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Extra! Extra! (3.14)

March 14, 2007 |  9:07 am

If voodoo dolls actually do work, then it's safe to say that the witch doctor holding a set of Laker figurines is continually pricking a pin in the ankle area.  Just as Luke Walton and Lamar Odom are set to make a return to action- the latter of whom possesses a spirit that impresses even T.J. Simers- Brian Cook becomes the latest Laker to catch ankle-itis (which may or may not be an actual disease).  While Cookie is expected to watch Thursday's game in street clothes, the sprain was considered moderate, so that's a plus.  Of course, the doctor (witch or otherwise) originally diagnosed Walton's sprain as "moderate", too.

There's no confirmation whether these witches in question happen to have medical degrees as well, but according to Phil Jackson, they're definitely on the hunt.  The Zen Master harshly criticized Stu Jackson and company over their habit of retroactively punishing Kobe Bryant.   And "elbow-gate" is indeed sparking a wide array of opinions.  Kyle Korver, whose face caught the receiving end of Kobe's last elbow in question, definitely wants to see #24 on the court.  Some find it absurd that Kobe's arms are being treated as the most dangerous weapon this side of a nuke.  Others feel Kobe needs to adjust, if for no other reason than his rep is getting hit harder than any recipient of the contact in question.  As for the notion that the fans missing the chance to see a suspended Kobe in person are the ones truly penalized, one writer considers that notion fairly condescending.

Curious about the purple and gold's spot in Cbssportsline's rankings?  We'll give you a hint.  Think "Jim Brown, Lee Marvin, Donald Sutherland." 

Even the K Brothers, with our absurdly high Q rating, aren't famous enough to make this list.