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The Maricopa County Police ask Shaq how their posterior tastes

June 24, 2008 |  1:56 pm

If I've learned anything from my addiction to "The Shield," it's that a cop can get away with beating suspects, protecting drug dealers in exchange for a taste of the profits, skimming cash from seizures, ripping off a money laundering ring, or even killing a fellow officer.  But if there's one thing Detective Vic Mackey and his Strike Team can't pull off, it's using inappropriate language while freestyling for a club crowd

Let that be a lesson for all budding po-po. 

AK


The comments to this entry are closed.

Comments

Copy editing FOR THE WIN.

Pretty sure you didn't mean to link to the Shield twice. I mean, I know you guys like the show A LOT, but come on....;)

Wow...that didn't take long. Looks like the beginning of the end of The Big Mouth's tenure in Phoenix.

Like I said...PAYBACK IS A DOG!

am i the first to say it?

K Bros.,

how 'bout them report cards? (I love those things)

Jeff,

Actually, I do like the show that much, but it was indeed an error. Fixed it.

Thanks for the pick up.

AK

Repost

Fire32,
"You here that Charles, I said WE"RE."
I don't HERE anything. I may HEAR outside of the blog. But I READ what's on the blog. Besides who cares about what other people think. Like I have mentioned it is blog fodder and it's sports talk. Check the headers and the links on the topic thread. Just like you don't like name callin, maybe some people don't like you callin out name callin. Have a good one.

Pig,
Feels like it's molasses seeping till 102.

NickD,
Thanks for the link.

RobD,
Great post.

justanothamabafromanothamotha,
"At least there's some Team USA b-ball coming up to keep us loose before pre-season LOL!"
Agreed.

BD,
Where do you get that info for Walton-Odom for Marion-Banks? If you have a link...Or is it just a suggestion?

Regards Guys,

Posted by: Charles | June 24, 2008 at 02:17 PM

Shaquille O'Neil

The Big "Oops"

Shaq's insecurities are so apparent, it hardly warrants an analysis by me.

Eddie's right. All this talk about old, fat, divorced, washed up wannabe rappers who can't get out of the first round of the Playoffs has delayed the Year-End Report Cards. Back on topic, y'all!

I think i just saw Bo and Daisy duke in front of Shaqs house..
And wait a second is that Rosco Peeko ..?

You don't spit into the wind

You don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger

And...

You don't mess around with Sheriff Joe

Its the racial slurs that got him, the language was secondary.

"But I was just fooling!"

"Lakers wall of honor has no room for fools and people that hate and dishonor the Lakers."
- Lakers wall of honor code

Edwin Gueco,

Actully, I wasn't talking about Colorado. I was just referring to what, I think, a lot of what NBA players think of Kobe.

Kobe wants to be part of the NBA crowd so he does his Colorado thing. But then he spills on Shaq, which led to Shaq's wife cheating on Shaq. That led to the Shaq divorce.

But what I wrote about Kobe and Shaq in my last post was about what NBA players think about Kobe. He's not well like, I think. That doesn't mean he isn't the best player in the NBA...I just means that he got caught in the middle of two ideas.

1. Wanting to be part of the NBA in crowd. (Colorado)
2. Wanting to be the best NBA player ever. (His demand for a trade last year.)

He just doesn't have the personality or intelligence to pull both off.

mike t.

Discretion is not the better part of Shaq.

Anyone else ever wondered what sort of Black man wants to become a cop? Especially what sort of rich, famous athlete that would take a financial loss to do it...

Nice bit of integrity shown by the Sheriff Joe Arpaio.
Mr. O'Neal. "Can you dig it?"

I doubt it.

We still have to make time to discuss our #58 draft pick.

Draft is coming up on Thursday.

This is funny. I forgot about the finals already...

Shaq's becoming a buffoon. To bad, he's a Hall of Famer and one of the best centers ever. Undeniably.

But I do think he's just playing the dozens and I believe him that he was just having fun. Boasting and taunting is a part of rap. This has all gotten out of hand though.

Still, he's such a hypocrite.

I just hope no one hands Kobe a mic anytime soon!

jq,

Kobe is worse than Shaq behind the mic. I mean Shaq is already pretty bad... Except for the one track with Common, Black Thought, produced by Jdilla.

You go Sheriff!

Shaq has always loved his attention, and it is getting more and more difficult for him to obtain the amount he craves. But he has begun the process of being beaten into submission by age and reality. If that doesn't kill him, it should make him a better person...

Holy Cow... Is that Mike T.??..

LoL... Only when we lost... Homeboy comes back...

Musta been hard huh Mike??

Reading through all the positives... Now that we ended negatively... U show up again...

Dude... Go back to the hole u were in the past year... Ur stupid remarks don't belong here..

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that by now Kobe has seen Shaq's new video. I wonder what his true reaction is like.

Go get 'em Kobe, put that in your hard drive and get him back on the floor. Sick him Kobe!

(Of-course this is assuming that Kobe has seen the video)

Colorado loves the Lakers!

Fatty, Draft Talk Brother!

JR Giddens is predicted.

Strengths: JR is a freakish athlete that shoots the 3 well. He plays with a lot of heart and enthusiasm. He is a good rebounder and has shown a propensity for getting offensive rebounds and quick putbacks under the basket. Is listed at 6'5 but plays bigger because of his long arms and excellent jumping ability. He's a pretty good defender. JR gets excellent lift on his jump shot making it very difficult to block.

Weaknesses: Has not yet shown the ability to drive to the basket. But this is probably due to the fact that he is either dunking in alley-oops or shooting three's for the Jayhawks. His mid-range game must be an area of focus. Not a selfish player, but also is not a natural distributor of the basketball.

Notes: Has won a couple different dunk contests already. JR was a Mcdonalds All-American and probably would have won that dunk contest had it not been for some guy named LeBron... Won co-MVP honors (Along with Team USA player Deron Williams) at the 2003 Global Games, he also won that tournaments dunk contest. JR was an excellent track athlete in high school and cleared 6 feet 10 inches in a high jump competition. Was the first runner-up for the Mr. Basketball title as a senior in high school but the award was actually won by current KU teammate Jeremy Case.

utzworld THE BANNER HOLDER

Payback is a Mic!

I never thought I'd find myself responding to a Mike T. comment, mostly because I thought Mike T. was gone for good. Alas, it's come to this.

Mike, your comments about Kobe's intelligence and personality are markedly off-base. I would wager everything I own that he's a lot smarter than you.

For one thing, Kobe doesn't presume to speak for the entire NBA. It's hard for me to imagine that you can even begin to know what "a lot" of NBA players think about Kobe.

Secondly, your suggestion that Kobe is somehow trapped between two worlds is ludicrous. It's a beautifully poetic idea that means, well, nothing. Empty words. As I sometimes tell my freshman composition students, be careful not to write things that don't have actual meaning.

Kobe is not the media hound that Shaq is, plain and simple. That doesn't mean that he is void of personality. It simply means that he doesn't "play" to the cameras or the media in the same way that Shaq does. The truth is that you don't have any idea what type of personality Kobe possesses, and neither do I.

Regards,

jq,

"This has all gotten out of hand though."

I think that's what Michael Richards said after his last comedy show.

I get it, in old school rap it was just getting up and dissing someone (usually someone in the audience, no?), this is when they'd do battle... well, in Shaq's case, there was no one there to defend themself, and so he disses Patrick Ewing, Kareem, and Kobe?

Wow.

Shaq shot the Sheriff...

Hugo,

I wonder if Staples will run an edited version of the rap the first time the Funs come to town...

Can you imagine that, and there's Kareem sitting behind the bench?

Pitiful.

Fatty,

More on JR Giddens.

Scouting Report: A highly decorated wing player with NBA athleticism.

Strengths: Great athlete – track athlete in high school also. Crazy vertical – reportedly 40” or more. Strong finisher – attacks the rim, dunks on people. Nice elevation & extension on his jumper. Exceptional rebounder for a guard. Long arms. Strong physique. Big time scorer in college. Decent assist man. Shot for a great percentage for a guard – 51.6% this year. Gets into the passing lanes for steals. Great shot-blocker for a guard.

Weaknesses: Age – is already 23-years-old. Horrible free throw shooter. Had off-court issues in college. Had attitude issues in the past. Needs to improve on his ball-handling for the NBA. Still inconsistent. Defense still needs improvement. Needs to become a more consistent three-point shooter for the NBA.

Projected 2008 Draft Range: Early to mid second round pick.

Consensus: Giddens has all the tools to be an NBA pro. However, the fact that he is up to four years older than other prospects and has had a shady past casts a shadow on his draft stock.

Shady Past... *sigh* Marcus Douthit (spelling) 2 guard version.

Shaq is not "becoming" a buffoon; he has always been one. It's just that everyone put up with it (and his poor conditioning and unwillingness to improve his game) because he was such a good basketball player. But now that is starting to leave him, and people are suddenly "discovering" what Shaq is really like.


Shaq defrocked.

Sheriff Joe has given me the best Bday present ...

Payback is best served cold.

Now this, is truly funny. Shaq's rapping skills, isn't.

Just when I think I'm out for the summer....They pull me back in!!! LOL If Shaq has done anything positive it's been to arouse the blog during the off season lull!! What he did only solidifies what we already knew, that he's still an overgrown child. When could we ever take this guy seriously, maybe from 1999-2000, when he played the role as Team Leader, but I think that's about it. The thing that's bugged me is whether or not we should retire #34.

I was all for it, but comments relating to "Honor and Loyalty" to the franchise made me think twice. The names of the I guys I grew up watching Magic, Kareem, Worthy, I know, exemplify these words with regards to their image for the franchise. I never saw the others play, but who second guesses West's loyalty and honor? I've only heard good things about Gail and Elgin, but the one guy I have to second guess is Chaimberlain.

I know he's one of the greatest of all time, but I don't remember him as being honorable or loyal to anyone except himself. Did he rip any of his teammates or ex-teammates publicly, I don't think so, but he was a self-centered, egotistical smug guy. Though he did play his last pro game as a Laker, (only because he was sued by the Lakers when he tried to Player -Coach in the ABA), a majority of his highlight years were in Philadelphia. He never really did anything for the franchise after his playing days, so loyalty is somewhat out the window. As far as the honorable, I don't think the 20,000 women count in everyone's circle, though I am curious how many of those were bedded as a Laker.

So I'm left with the conclusion that the Lakers MUST retire Shaq's number, No matter how pathetic his most recent attempt to stay relevant or hype up a Christmas day game may be, he was a great champion for the franchise and provided many memories both good and bad while sporting the purple and gold. I think honoring Byron and Cooper before him would be pretty cool, but Nick van Exel, though a favorite of mine at one time, does not deserve that honor.

Mike t. thinks he's the smartest man alive.

http://www.tenientemike.org/

No one could possibly spend that much time writing and not really like to read their own words.

AK,

“The Maricopa County Police asks Shaq how their posterior tastes.”

You’re saying to Shaq exactly what I think everyone is going to say to him every time another shoe drops or he gets dunked on. I wouldn’t be surprised if the network sports announcers all have their one-liners polished and ready for the first time that Kobe or Andrew dunk on Shaq on Christmas day. Shaq has created a pop-culture phenomenon that is going to end up being used primarily to ridicule him as his career wanes. His smack is going to come back right in his face like a cliché. He can’t walk the talk.

Trust me, we are going to hear versions of Shaq’s rap tossed back at him over and over this season. If nothing else, it will be the ultimate justice to watch it happen and for Shaq to become even more of a laughing stock than he is. I mean, we’re just 1 week after the Finals and Shaq is already desperate for attention. And the mean and spiteful side of his personality is getting more and more dominant. Then to laugh it all off and say it was just freestyling and all in fun. Nothing serious intended. The dude is just losing it.

Shaq may also regret his remarks in more ways than just losing his sheriff’s badges as it is very possible that Commissioner Stern will fine and suspend Shaq for his bad behavior, which is really much more embarrassing for the NBA than a few players hip-hop jewelry. The imagery, racism, and language issues definitely are a public relations disaster and more serious than getting a DUI, which just cost Carmello a 2-game suspension.

I keep hearing all this bull on the air where people are saying Kobe must respond or lose his street cred. The Shaq defenders, starting with Stephen A. Smith and his ilk, are sadly siding with the Big Nothing and claiming that Kobe had it coming for snitching him out. What a joke. I am sure Kobe knows better than to lower himself down to Shaq’s level. A sad shake of the head and a neutral no comment will suffice.

Returning to your comments to me on the previous thread, I definitely don’t condone Kobe bringing up Shaq’s name when pressured but don’t equate what actually happened to Kobe outing or snitching on Shaq. However, I have lived long enough to know that words are cheap weapons that only hurt as much as you let them. In Shaq’s case, Kobe’s words obviously hit a sensitive nerve, most likely because of an element of truth. In Kobe’s case, Shaq’s words and dissing should be ignored as well as the source.

Tom

I think Kobes testimony about Shaq's involvement with some women was the main reason for his eventual divorce and a loss of very substantial amount of money in the process.
Would any of you have forgiven if your friend done the same to you ? NEVER !

Posted by: novolakers | June 23, 2008 at 06:08 PM


EXACTLY RIGHT. I TELL YOU WHAT, IF SOME FRIEND RATTED ME OUT, I WOULD BLAST HIM TOO! KOBE WAS THE DOWNFALL OF THAT MARRIAGE. THOSE STATEMENTS MADE SHAQ'S WIFE SCORN FOR A FEW YEARS.

AND AK, SHAME ON YOU. SHAQ WAS THE MAIN REASON AND I MEAN THE MAIN REASON FOR THOSE 3 STRAIGHT CHAMPIONSHIPS.

KOBE IS JUST LIKE PAUL PIERCE WAS BEFORE THIS YEAR WITH NO DOMINANT LOW POST PRESENCE.

AND UNTIL KOBE WIN A CHAMPIONSHIP ON HIS OWN, THERE WILL ALWAYS BE THIS ASTERISK BY HIS NAME WITH THE LETTER. S.H.A.Q.

AND THIS KOBE APOLOGISTS BANDWAGON TALKING ABOUT SHAQ JERSEY NOT HANGING IN THE RAFTERS. JERRY BUSS KNOWS #34 IS UP THERE WITH THE WILTS AND KAREEMS. DON'T GET IT TWISTED.

Isn't it ironic that Shaq's long term, well publicized and well liked relationship with law enforcement has now taken a serious blow because he mentioned KOBE BRYANT in such harsh terms. Kobe now has directly or indirectly been in involved in getting Shaq traded out of LA, his divorce and now his fallout with the Maricopa County Police.

SHAQ DOESN'T REALLY CARE WHAT OTHERS THINK. HE'S DOING LIKE ANY OLD MAN WOULD DO AT THE END OF THEIR CAREER WHEN THEY HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO PLAY FOR....

ENJOY YOURSELF!

AND ALL YOU HATERS, GUESS WHAT? #34 WILL BE RIGHT UP THERE IN THE RAFTERS BECAUSE TRULY HE'S THE ONLY REASON WE HAVE THOSE 3 STRAIGHT CHAMPIONSHIPS.

PAUL PIERCE WAS ALLOWED TO DO WHAT HE WANTED BECAUSE HE HAD GARNETT.

KOBE WAS ALLOWED TO DO WHAT HE WANTED BECAUSE HE HAD SHAQ.

NO DOMINANT LOW POST PRESENCE = NO RINGS.

HOPEFULLY BYNUM COMES BACK HEALTHY AND READY.

A c'mon Outlaw,

So many expressions that have no meaning sound so profound (until you think or have thought about them).

How dare you try to take that away from blog sage, Mike T!

"Kobe is not the media hound that Shaq is, plain and simple. "

Actually, it's because he doesn't have the personality to be a media darling. Shaq has personality. People like Shaq and consider him funny. The same can't be said about Kobe.

I bet if some NBA players said: Hey, lets go out and party tonight. Kobe wouldn't be invited.

Come on man, The guy has no personality. If he had any basketball intelligence he would have tried to keep Shaq in town for at least 2 more years.

Kobe has "suffered" plenty in terms of endorsments and media stuff and it's because he has a lot of intelligence or personality concerning these things. It's that he doesn't know how to handle these things. That's just a fact.

With Kobe's talent he should be somewhere near Tiger Woods in media relations. But he's nowhere near that and it's because of his personality and questionable judgment (Intelligence).

I followed Kobe's career from the time he came to the Lakers. I was sure he would be the next Michael Jordan from the start. What happened? The man has more basketball talent than Jordan. He should have been in Tiger Woods league in popularity. But what happened?

I'll tell you what happened. He lacks personality and intelligence to be in the company of Tiger Woods.

mike t.

Let me put it this way:

After all these years do you get the impression that Kobe Bryant is a friendly and sociable guy?

Be honest!

Hell no!

All of that is a sign of stupidity for someone who plays basketball at his level.

mike t.

BRING ON THE PHOENIX SUNS…

While the Los Angeles Lakers as a franchise don’t have a rivalry with the Phoenix Suns, two Lakers players – Andrew Bynum and Kobe Bryant – definitely have something of a grudge to settle with Suns center Shaquille O’Neal. It will interesting now that Shaq has stirred the pot to see how the Lakers two stars respond the first time we play the Suns.

It’s funny but I don’t think that Andrew has played against Shaq since that incident his rookie year. Can that be so? I do not remember it happening. At any rate, was there ever a more telling sequence of plays that revealed the true character of the players than when Andrew responded to being dunked on and knocked to the floor by Shaq by sprinting to the other end of the court, demanding the ball, and then juking and dunking on Shaq?

Drew’s response was the moment when most of us first knew we had a potentially great player with a championship competitive drive whereas Shaq’s response, to throw a punch and elbow at Drew coming back down court, showed him to be nothing more than a bully whose usual victims were suddenly growing up to be bigger and badder than him.

And every time that Drew or Pau or Lamar or Kobe throw one down on Shaq during that game, every Lakers fan watching will be saying “Shaq, How does our @ss taste?”

Tom

"Mike t. thinks he's the smartest man alive.


I don't think I'm the smartest man alive. I know I AM! LOL!

mike t.

Let me put it this way:

Why are people in the position of either loving or hating Kobe?

Tiger Woods has people analyzing his greatness. It's not a question of loving or hating Tiger. It's a question of how great is this guy.

If Kobe had personality or intelligence people would be trying to analyze his greatness instead of either loving or hating him.

mike t.

With Kobe Bryant's basketball talent he should have been transcending basketball and he should have been a mainstream icon.

Too bad you need personality and intelligence for something like that. If it was just about talent and determination Kobe would be all that. But he's not and there's a reason why he's not. HE'S STUPID AND IMMATURE FOR SOMEONE IN HIS POSITION.

mike t.

LAKERS VOR,

Wattup man. Actually it was because of the racial use in the freestyle. The sheriff doesn't care for 24 that much.

Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio said the Phoenix Suns center's use of a racially derogatory word and other foul language left him no choice. Arpaio made Shaq a special deputy in 2006 and promoted him to colonel of his largely ceremonial posse later that year.

"I want his two badges back," Arpaio told The Associated Press on Tuesday. "Because if any one of my deputies did something like this, they're fired. I don't condone this type of racial conduct."

http://tinyurl.com/64fgc7
http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=3459208

Best,

Bill Walker... I just want to see Walker dunk a few times in training camp before he goes to the DLeague...

All this stuff about Shaq... geez... but seriously, what does Kwame Brown think about Kobe? Does Kwame rap? Did Kobe ever acknowledge the thickness or the power of Kwame's calves? Was the cake really meant for Kobe's face, not some anonymous stranger?

Tim-4-Show
I think Shaq did all of us and the Lakers a favor. Motivation to embarass them on the court cannot get higher.

Colorado loves the Lakers!

LAKERTOM,
"Returning to your comments to me on the previous thread, I definitely don’t condone Kobe bringing up Shaq’s name when pressured but don’t equate what actually happened to Kobe outing or snitching on Shaq"

OBVIOUSLY, YOU DON'T HAVE MANY FRIENDS.

A STATEMENT LIKE THAT, I USE TO HAVE A FRIEND LIKE THAT. STAB YOU IN THE BACK TO TRY AND GET YOUR GIRL. WE'RE NOT FRIEND ANYMORE.

THERE'S A FIVE LETTER WORD FOR PEOPLE LIKE YOU AND I'M NOT GOING TO SAY IT BUT IT STARTS WITH A "B"

All I have to say is that Carmelo has some top-notch public relations people in his camp. The way they timed his DUI plea to happen while Shaq-fu is dominating the headlines is brilliant. As it is now, he barely gets any press at all about it.

Tiger Woods has people analyzing his greatness. It's not a question of loving or hating Tiger. It's a question of how great is this guy.

If Kobe had personality or intelligence people would be trying to analyze his greatness instead of either loving or hating him.

mike t.

Posted by: Michael C. Teniente | June 24, 2008 at 04:19 PM

THAT'S A GREAT STATEMENT. I UNDERSTAND EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN ON THIS. HOW ME AND YOU DON'T SEE EYE TO EYE ON KWAME, I RESPECT YOUR OPINION AND SEE WHERE KWAME COULD OF HELP IN THE FINALS DOWN IN THE LOW POST. BUT THAT STATEMENT WAS RIGHT ON THE MONEY.

I think Kobes testimony about Shaq's involvement with some women was the main reason for his eventual divorce and a loss of very substantial amount of money in the process.
Would any of you have forgiven if your friend done the same to you ? NEVER !

Posted by: novolakers | June 23, 2008 at 06:08 PM

Novolakers,

Yes that was some punk surreptitious shi!! that Kobe did. Yes he in a man code world should've caught a bad one. But look at how Shaq is behaving each time he leaves a team. punk shi!! too. Ironically, this was posted by a different Charles on the blog.

http://www.sportsmansdaily.com/shaqoffseason.html

 


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