A dilemma in the AK household
As you know, BK and I seek only good fortune for the Lakers, and for a variety of reasons. A winning squad's locker room is considerably more pleasant. When you spend enough time around the same players, especially guys that are pretty nice, it's only natural to wish them the best. There's also a selfish motivation, in that the Lakers' success often fuels this blog's success. But when it comes to rooting for the Lakers as a fan, that's strictly my territory. I was a big-time Laker enthusiast for a good dozen or so years before receiving a check to cover them. They're easily the team I care about most in sports. BK certainly never rooted against them, but he readily admits purple and gold success never meant much to him one way or the other until professional reasons entered the mix. He'd dig them winning a title, but I'd love it, which has made each postseason round an experience equal parts glee, anticipation, golden visions... and now nervousness. Not because their next draw is San Antonio, although I certainly respect the hell out of the fellas I'm predicting the Lakers will beat in seven hard-fought games. Instead, I'm concerned about off the court issues now presented.
My girlfriend, whom I live with, is a Spurs fan.
Before people start jumping all over her, the lady is from Texas (McAllen, about five hours south of SA), so she's not acting the turncoat, contrarian Angeleno. "L.A., love it or leave it!" speeches are unwarranted. She's attended games at the AT&T Center (back when it was the Alamodome, much less SBC) and her whole family's rooted them on since she was a little kid. Plus, to be fair, she's allowed to root for whomever she wants (unless it's the Knicks, Yankees or Raiders, in which case she'd need to find a new team or boyfriend). Up until now, it's also never presented any problems. Ever since we began dating in August 2006, we've watched many a Lakers-Spurs game, accepted whatever outcome with mutual grace and class, and I was genuinely happy for her when San Antonio won the title they're currently defending. But we've also never been pitted against each other in the playoffs, so we're jumping into some unexplored and potentially touchy waters.
On one hand, I think we have a very good relationship, neither of us hates the other's team (she actually likes the Lakers and cheers for them against anybody but San Antonio), and we're both adult enough to realize that in the grand scheme of life (ours together and in general), there are more important things than your squad winning a championship.
On the other hand, that's all very easy to say before Game 1's opening tip. What happens once the series is actually underway? We've already exchanged a few good spirited "You're going down!" emails, but those taunts could easily shift from "all in good fun" to "crossing the line" by Game 4 or so. Plus, our mood could be dictated by the series itself, which is likely to get chippy. What happens if Bruce Bowen gets all Edward Scissorhands on Kobe or Sasha Vujacic (one of her faves) continues to annoy the crap out of whoever he's defending? Will heated feelings carry from the court into our living room?
Plus, there's one more element that's got me worried. My lady is a wonderful, wonderful person, but to be blunt, she's also a very sore loser. Much more than I'll ever be. I doubt the Lakers eliminating the Spurs would upset her quite as much as my NFL team eliminating her all-time favorite club, the Dallas Cowboys (I'm already penciling in that theoretical day as the one we start divvying up furniture), but it will likely spark quite the sour reaction nonetheless. When (and I emphasize "when," not "if") the Lakers eventually advance, I pray it happens at Staples, which would put me out of our apartment. Being in her vicinity as we watch that happen in San Antonio on TV could be quite the "stink eye" affair.
Thus, I'm wondering if any of y'all have been down this road before, whether with the Lakers or another team. Have you ever found your team pitted against a significant other's? Is there a protocol involved to cheering opposing teams and maintaining a relationship? Do we lay down ground rules? Decide what smack talk is off limits or out of bounds? Focus any respective team "hatred" onto one opposing player (providing me the chance to channel all the negative feelings I've built up towards Ian Mahinmi). Concede certain truths -- Manu Ginobli flops like a jersey-clad Meryl Streep and Sasha does, too (although not nearly as much) -- before the mood gets oooo-glee. Perhaps watch road games in separate rooms, if not different zip codes? Agree to never discuss the Lakers and/or Spurs unless they're on the court (which, given my occupation, means she can't utter the phrase, "how was your day, honey?" between now and June 2nd*). Strike a deal where if the Lakers lose, she has to root for my alma mater (USC), or vice versa (Texas A&M), as consolation? Make sure to compliment how pretty she looks every time Kobe scores? Or do sportsmanship and concern for feelings simply go out the window come playoff time? We agree to give each other our best razzin', allow the loser a few days to sulk, then move on like adults? Assuming we're still on speaking terms, of course?
If anyone's got any tips, feel free to throw them my way. I'm very happy in this relationship and would prefer to keep the ball rolling. And at the risk of sounding dramatic, I'm (generously) estimating there are roughly seven women on the entire planet who could put up with me, and I've already dated and broken up with at least half of them. I really can't afford to allow anything, even the Lakers, brick things with a particularly special one.
AK
* - If necessary
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Two words...Be a man.
Posted by: lakers_sth | May 21, 2008 at 02:40 PM
HAHA!! She is a smart woman! Tell her that cello_the Spurs fan says that the city of San Antonio Loves her! Sorry man, us spurs fans are a loyal and tough crowd. IF the spurs do choke i give you permission to rub it in her face LOL! But still it's going to be............
SPURS in 7!
GO SPURS GO!!
Posted by: cello_the Spurs fan | May 21, 2008 at 02:41 PM
All is fair in love and war....
Posted by: never | May 21, 2008 at 02:45 PM
Winner does dishes for a month. Nuff said.
:o)
Posted by: utzworld - THE BANNER HOLDER | May 21, 2008 at 02:49 PM
OOPS...that should have read LOSER does dishes for a month. Nuff said.
Posted by: utzworld - THE BANNER HOLDER | May 21, 2008 at 02:49 PM
Hey, AK!
I'm no relationship expert but in any successful one, the most important thing is the give and take.
With that being said, whomever team wins or loses, at the end of the day the real winners should be the two of you (because being in a relationship is harder than it looks).
For the winner, never rub it in. For the loser, never take it out on your partner. And besides, there's always next year. Wouldn't you want something competitive and good (great?) go on each and every year?
I hope my two cents adds to your pocket full of change.
GO AK AND AK'S LADY!
GO LAKERS!!!
Posted by: Happy Gilmore | May 21, 2008 at 02:50 PM
AK -
You gotta dump her, man.
Millions of female Lakers fans, and you had to choose a Spurs fan?
What are you going to do when you have kids? How will you raise them? People will laugh when they hear that your kid is Half-Spur, Half-Laker!
...
You'll be fine. Just don't react quickly to any comments or actions post-game. Don't "escalate", even if you feel justified, and you think she's out of her mind.
Basically, take the abuse, weather the storm, and it will all be fine in a couple of hours. It's just a game, but only after tempers have settled.
Posted by: Amazing_Happens | May 21, 2008 at 02:52 PM
She's a Cowboys fan too? Sh...
No, nothing's off limits, have at it bro and best of luck.
-bozz-
Posted by: bozz | May 21, 2008 at 02:55 PM
I'm sorry AK. I don't know what thats like. I only date Laker girls. Thats Laker chick fans, not actual Laker Girls. haha
"Los Angeles Lakers center Andrew Bynum underwent successful arthroscopic surgery on his left knee today in New York, it was announced today by the team.
The procedure, which took 30 minutes and was performed by Dr. David Altchek, consisted of removing some cartilage debris and smoothing some rough spots on the underside of the kneecap.
Bynum is expected to make a full recovery by the start of training camp.
"
Posted by: ajax | May 21, 2008 at 02:55 PM
"My girlfriend, whom I live with, is a Spurs fan."
I literally recoiled with shock upon reading this line.
Andrew, I'm sorry to break this to you, I don't mean to be harsh, but I've just got to throw a little hard cold reality your way.
You've got to dump this girl. I don't care how hot she is.
Dump her.
GO LAKERS!
Posted by: Jon K. | May 21, 2008 at 02:56 PM
WHATS UP DOC?
As Bugs Bunny would say eeeeeeeeeeeeeeh GIRLFRIEND - SHMIRLFRIEND.. we are in playoffs, its a bloody war, and we don't care for any Spurs lovers ..SO DON'T come looking for sympathy..
Wascaly Wabbit,
Bugs Bunny
Posted by: Bugs Bunny | May 21, 2008 at 02:57 PM
What would Mom do?
Posted by: mel | May 21, 2008 at 02:59 PM
Andrew, if you don't have the guts to dump this girl (and suspect you don't), then it doesn't matter whether or not she doesn't talk to you for a month and withholds sex for six months.
This is the Western Conference Finals.
What the hell is she doing being a Spurs fan anyways? You guys live in Los Angeles.
You rub every Spurs mistake and Lakers success in her face! Time to be a man! She'll respect you more for it in the long run, anyways.
GO LAKERS!
Posted by: Jon K. | May 21, 2008 at 03:01 PM
I went to HS and college in SoCal. I now live in Texas. Having put up with Texan's love for 'Horns, Aggies, Cowboys and even Mavs for years now, I can discuss one salient point with authority: Home Court trumps.
In other words, you get a lot more leeway because she's the interloper in the land of Lakers fans. Heaven knows I have it bad the other way every Final Four, Bowl season or, most especially, NBA playoffs.
Exchange is you get it worse when visiting Texas.
Posted by: The D | May 21, 2008 at 03:03 PM
Break up with her for 2 weeks.
Plus its better to be sleeping on the couch when the Lakers win, at least you'll have gloating rights.
Posted by: Lakers Legacy | May 21, 2008 at 03:04 PM
Count yourself lucky. At least your lady likes B-ball. My wife HATES it, hates that I love it, gets pissy because I ignore her for hours at a time whenever Lakers play. What I wouldn't give, to have her root against my soon-to-be champions! The worst part: she expects me to be totally calm and composed within seconds after a tough playoff game ends. Those two "three's" that the Jazz got off in the closing seconds of game six? Yeah, the second one bounces off the rim..."okay, it's over, lights out, time for bed." Eff that. Give me a minute to wipe the sweat off my lip a couple hundred times, get by pulse back under two-hundred!
Posted by: karyanr | May 21, 2008 at 03:07 PM
Laker_STH
You mean 3...
Posted by: Charles | May 21, 2008 at 03:08 PM
For starters, make sure you glance away from the TV every time they show Eva Longoria.
You could donate your seat at the home games to someone from the blog and tell her you would rather spend the time with her. (For a fair method of choosing, pick a letter of the alphabet, "x" for example, and any bloggers with that letter in their posting name would get the ticket to one of the games.) That won't help with the Spurs - Lakers rivalry, but it will give you brownie points that can be cashed in when the Lakers win.
Posted by: exhelodrvr | May 21, 2008 at 03:09 PM
Dude... The Spurs wear Raider colors. I'm just sayin'.
utzworld, you may have been on to something in the first place. WINNER does the dishes. Very small price to pay for your team making it to the finals. Might take a little bit of the sting out of it.
Posted by: magicman | May 21, 2008 at 03:09 PM
I agree with never's one liner.
However, maybe you should offer an olive branch early. Get her a jersey of her favorite Spur or Cowboy and let her know in advance you'll probably shoot your mouth off at least once in this series, and that jersey is your apology in advance.
(Then get her acceptance in writing.)
By the way...does she read this blog???
Posted by: MiloRambaldi | May 21, 2008 at 03:10 PM
My older sister lived in McAllen for several years awhile back. Lots of figs.
Posted by: exhelodrvr | May 21, 2008 at 03:11 PM
Dear AK: Sounds like this is very serious - good for you. But relationships have their ups and downs and you need to continually communicate through these things. Good luck: Dr. Phil and Dear Abby.
On the other hand:
It's GO time. And I think you should handle things just like MVP handled the question about his feelings when he heard about the Spurs plane incident.
I also think EastcoastJessie needs to chime in on this one. She would have some good, serious Latina opinions on how to handle this one.
Lastly, I hope you have a "man" room to retreat to if things get really bad. At least you will still have a TV and a fridge. Aren't those man's best friends? Or bring her a puppy at the end of this that always works.
GO LAKERS!!
Posted by: PsychedLakerGirl | May 21, 2008 at 03:12 PM
I'm a pretty sore loser too. And believe me, I got it BAD every time the Blazers beat the Lakers this year. And, worse, everyone around me was gloating.
And you know what?
I got over it.
She will too.
Love your team, Andrew Kamenetzky. Enjoy the ride. Besides, the fact that you wrote this whole conflicted piece on the blog proves you are thinking about and considering her feelings. And you know what they say.
It's the thought that counts! haha
Posted by: Jesterguru | May 21, 2008 at 03:12 PM
AK, IF I KNOW YOUR GF ANY BETTER, I SAY EASYYYYYYYYYY GUNPOWDER AND ZIP IT WHEN THE SPURS WIN!
Daisy
Posted by: Daisy | May 21, 2008 at 03:13 PM
AK,
You go and live-blog from the Staples viewing and let your lady go watch in a honky-tonk bar (you do have at least one in LA, right?).
But you really need to ask yourself if "sore loser" is a quality you want to accept.
Is it just the Spurs? Or is she also a sore loser at pictionary, scrabble, thumb wrestling, and arguments? If the sore loser thing extends past the Spurs/Lakers thing I'd move on.
You need someone to take care of you, not throw a vase at your head. Women should be gentlewomen.
Posted by: mel | May 21, 2008 at 03:13 PM
One more thing:
"My girlfriend, whom I live with, is a Spurs fan."
This statement DOES refer to basketball, and not your......ahem......recreation, right?
Posted by: MiloRambaldi | May 21, 2008 at 03:13 PM
Had a girlfriend just like yours. Gets icky not for the loser but for the winner (who wants to gloat but has better sense). Best solution? Winner buys loser a gift after a game. SHE can sulk but never at the gift giver (who, of course, is smiling like the cat who ate the canary).
Posted by: p ang | May 21, 2008 at 03:15 PM
Hello Lakers fans sorry to burst your bubble but u guys will lose tonight Timmy D will destroy Gasol and we will win in 6 cuz we have way more experience
Posted by: TimmyDtherealMVP | May 21, 2008 at 03:17 PM
So apparently Bynum WAS faking it, and should have been playing for the last two months!! What a slacker!!
Posted by: exhelodrvr | May 21, 2008 at 03:17 PM
Andrew K,
Duct Tape.
Posted by: Charles | May 21, 2008 at 03:17 PM
AK
She will take your oxygen away in the dark...
Colorado loves the Lakers!
Posted by: Hugo Boss | May 21, 2008 at 03:18 PM
Lakers fans are dumb as heck u guys think yall will win it in 4? lol please
Posted by: TimmyDtherealMVP | May 21, 2008 at 03:18 PM
Lakers are finally in the WESTERN CONFERENCE FINALS, after three years of losing, and we're talking about this nonsense? This is not a game day topic.
Posted by: LAKER TRUTH | May 21, 2008 at 03:21 PM
AK-
You and I are in the same boat, only it's my fiance who is the Spurs fan. She's born and raised in San Antonio. We are getting married at the end of June so I feel your pain bro! But hopefully love will prevail...along with the Lakers!!
As far as tips go...I'm kinda thinking about watching the game in separate rooms.
GO LAKERS!!
Posted by: AZ LakerFan | May 21, 2008 at 03:22 PM
Man, some of you guys are really dramatic with the dump her thing. haha
Posted by: Xodus | May 21, 2008 at 03:25 PM
we are the team of the decade, a dinasty, one of the greatest teams of all time, we have the greatest forward of all time, the greatest european player of all time, the toughest most disciplined coach of all time, we will win... i repeat... WE WILL WIN
BACK TO BACK 5 CHIPS IN 9 YEARS
Posted by: timmyDtherealMVP | May 21, 2008 at 03:25 PM
My advice- Smack talk during games is allowed, but leave all off court stuff outside the house. Yes, this means she cannot ask you about your day. It's not that diffucult for her to find out if she really wants to.
I'd start begging your bosses to send you guys on the road again for this series. That way you can be out of the house! If not, go to a bar, seriously- stay away from each other through all elimination games.
Posted by: Jeff | May 21, 2008 at 03:25 PM
This blog is too fricken' funny!! Reading this every day can't help but put you in a good mood.
Can't wait for tonight.....go lakers!!!
Posted by: spokanlakerfan | May 21, 2008 at 03:25 PM
Hmmmm,
I was in AK's boat once. I was involved with a Notre Dame alum and because I didnt attend either UCLA or USC, growing up as a kid, I've always rooted for SC and Raider football, UCLA and Laker basketball. We watched the 05' ND/SC game together and towards the end of the game, once she thought the upset was on, she was all happy and perky and S-talking and just really being a complete Guy about it and I wont lie, I didnt show it, but I was CRUSHED !!! I assumed our winning streak and national championship game status was gone.. so then.. Jarrett makes the most fantastic reception EVER.. like I dunno 13-17 secs left... I jump up off the couch like I just won the lotto.. I'm laughing and doing the robot blah blah blah... I look at her... she's PISSED !!!
No.. I mean... REALLY REALLY P.O'd !!!! We score.. blah blah.. I was in heaven but my ummm ahem "manly" needs suffered for a week, even though she denied it.. I swear.. bottom line.. I ended up trading up for a "Girly Girl" that cares more about pumps and nail polish than sports and its worked out better for me.. I get my own MAN CAVE and she knows when I'm in there, I could careless which one of her annoying friends are over eating up my groceries and win or lose.. I still get cuddle time heh
Posted by: complex brotha | May 21, 2008 at 03:25 PM
My youngest son and one of my older brothers are anti-Laker. In fact my son is a Kobe hater. I have one simple rule...I don't watch the Lakers with anyone! My Laker fandom is so irrational that I can't handle being around other people when I'm watching them on the tube.
AK...if you can seperate your love of the Lakers from the professional aspect of blogging and reporting on them, which you do in a very unbiased manner, you can certainly keep your fandom from interfering with your love life. Two TV's in seperate rooms go a long way toward domestic harmony! LOL!!
Posted by: bronxlakerfan | May 21, 2008 at 03:25 PM
FROM PALM BEACH, FLORIDA
HI GUYS,
OUR STARS ARE CONTROLLING OUR DESTINY AND WE ARE ON THE RIGHT PATH= WIN#1
WHAT IT 'S A SUCH A BIG DEAL TO FACE THE SPURS FOR SOME OF YOU=LAKERS IN 6.
WE KNOW WE DESERVE ALL FOR THIS SEASON BY SHOWING OUR CONSISTENCY, OUR COURAGE AND OUR PASSION FOR THAT CHAMPIONSHIP MORE THAN OTHER TEAM IN THE PLAYOFF, SO IT'S NOT NECESSARY FOR DOUBTING OURSELVES NOW.
WE WILL BEAT THE SPURS AND GET THE NBA CHAMPIONSHIP PERIOD
TONIGHT, OUR TEAM WILL SHOW THE WORLD IT'S NOT A COINCIDENCE THAT THEY ARE AT THE FINAL. THEY HAVE THE BEST RECORD SO FAR AT THE PLAYOFF.
THE TEAM WILL FIGHT AND WE COUNT ON EVERY PLAYER TO GIVE HIS 100% PART. KOBE, PAUL AND SACHA WILL BE AMAZING FOR THAT SERIES.
GAME 1=WIN#1=CHECK!!!
ENJOY THE SHOW TONIGHT AND VIVA LAKERS FOREVER.
BISOUS TO OUR TEAM AND TO ALL
SEE YOU TONIGHT
SHEKOBE
Posted by: SHEKOBE | May 21, 2008 at 03:26 PM
Dang, new threads like a mug or maybe I'm just slow.
Posted by: Fire32 | May 21, 2008 at 03:29 PM
You play the part of a perfect gentleman -- ever the good sport; never a sore loser; always gracious in victory. Then you subvert it all by making sure your kids are raised as rabid Lakers fans.
Posted by: Sandibe | May 21, 2008 at 03:29 PM
Yeah Andrew,
You're gonna have to break it off. It was nice while it lasted but the relationship can’t continue. We can’t have Spurs agents in our camp. Be gentle. Buy her a shrimp cocktail and something fancy then be firm when packing up all her beloved Spurs gear. The oversized foam finger, the giant plush horseshoe bedspread that looks comfy but warms like the silken fibers of the black widow’s web, the Spurs coffee mugs...ect...ect. It all has to go.
My God Man, how long has this been going on? I assume she never told you of this sinisterly covert Spurs affiliation until the WCF seeding was complete. I can just imagine your horror to discover the one you love has hidden in her closet such a devastating abundance of villainy. I see it now: You return from the office after a stifling day blog related pressures only to find that the one you’ve loved hitherto unconditionally has met you at the door not in her/your trusty oversized Lakers Championship tee-shirt, but in the silver and black.
Uggg.
This may even bring on a curse or a slump or whatever. And you know what you'll have to wear if the Lakers go into a slump…
Gold Lemay…
Wes
Posted by: | May 21, 2008 at 03:34 PM
Goodluck AK, thats all I can say... You may need it.
Posted by: Gabe | May 21, 2008 at 03:36 PM
Being a lifelong Trojan who's dated a number of Bruin women (they've got to find a good man somewhere, right?), the bottom line is: Be the Man!
Talk crap to her non-stop about her sorry ass squad. Gloat every time the Lakers win or do something good. Appear completely unaffected whenever the spurs step up.
Stay dominant throughout the whole thing and she'll have nothing but respect for the Dominant Man she's with.
She may be pissed, but that's how sexual tension is built. The more you push it, the more she'll want you.
And after the Lakers win the series, give her a big hug, and tell her it was a good effort. Then make sure to tell her when AB17 is back next year, they spurs have a snowballs chance in hell of winning another title.
Posted by: htj | May 21, 2008 at 03:38 PM
She went to A&M? That's a college town that's even smaller than Lubbock! Crazy!
I think that if you're just rooting for your team while not making fun of the Spurs, then you should be ok. You should be conciliatory when the Spurs do something right (or well); but never get into the name calling thing.
This is how I survived when I was surrounded by Laker Haters/Golden State Kings fans during the Title years at a local pub in Berkeley.
Hope that helps!
P.S. - Tell her that I'm glad that she's out of College Station; also, ask her if she knows of anything fun and exciting to do (or people to know) out here in Lubbock. Being a philosophy grad student doesn't really lend itself to meeting people who are supremely social (especially during the summer!).
Posted by: Caliphilosopher | May 21, 2008 at 03:39 PM
Is it a bad sign o good sign? who has the magic in the Lakers uniform? is it Gasol or Fisher?
1. Remember, when the Lakers faced the Nuggets? The Nuggets team bus got burned in the highway. Lakers beat the Nuggets in the first round
2. Remember Kirilenko's visa problem? Lakers beat the Jazz
3. This time, the Spurs have problems with their airplane.
Posted by: Botsoy | May 21, 2008 at 03:40 PM
AK,
Make bets on the outcome of each game, like 'loser pays for dinner'. The winner gets to brag during the course of the dinner such as "hmmm, this food tastes really delicious. Why does it always taste better when it's free?"
Yeah yeah, i know, so she's a sore loser. However, the strength of a couple's relationship is founded on enjoying each other's company, and that includes being able to rib each other goodnaturedly without the other being offended or feeling stabbed in the back. I think that both of you are very mature individuals, such that she even roots for the Lakers on occasion. This series can actually be a test of how strong your feelings for each other are, and/or make you realize that there are better things in life that getting sore about losing.
Both of you can't win; one has to lose. That is a reality. It is not be the end of the world, nor should it result in the end of a relationship.
May the best team win, and may the winner gloat for a week LOL.
Good luck, man!
Posted by: Raymond42n | May 21, 2008 at 03:44 PM
AK,
Despite what others say, the girl's a keeper, as soon as you stated she is a Dallas Cowboy fan I knew that immediately.
I am a very sore loser...I am like Kobe...I hate losing and even when I smile after a loss I am seething inside but I have never been in a relationship where I and my significant other rooted for the same team...my ex is a Dolphin/Heat fan and I am a Laker/Cowboy fan and believe me we went at it to the core but it never changed the relationship...
however, I do remember going to a Heat/Laker game at the Miami Heat arena when Shaq first came to the Lakers and I was carrying on like a maniac at the game cause the Lakers were winning but we ended up losing in the final minute of the game...Sad to say, I was so pissed I didn't speak to him until the next day but we got over it and you will too!
Posted by: BocaLakerGurl | May 21, 2008 at 03:47 PM