A dilemma in the AK household
As you know, BK and I seek only good fortune for the Lakers, and for a variety of reasons. A winning squad's locker room is considerably more pleasant. When you spend enough time around the same players, especially guys that are pretty nice, it's only natural to wish them the best. There's also a selfish motivation, in that the Lakers' success often fuels this blog's success. But when it comes to rooting for the Lakers as a fan, that's strictly my territory. I was a big-time Laker enthusiast for a good dozen or so years before receiving a check to cover them. They're easily the team I care about most in sports. BK certainly never rooted against them, but he readily admits purple and gold success never meant much to him one way or the other until professional reasons entered the mix. He'd dig them winning a title, but I'd love it, which has made each postseason round an experience equal parts glee, anticipation, golden visions... and now nervousness. Not because their next draw is San Antonio, although I certainly respect the hell out of the fellas I'm predicting the Lakers will beat in seven hard-fought games. Instead, I'm concerned about off the court issues now presented.
My girlfriend, whom I live with, is a Spurs fan.
Before people start jumping all over her, the lady is from Texas (McAllen, about five hours south of SA), so she's not acting the turncoat, contrarian Angeleno. "L.A., love it or leave it!" speeches are unwarranted. She's attended games at the AT&T Center (back when it was the Alamodome, much less SBC) and her whole family's rooted them on since she was a little kid. Plus, to be fair, she's allowed to root for whomever she wants (unless it's the Knicks, Yankees or Raiders, in which case she'd need to find a new team or boyfriend). Up until now, it's also never presented any problems. Ever since we began dating in August 2006, we've watched many a Lakers-Spurs game, accepted whatever outcome with mutual grace and class, and I was genuinely happy for her when San Antonio won the title they're currently defending. But we've also never been pitted against each other in the playoffs, so we're jumping into some unexplored and potentially touchy waters.
On one hand, I think we have a very good relationship, neither of us hates the other's team (she actually likes the Lakers and cheers for them against anybody but San Antonio), and we're both adult enough to realize that in the grand scheme of life (ours together and in general), there are more important things than your squad winning a championship.
On the other hand, that's all very easy to say before Game 1's opening tip. What happens once the series is actually underway? We've already exchanged a few good spirited "You're going down!" emails, but those taunts could easily shift from "all in good fun" to "crossing the line" by Game 4 or so. Plus, our mood could be dictated by the series itself, which is likely to get chippy. What happens if Bruce Bowen gets all Edward Scissorhands on Kobe or Sasha Vujacic (one of her faves) continues to annoy the crap out of whoever he's defending? Will heated feelings carry from the court into our living room?
Plus, there's one more element that's got me worried. My lady is a wonderful, wonderful person, but to be blunt, she's also a very sore loser. Much more than I'll ever be. I doubt the Lakers eliminating the Spurs would upset her quite as much as my NFL team eliminating her all-time favorite club, the Dallas Cowboys (I'm already penciling in that theoretical day as the one we start divvying up furniture), but it will likely spark quite the sour reaction nonetheless. When (and I emphasize "when," not "if") the Lakers eventually advance, I pray it happens at Staples, which would put me out of our apartment. Being in her vicinity as we watch that happen in San Antonio on TV could be quite the "stink eye" affair.
Thus, I'm wondering if any of y'all have been down this road before, whether with the Lakers or another team. Have you ever found your team pitted against a significant other's? Is there a protocol involved to cheering opposing teams and maintaining a relationship? Do we lay down ground rules? Decide what smack talk is off limits or out of bounds? Focus any respective team "hatred" onto one opposing player (providing me the chance to channel all the negative feelings I've built up towards Ian Mahinmi). Concede certain truths -- Manu Ginobli flops like a jersey-clad Meryl Streep and Sasha does, too (although not nearly as much) -- before the mood gets oooo-glee. Perhaps watch road games in separate rooms, if not different zip codes? Agree to never discuss the Lakers and/or Spurs unless they're on the court (which, given my occupation, means she can't utter the phrase, "how was your day, honey?" between now and June 2nd*). Strike a deal where if the Lakers lose, she has to root for my alma mater (USC), or vice versa (Texas A&M), as consolation? Make sure to compliment how pretty she looks every time Kobe scores? Or do sportsmanship and concern for feelings simply go out the window come playoff time? We agree to give each other our best razzin', allow the loser a few days to sulk, then move on like adults? Assuming we're still on speaking terms, of course?
If anyone's got any tips, feel free to throw them my way. I'm very happy in this relationship and would prefer to keep the ball rolling. And at the risk of sounding dramatic, I'm (generously) estimating there are roughly seven women on the entire planet who could put up with me, and I've already dated and broken up with at least half of them. I really can't afford to allow anything, even the Lakers, brick things with a particularly special one.
AK
* - If necessary
What is she a fan of ? Boring Basketball? If your not with us your against us, The only way i would excuse this is if she is from San Anton. Otherwise she is sweet on someone on that team!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: RIZZO | May 21, 2008 at 03:48 PM
Andy, you don't have to dump anybody be like us like me and Charles belonging to another heritage. When there are confusion or crossroads in life and it is not a matter of life or death....all you have to do is say "Yes M'am" and everything is solved, then don't watch TV with her but go to the Times office until game is over or if it cannot be avoided, go to the garage tinker the car and watch your lakers on old TV or keep up with the game thread.
At the end of any game, there is no substitute for highlighting the valiant efforts of the Spurs while re-emphasizing the weakness of the Lakers, then no dilemma, no debate and no quarrels...everyone will sleep soundly.
Posted by: Edwin Gueco | May 21, 2008 at 03:49 PM
My wifes parents were happily married for almost 60 years.
They were both childhood sweethearts, but parted ways for a distant relationship while in college.
He went to UCLA
She went to USC
They both loved football and once a year had to deal with the game.
True love can deal with anything. Even a USC beat down of UCLA or a heartbreaking upset by UCLA.
She knew when to go to the kitchen to work on dinner, and he knew when it was a good time to take a nap.
They were always so good natured about the game. Mild teasing, light cheering, and never derogatory remarks.
I talked about this recently with my wife's mom and commented on the example they were, to all of us youngins.
She laughed and said, "we were only nice to each other because you were there." They had some real 'doozie' of fights in the past over the game.
So what's the moral of the story? Really none.
If its the 'real thing', it can endure anything, even a few Spurs/Lakers games.
Have fun. Just remember, the nicest thing about a good argument, is making up later.
Posted by: Fairweather Fatty | May 21, 2008 at 03:51 PM
To add furthermore...AK
Your life in limbo will last only for 2 weeks but the cherished relationship will last for a lifetime.
Posted by: Edwin Gueco | May 21, 2008 at 03:51 PM
AK,
Your girl is an Aggie? Gig em Ags!!! Whooooooooooop
Now back to reality, death to the Spurs :)
Posted by: kene_slow | May 21, 2008 at 03:57 PM
Been there done that AK and all I can say is don’t set any ground rules because in all likelihood they won’t be abided by anyway. You root for your team, (the right team that is) and let her root for hers and let the cards fall where they may. I have a friend who is an avid 49er fan (as am I) and when he was a teenager he dated a girl whose family were diehard Saints fans. They played twice a season back then as they were both in the NFC West, anyway long story short one season the Saints won a game and he was at her place. She danced and yelled at him and basically rubbed it in his face to the point that he actually pushed her and she fell backwards over the ataman that was in front of a chair in the living room onto the ground. He looked at her and walked out of her house and never talked to her again. Now I in no way condone such actions, especially since you seem to really like this girl and I am sure you don’t want to end up with a domestic violence change, but stand your ground and when we win tonight try not to gloat to much!!! GO LAKERS!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: James | May 21, 2008 at 03:58 PM
SHES A TROLLLLLLLLLLL!!!
Posted by: Fire32 | May 21, 2008 at 03:58 PM
GO SPURS!!! LET THE DYNASTY CONTINUE!!!!!
and...
Caliphilosopher-- Fun and Lubbock, Texas do not really belong in a sentence together, sorry.
Posted by: AK's Lady | May 21, 2008 at 03:59 PM
Wish you luck on your situation but all I care about is the great news on Andrew Bynum.
Posted by: Andrew'sMom | May 21, 2008 at 03:59 PM
"BACK TO BACK 5 CHIPS IN 9 YEARS"
Awesome! Just think...9 more years and y'all will have as many Rings & Banners as WE DO! KEEP HOPE ALIVE!
Posted by: utzworld - THE BANNER HOLDER | May 21, 2008 at 03:59 PM
Ex,
I think we all knew that Bynum was picking up sorority chicks and eating twinkies all day.
Posted by: Xodus | May 21, 2008 at 04:01 PM
What if Gasol had a Spurs girlfriend? Seriously!! It would mess things up. He'd want her to be happy and his shots would be a little off. Its like a betting ref. The subconscious decides the action.
But until then, all your thoughts and comments are compromised. I would tell her, "look I'm the man, say you love the Lakers or leave." Yeah that's exactly what I'd do to my woman. You do what you have to do and we'll read with caution.
No seriously, if you loved her you'd get a Spurs tattoo and change sides. Weak!!
: )
GOOOOooooOOOO LAKERS!! Make AK's girlfriend unhappy!!! DO IT!!!!
Posted by: JohnnyP | May 21, 2008 at 04:01 PM
In some weird way, this experience will actually help the the two of you grow closer together. Enjoy it in good fun.
This is all assuming the Lakers win the series. If they dont, she gots to go.
Posted by: Adam | May 21, 2008 at 04:02 PM
TimmyDtherealMVP,
"Lakers fans are dumb as heck u guys think yall will win it in 4? lol please"
Spoken with the true eloquence of a man with Down's Syndrome and a mouth filled with chewing tobacco.
TimmyDtherealMVP, you should really stick to inbreeding and avoid basketball analysis.
GO LAKERS!
Posted by: Jon K. | May 21, 2008 at 04:04 PM
She's from McAllen, huh? I spent some time in Alice and Beeville.
Posted by: Marty | May 21, 2008 at 04:04 PM
I see one of my replies didn't make it.
I didn't realize it was offensive, unless that very last line hit too close to home...........
Well, does she?
All the bloggers here should be informed if it is indeed the case.
Posted by: MiloRambaldi | May 21, 2008 at 04:07 PM
memory lane... this was posted on another website, I actually saw this team play, the 1974-5 Lakers:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/ericspiegelman/2509376047/sizes/l/
Posted by: TaosHum | May 21, 2008 at 04:08 PM
Dude,
At least your girl is into sports, specially bball and football. My lady hates sports and does not like it one bit when I watch them in the house or in her presence. You have it made buddy. When the Lakers beat the Spurs in 5, you really don't have to say anything to her, our Laker squad would have pretty much done all the talking. I recommend that the loser gets to Wash the car for a month, interior, exterior and the rims. I didn't know you were a fellow Trojan.....keep up the good work....Fight on!
Fern-class of 02
Posted by: Fern | May 21, 2008 at 04:10 PM
Talking about UCLA, lakers... Kareem has a new address:
http://kareemabduljabbar.com/blog
Posted by: Kareem | May 21, 2008 at 04:11 PM
Laker Truth with the slam down. I think he has the winning response - if we were to all vote.
GO LAKERS!!
Posted by: PsychedLakerGirl | May 21, 2008 at 04:17 PM
Okay AK...
What's wrong with this picture: You are currently LIVING WITH your girlfriend?
This may be the 21st Century and everything, but isn't nearly 2 years of dating enough time to decide whether or not you want to get hitched without living together, or "trying out" the co-habitation thing first? I assume she didn't just move in at the beginning of your relationship, right?
Is this just too Old-Fashioned? I can only hope that this whole topic doesn't generate any Bad Karma for our Lakers playoff run...
P & GR
Posted by: Purple & Gold Reign | May 21, 2008 at 04:19 PM
Down with BK, you're ok in my book AK.
As for Vujacic, everybody loves to like him or loves to hate him. He emotes a feeling from you one way or another.
Posted by: Bynumite | May 21, 2008 at 04:21 PM
Can we get a picture of your fair maiden?
-bozz-
Posted by: bozz | May 21, 2008 at 04:25 PM
Hey AK,
This is too funny. I know how you feel man. I'm not sure if you've rea any of my posts about the good ol' hubby before but my dilema is that he's a Shaq fan...period. No matter where Shaq goes, that's who he roots for.
He doesn't really dislike the Lakers, much like your girlfriend, but he roots for them only if they're not playing against a Shaq team. That frustrates the hell out of me. We've had several heated discussions about his rooting for Shaq, while I despise the huge, lazy bum.
Trust me, it works out just fine...you just get to make up more after the playoffs and you know what that means ;-)
Good luck...it's fun to have an opposing fan in your living room...you can talk all the smack you want as long as we're winning. :-)
Posted by: EastCoastJessie | May 21, 2008 at 04:25 PM
AK,
Only one way to handle this. The drop the babe line is weak. Work out a wager regarding the "special business" aspect of your relationship. Either way, someone is bound (errr.....no pun intended) to be happy....
Posted by: Dr. Ruth | May 21, 2008 at 04:28 PM
This warring houses thing didn't work out well for Romeo and Juliet, Andrew. A word to the wise.
Posted by: FatSam | May 21, 2008 at 04:38 PM
AK,
I have a few movies for you to watch:
Sleeping With The Enemy
The Hands That Rocks The Cradle
Behind Enemy Lines
Deception
Posted by: TwoThumbsDown | May 21, 2008 at 04:40 PM
FROM PALM BEACH, FLORIDA
THANKS GOD FOR THE WIN TONIGHT.
LOVE TO ALL
SHEKOBE
Posted by: SHEKOBE | May 21, 2008 at 04:42 PM
Off topic....I hope that Magic Johnson isn't in the TNT booth tonight....seems like a conflict of interest to me.
Posted by: bronxlakerfan | May 21, 2008 at 04:44 PM
I went out with this women and we hit it off pretty well. When I told her I was a Lakers fan it was a big deal because she is a big AI fan. I was like, "I'm an AI fan too," but that wasn't really good enough.
She kind of disappeared off the face of the map (pending legal issues and other weird stuff), but sometimes that's just how it goes.
Women are more emotional and more likely to be bitter. Accept that, deal with it, and hopefully it all works out.
From what you wrote, as long as your words and actions are consistent with your words, you'll be fine, as long as it's meant to be fine.
If not, well, it wasn't meant to be and you'll just have to find a new girlfriend via the Lakers blog.
Posted by: Benjamin | May 21, 2008 at 04:50 PM
AK, didn't you notice your past three threads which were laker related, nobody responded much, not even the success on bynum's surgery? When it comes to hot gossips about your GF, lots of responses, the bloggers you've got here loves Dear Abby stories...they can add their own tales including that guy from Northern Arizona.
Posted by: Edwin Gueco | May 21, 2008 at 04:52 PM
1. Hire a NBA ref.
2. Be careful, girls flop better than men do, and it´s imposible she gets a call from an offensive foul, there you´re screwed up.
3. You better make no more than 5 fouls or you´ll have to listen to the game on radio.
4. this is a bridge-step to achive step 5, if you mess up this step forget about it. WHEN Lakers win get teleported far enough so she won´t hear you screaming with righteous joy.
5. Show her who is going to be MVP tonight!!!! Parental Advisory +18 ( or is it 21 in U.S??)
Lakers in 5
By the way tonight I´m watching the game on T.V (Thank god I pay for Canal+) so I won´t be posting for major part of the game sooooooooo... Lakes!! Lakes!! Lakes!! Kobe!! Odom!! Gasol!! Fisher!! Radmanovic!! Walton!! Sasha!! Turiaf!! Farmar!! Mbenga!! and as a wishper in my ear rising louder and louder... Ariza!!
Go Lakes!
Posted by: HugoSpain | May 21, 2008 at 04:54 PM
Andrew,
Two words. Man up.
In short, if you're not a man about this and your Laker fanatacism, she won't respect you. If she doesn't respect you, she won't listen to you. If she won't listen to you, it's only a matter of time before she's out the door.
Now whilst I think that Charles' admonishment regarding the effective use of duct tape in negating this conflict might be a bit too extreme AND my earlier advice of "Dump her!" is still something worthy of consideration...
Don't cowtow down to her. You cover the Los Angeles Lakers, you live in Los Angeles, the game is in Los Angeles, she's in Los Angeles, and you the love the Lakers and they're in the Western Conference Finals after years of wandering aimlessly in the desert.
You have every right to be utterly enthusiastic about present events and if she can't handle that, then don't let the door hit her on the way out, because if she can't handle that AND she needs to be in charge of your personal expression despite the current situation AND the fact that she lives in Los Angeles, then she is just going to be a problem later down the line. If it's not this, then it'll be something else.
If she has the maturity to deal with you powerfully rooting for the Lakers to victory, then she's someone worth keeping. If not, she's not worth it.
Be a man. Women like men. They get tired of boys. Be a man.
GO LAKERS!
Posted by: Jon K. | May 21, 2008 at 04:54 PM
AK,
Don't stress...Girls are a dime a dozen.
Posted by: Eric M. | May 21, 2008 at 04:55 PM
It's an hour left 'til game time, and I'm so nervous about it that I could puke
Posted by: karyanr | May 21, 2008 at 05:03 PM
Maybe a bandwagon for this one? haha
Posted by: Tsiry | May 21, 2008 at 05:07 PM
I know that if my wife tried to pull any of that crap on me, I wouldn't stand for it. No sir!!
What's that dear? What am I doing on the computer when you thought I was washing the dishes? Oh, I was just logged on to the Shane Company web site checking some stuff out.
Posted by: exhelodrvr | May 21, 2008 at 05:10 PM
Rivalries are fun. Just treat it like a pick-up game.....whatever happens on the court stays on the court. Friends (or lovers) after.
If she wants to be a sore loser, don't rub it in. If its really bad, buy her some flowers or something. I've got a wife, so if you think I'm a softie, you guessed right. You gotta go to bed with that person everynight, why ruin either a good sleep, or a (ahem) post-game celebration? =D
Its not like rooting for the Lakers or Spurs makes anyone a bad person.
Rooting for the Celtics on the other hand.....
Posted by: #4 | May 21, 2008 at 05:12 PM
"When (and I emphasize "when," not "if") the Lakers eventually advance, I pray it happens at Staples, which would put me out of our apartment."
Hahaha!
AK, I love this blog so damn much, but let me just say, this was the best post. EVER.
Let me just say: You're very lucky that she generally supports the Lakers, and isn't a Laker-hater. It would be IMPOSSIBLE to live with a Laker-hater. D:
Posted by: Alena | May 21, 2008 at 05:20 PM
AK
Keep the job. Keep the girl.
Tonight marks the beginning of the end of the Spurs. You'll enjoy consoling her for years to come.
Posted by: | May 21, 2008 at 05:32 PM
AK
Worse than a Spurs fan is a
"Lakers? Is that basketball?".
Tonight I watch alone while American Idol crowns that rocker... but I get the BIG TV. Some things are non negotiable.
IF she's all that, it doesn't matter what jersey she's wearin' to bed. The blog talks a good game, but faced with that scenario, the boys in this band would cave.
Posted by: Vman | May 21, 2008 at 05:41 PM
McAllen, "five hours south of San Antonio?" A better description would be, "south of everything in the continental United States" ...
Posted by: rocketpsi | May 21, 2008 at 05:43 PM
AK's Lady -
Nothing fun at all in Lubbock? Damn.....I was hoping for at least a shred of hope. At the very least, I know of a bar where I can watch the game where smoking isn't allowed. You sure that there's nothing out here?
*sigh*
Posted by: Caliphilosopher | May 21, 2008 at 05:44 PM
In the early 80's, my wife was not a Laker fan. Worse than that, she didn't even like basketball or sports of any kind.( what was I thinking when I said I do?) No way I could watch the game on TV. She would just make it miserable. So I used to hop in my '63 VW Bug and drive around and listen to the game. She could not relate at all. Needless to say, we got a quick divorce.
My second wife, from Chicago, grew into a huge basketball and Laker fan.Laker basketball is a household tradition the whole family gets into.
Life is sweet! My point???You will either have to convert your girlfriend to Purple and Gold, or find someone who shares your passion for the Lakers. Like everything else, its so much better with two!!!
Posted by: spokanlakerfan | May 21, 2008 at 05:57 PM
Same exact dilemna here. Live in girlfriend of 6 years is also a TRUE die hard Spurs fan and was so before we met. We usually don't watch the games together (same house seperate rooms, lol) but this year we're giving it a try. During our first year together when Lakers took out Spurs in 6, (our last title win) I had my pictures I took of the Laker Championship banners when I flew (like every Nov. since 1996) to LA for a week and caught Laker home games at the Forum. I also took pics of them on opening night of the Staples Center regular season against Vancouver. She would turn them over so the pics wouldn't be seen, lol... silly stuff like that. Now we are seated together again to watch our teams go at it. May the best team win! And we know that will be the Lakers!!!! Lol....
Posted by: jhnlannery | May 21, 2008 at 06:00 PM
Wow, what can I say? Kobe Bryant is Kobe bryant... He used to be one of the best talents, now one of the best players of all time (Kenny)... Go Lakers, you certainly have one of the best defense in the basketball arena. You can beat the defending champs. We need to see new faces, not just the Spurs year in and year out for a couple of years now. It's not exciting to see anymore... There's gotta be a different group of champs this time... Go LAKERS, you can beat them!!!!
Posted by: Crissy | May 21, 2008 at 09:30 PM
AK, I feel for you man. I married a Celtics fan and she's rooting for a Lakers/Celtics match-up in the finals. Whenever she starts up with the whole "'80's era Celtics were the greatest" crap, I calmly remind her of two things: 1) The "Showtime" Lakers won more titles than the Bird-led Celtics, and 2) those Celtics teams had some of the fugliest dudes in the NBA.
But you know, I wouldn't trade my wife for anything in the world. Somehow, the love I get from her is more important to me than any game.
Posted by: dwallspaw | May 21, 2008 at 09:40 PM
AK,
The solution here is really pretty simple. It all comes down to two of the keys to any successful relationship:
1. Know thyself and thy partner. In this case, can you handle it if she razzes you if the Spurs are in control? Can she handle your razzing when the Lakers are in control?
2. Communicate. Reach an agreement on this together in advance. In my experience (in soccer, I'm an FC Barcelona supporter and the Mrs. is a Real Madrid supporter), it's best to agree to one extreme or the other: either anything goes... or full prohibition on the subject all together. It tends to get too complicated if you try to establish "compromise rules"... you end up getting on each other's case over the games... AND you argue over which rules were established... a bad scene, indeed.
Note to AK's chica (who I seem to recall is a Latina): ánimo, prima, que ya sabes que los Spurs no pueden con los todopoderosos LAKERS. Y cuando caen los tuyos, no lo pagues con Andrew... se ha "bajado los pantalones" delante de todo el Blog, buscando la forma de no perderte... si eso no es amor, dime tú qué es... ;-)
Posted by: David in Spain | May 22, 2008 at 02:05 AM
I realize I'm a little late to this game (not my fault this blog is updated a gazillion times a day now, jeez), but wouldn't your gf be more upset about you outing her as a "sore loser" on a public blog?!
Posted by: Emma | May 22, 2008 at 08:43 PM