sky is falling" and we will never win another title truly belongs) someone called Trevor:

The 2nd coming of Pippen.

LOL!

Defense maybe. Taking over games as a 1st option (which Pip did) and running the offense is a whole new issue.

Glad though Suns fans are complimenting our players.

-blitz

they said Magic's team was too soft because they tried to win by playing better basketball than you, too.

Korey, that's fuax blog hard, which is the softest softie. the game is basketball, not basketbrawl, to use the old cliche. oh! rip the shirt!

yes, i like the hard foul, but no, i don't like seeing players get hurt over stupid posturing either. i don't like suspensions and flagrants either. they do more harm to the team than good.

i have seen this team be a little overly exhuberent, and i have seen them get bored and i've even seen them have one of those days when you just can't quite get it together. i've also seen them work very hard to be a better team than everyone else. i also haven't seen them shy away from PHYSICAL play.

in fact, the lack of PHYSICAL play was not what really killed them the other night. it was lazy passes and poor free throw shooting.

wake up! other teams can get hot too if you're a little jet lagged. the thing is, they still controlled the game. two less missed free throws, one less lazy pass and the end would have been different. they lost. get over it.

YOU who complain when things are good and there's a minor setback, are the softest ones! grow up! it will be ok, be a harder fan, be a rock, unmovable and unshakable in the idea that now that Kobe has had his freak out, that the Lakers organization is once more focused on just one thing, winning championships, huzzzah!

see, it's a good thing to bring up problems, but it's another to obsess on them(if you can fix them, fix them, if not get hard and face the fact). NONE of the bloggers here can even think of competing at that level(NBA performer). your opinions don't matter, except for our own general amusement, and whether we spend money on, and pay attention to this game.

now that i've obsessed over the insane buzz of LA and the lack of reality in the general group mind, i hope you all see how obnoxious this type of behavior is.

the end.

http://tinyurl.com/6c63l7

let Kobe tell you a thing or two about what he is thinking.(approved of by the company itself, i.e. "the official story")

Korey,

I'm sure phred had good intentions but hey everyone's entitled to their opinion. What the hell am I doing writing this piece 1 in the morning?? I have to go.

p.s. I was actually one of the first names to be mentioned in the roll call. I don't know why my name if further on the list. Oh well, I'm still here. Just wanted to point it out.

http://lakersblog.latimes.com/lakersblog/2007/07/rumors-and-hous.html

check out one of the earlier roll calls. I was one of the first ones to be listed!wooooooo

Good Morning Charles, Crue, JustAnotherMambaFan
GAME DAY! Quick win, get in get the win and get out.
Very brief Roll call at about 9:00 I doubt if the Chaplain
will even give a prayer for this game he's kind of busy
doing mundane thaings like trying to survive in this crumbling
world like the all of us. See yall at about 9:00
THAT IS ALL
Larry(Mamba24)

Mornin Fam. Game day is here and I hope we finish this short trip 2-1.

Good morning Mamba24, Charles & the fabulous Laker morning CRUE!!!!!

IT's GAME DAY BABY!!!!!!!!

Mamba24 - you're right - get in, get 'er done, get out!!!

Phred - LOL at your post!! Good stuff! Although I do want to point out that MOST of us need a stiff drink after a loss, and more than who you've mentioned actually imbibe - lol!

I'm looking forward to the game tonight, and I think there really are only a couple of keys to getting the W:
1. Make the free throws
2. Make the free throws
3. Play with energy & focus from the start
4. Don't gamble too much on D
5. Did I mention make the free throws??

GO LAKERS!!!!!!!!

Good morning Lakers friends!

Its game day! Yeah baby!

Phred -

As one who likes to push the limits of blog posting, I salute you for your effort. You were creative, followed a thought through, and brought it to fruition on the blog. (Make mental note, mark Phred down for possible Fatty award)

A suggestion: Normally I find to be the most creative, you have to down a couple glasses of Scotch. Lately, I've been exploring creativity through pain killers and muscle relaxants. (see ALL Fatty posts last 2-3 months)

A warning: Going after other bloggers though, shows me, you must be into S, M and BT. Sado, Masochistic, and Blog Torture. Trust me, its worse than 'Water Boarding'. Unless you enjoy that sort of thing, you might want to tackle something easier like going after the Celtics or my favorite, the Phoenix Suns.

Just some thoughts. Looking forward to your next adventure in posting.

Now if you will excuse me for a minute. I've got a Brain-Wave message coming in from Vlad.

Actually, that picture is very familiar to me. There are more people there than there were at the Celtics games just a year ago.

Tonights game shud be a thumpin!

I hope we win cuz I really don't feel like calming the poor souls who never post unless we lose

kobeblitz,

http://tinyurl.com/6c9bpo

I think you might want to read this article about Trevor
Ariza.

- "What I most remember about Trevor back then is his gifted athletic ability," Bertka said. "You look for certain skills, certain abilities in a player, whether it's a center or a power forward or whatever. If I had to create what I would classify as a pure three, it's Trevor Ariza, with his size, speed, quickness and defensive ability."

- Thanks to Ariza's emergence as an athletic scorer and lockdown defender this season

- General Manager Mitch Kupchak said. "The only weakness in his game was his ability to shoot the ball consistently, and he's improved in that."

- "I've seen Trevor practice, and he has a lot in his bag that he hasn't shown you," Bryant said. "When he came here he'd have wide-open shots that he'd pass up because he was conditioned not to shoot them. Credit to him for getting in the gym this summer, working on his skills, his footwork and his outside shot."

*giggle* LOL

I think with Ariza on Pierce, at the end of the game, &
Bynum in at Center, we can take the Celtics.

Go Lakers!

mrbarneydangles

I hope the scope was kind to you.

Get better soon and do a good job on the PT and you will back to your old self in no time.

Lakers experiment I would like to see. Some high pik n' roll with Kobe and LO. Both have the ability to go the basket, shoot from the outside, and read the D for a nice pass to an open guy.

mrbarneydangles hope you feel better.

Morning Everyone!

Who's gonna guard Rondo???? He's is very much a key to neutralizing that hated team in Green!

Korey and Mike T I think you should give Phred an award for mentioning your names, while it may sound sarcastic and unkind to your opinion, It is deliriously funny w/o malice at all w/ Korey tit for a tat on live blog and posting duel with Mike. It is well written, very creative and another masterpiece post.

Anybody here have knowledge about the whereabouts of Guity and Weave man, I don't see their postings anymore. Guity is another creative poster.