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Real Mambas are Deadly, but Don't Talk (Except in Adorable Animated Movies)

April 3, 2006 |  2:27 pm

Memo to Kobe Bryant (and his 14 T's):

The Pistons can afford to drop a game in Sheed's absence. The Lakers can't afford to lose jack. The Pistons are also deep enough to win a game without him. And yeah, the Lakers can indeed win without you, too. Unfortunately, the team's already played both its games against the Knicks. So a friendly reminder. Until April 19th, gotta keep that yap shut, no matter how pissed you are.

P.S. If you absolutely, positively must make your displeasure known, remember that Devin Green, Socks, Turiaf and Wafer are all rookies required to carry out your bidding. Come up with some kind of signal, and make them take turns screaming at the refs every time you're unhappy with a no-call. They may not phrase everything exactly to your liking, but verbal genius must occasionally be sacrificed for the good of the team.

AK


Comments (66)

Kwame did a great job yesterday. He did what he was asked to do. At the beginning of the season no one would have believed that he could do this. He is the only center we have now. He was sacrificed for the good of the team. To stop Yao, we needed to double team him, but our strategy was to stop the other guys. No open jumpers for Luther etc. Did you notice that Kwame was in the game only when Yao was in? As soon as Yao was rested, kwame was taken out to save energy and fouls for Yao.
Yao has had dominant performances since the all star break, and Kwame slowed him down, did not get into foul trouble, and wore Yao down in the second half, when the game was decided.
Kwame took one for the team and executed the game plam.
Go Lakers!!!
Go Bruins!!! Tonight is #12
Roky

I like the way Kobe shoved ball against the ref. He definitely deserved a technical for that. It was pretty disrespectful. It was like "here, you want the ball, take it little man." Not very cool, but it wasn't like he cursed him out or anything.

Funny stuff.

To Ceasar,

Who cares about ref and who cares about respecting refs. Refs think they know all but in reality..they dont know jack. If I were Kobe, I would have punched the ref nose and bleed him to death.

hahahahahhaah funny post.

Well, Shaq just stole Kobe's thunder. He just lashed out at the refs and Stu Jackson

http://msn.foxsports.com/nba/story/5469942

I wonder what kind of $$ penalty he will get. These guys are at a very high competitive level and they speak for their team. Still, I agree that Kobe should behave himself until we are in 6th. Rasheed has the luxury to be able to sit down 1 game, but not our Mamba.

You want to talk about Kobe getting ripped in the media, if he got 16 technicals and suspended a game down the stretch, and they lost, he would be crucified. To take it a step further, what if they missed the playoffs by a game and he was suspended and they lost? You put that with the two Utah games he was suspended for and Kobe would even get trashed in LA, by fans nonetheless.

All that said, i would be willing to bet my paycheck that he doesn't get 16 technicals (at least until a playoff spot is clinched).

I like the idea of signaling the rookies, but's let be honest, the refs aren't going to get anywhere near the bench warmers, so they'd never have a chance to rip into them.

I present that it's Phil's job to stand up for his superstar, and he's been sorely lacking in that department. There's been several of Kobe's T's where I think Phil should've stepped in and been the one to get the Tech - Phil (and the rest of the coaching staff) need to do a better job of protecting Kobe out there (and Lamar too), I think they've left both of them high n' dry on more than one occasion.

Roky, that's the funniest post I have read on this blog. Keep up the humor man, I enjoy it about as much as I enjoyed Yao's 33 points on 64% shooting to go with his 16 rebounds. And Yao requiring a double team, hell yeah, that definitely shows Kwame got the best of him. Next you'll probably talk about the profound impact Sasha has on the Lakers.

Good stuff Roky. Good stuff.

Kevin McK,

It's simply up to Devin, Ronny, Socks and Von to use their "outdoor voices" and make sure the refs hear them. Plus, Ronny can do one of his little dances while yelling. That ought to catch a ref's attention. And all 7'1" Bynum needs to do is lean in towards the court while bitching. Even if Socks is on the bench, with that length, he can reach a ref's ear no matter where the guy is.

AK


In all seriousness, it's very important for Kobe to keep his cool. Yes we are in 7th right now, but him getting suspended for a game could push us back to 8th, or keep us from getting 6th. I know the K brothers and others don't think it's possible, but I think we have a half way decent shot of getting the 6th spot. We have to keep winning, and Memphis has to lose to some bad teams, but I still think it's possible.

Nice post... except kobe didn't get the last T for talking...

Mannie,

True. But as somebody sits close to the action during home games, take my word for this: Kobe complains and bitches as much or more than anybody in the league. Therefore, he could have also gotten about 10 extra gabby T's this season.

The point wasn't to bag on Kobe. It was to reitierate that he needs to be careful. Any game he misses is more or less an automatic loss for the Lakers. They simply can't afford that down the stretch.

AK

OK AK, you're right, just some good elevated voice levels from the bench might be enough. Does anybody else on the team speak Italian? Maybe Kobe could do his cursing/complaining in Italian and then someone from the bench could secretly translate and yell the english version for the officials to hear. Of course they'd have to be discreet b/c if they figured out it was just a translation of Kobe, they'd probably still give him the T.

Maybe you're right, maybe hand signs are the way to go. I just worry about someone giving the signal to steal 2nd base by accident and we end up with Lamar sliding into the key during a fastbreak or something.

Kevin McK,

I think Sasha speaks Italian. And Turiaf speaks a bunch of languages. You may have an idea there.

Actually, Kobe should probably just complain all he wants, but do it entirely in Italian, with a very sing-songy, Roberto Bengini-like delivery. Like that Italian chef on "The Simpsons." You can't T up a guy who sounds that happy. He'd get to vent and the ref wouldn't even know what he was saying.

Brilliant!

AK

Sasha played in italy (i'm pretty sure) so he speaks italian. I agree it's a great idea to get them to talk back to the refs instead of him...my only thing is he's the captain and what happens when they're robbing LO, or Smush, or Kwame and he gets a tech, or there's like one of those stupid (I agree with Stu...most of the time those are questionable) double tech calls. Plus there's a fee when you get techs right? So maybe they can't or don't want to spend that kind of money...maybe Kobe needs to set up a pay for it system...lol. Of course all these are just me thinking out loud..lol ;-)

Faith,

LO is also a captain, so he can handle that stuff. And I have a feeling Kobe can spare the cash. Call me crazy, but it's a hunch.

AK

I love Kobe's intensity on the court. Perhaps, though, the reason Kobe isn't getting calls others do is the officials perceive this intensity as disrespectful to them. Officials need to be in charge. Not players or coaches. Agree or disagree, officials need to control the game. I'm of the opinion that great officiating is transparent. No tickytack fouls, no flamboyant calls. Let em play, call the real stuff. Problem is that officiating is subjective. By its very nature, that means that sometimes the subject calls attention to itself. If an official believes a player is the type that reaches in, then they'll be looking for it, and they'll find it. I'm not so upset that Kobe doesn't get calls every time he goes down the court. Lord knows he gets hacked nearly every time. Just be consistant on both ends of the court. Other than that, I don't have any solutions.

Actually, I'm surprised the push with the ball didn't get a fine, too. If he had instead pushed the official with his hand then he would have been suspended for a game or two. I would much rather see Kobe turn his frustration into aggressive play. This is what prompted 62 in 3q. He was smacked in the face, and he went off.

Unfortunately, in this case, wasn't he being called for an offensive foul? It has to pretty frustrating for a player to be hacked like he is when he drives the lane and not get a foul called. It has to be even more infuriating to get called for an offensive foul. The refs have forced Kobe into jump shots. We saw this again in the San Antonio game last Thursday. Kobe still needs to turn the frustration into Offense and Defense.

I wonder what the punishment a player would get for passing it hard to an official, instead of handing it off, or passing softly?

May Kobe find inner peace for the next few games.

--James

AK,

lol...can you imagine...they'd think he's like asking them for pizza later...when he's really saying screw you curse curse curse.

Roky,

If holding an opponent to 33 points on 64% shooting and 16 boards is "slowing someone down" and "did a great job" then I should look for a contract this season because I would have a decent shot of holding someone to those numbers. Yao is a hell of a player so I'l give Kwame some slack, but he was lit up.

Faith,

I'm telling ya, it's just crazy enough to work.

AK

According to Babelfish, it would sound something like this:

Kobe: "Che cosa? Come potete mancare quella chiamata? Lo ha colpito di destra qui sul mio braccio! Sul mio braccio!!"

Ref: "What did you say?"

Kobe: "Oh nothing, I was thinking about the big pasta dinner I'm going to have after the game."

Here's a question; Everyone is always complaining about the refs, but can anyone remember when someone came out and said "boy those refs did a heck of a job today" or "that was some awesome officiating! Did you see that travel call?!? WOW!"

And another thing, wouldn't being a ref in the NBA be just as bad as a dentist? I mean, even though you are doing a job that is necessary and ultimately is provides a good service, people inherently hate you.

Dick Bavetta needs a fan club.

On a serious note kobe need to be careful and not let the queens take our spot. lol. go florida!

Hopefully, the lakers organization will get these types of numbers from these guys next year:

Note: I'm expecting a 5th seeded Lakers team next year with a (46-36) Record
Improvements:
1. Kobe= 27-30points (Expect the points to lower and expect assists to go up) Assists around 5.5
2. Kwame= 10 points 6-7 rebounds...
3. Lamar= 15.5-17 points 9 rebs 4.7 assists. Expect the Assist to lower, and point production increase slightly
4. Mihm= Expecting his points to lower because of Kwame starting at Center next year. but should get
around 7-10 points per game. 5-7 rebounds
5. Smush= 12-13 points 3-4 assists 2.2 steals per game.

Attention! L.A. must acquire a true Starting Power Forward. Brian Cook is no Powerforward.
The Lakers organization needs to acquire a Carlos Boozer, Chris Wilcox-type player.
6. Role players: Walton, George, Cook, etc. score some points and play D.

i wonder how much money kobe has lost in the season due to technicals...must be a lot. anyways i think brown did slow down yao i mean that big body leaning on yao all game has to wear him out at some point, and in some ways it did, yao wasn't the same player in the second half as he was in the first...so good job kwame...

Go Lakers...

that last post was not mine...It sounded okay (I kinda agree)...but fraud is fraud.

AK, how bout an interview with an incognito ex ref about whether or not anyone he knew was ever influenced by a player's complaint? It's like asking a magician how he did that... no way.

It's got to be hard playing full tilt, come off some super human move without the foul called and then back off to a reasonable tone in discussing the last play with a guy that's been running the floor all night, making calls as well as he can, and getting booed and ridiculed every time he blows the whistle. Certain athletes can go McEnroe and get away with it, the NBA is not an arena where that works 'cause the ref can play the "eject" card and the game still goes on. Slide away, Mamba.

Kevin McK,

That rocked. Seriously people we're one day into a three day layoff and we're discussing how Kobe can cuss out the refs in Italian so as not to get T'd up. We need to hold it together.

Murph,
Funny indeed!!! Who won the game?
Roky

The Gators are playing on all cylinders. I honestly don't think they'll keep it up. down by 11 I think we'll come back.

mike

Kobe's been fined something like $20,000 already this year for his technicals. I believe that was the number I read.

Keven,
I would not expect Mihm's points to go down; I expect that they will have him start at center and Kwame and PF.

Keven you are so right about Brian Cook: He is no true Power Forward. Maybe it's bad luck that he is more of a shooting guard trapped in a Power Forward body. Who knows? I don't think we can acquire Boozer, we can through trade but there are some financial restrictions involved. Wilcox is gonna become a free agent this season so unless the Sonics resign him, he's a great possibilty. So our current options are Mihm or Kwame. Kwame has played great in the center position so I think we wanna keep him that way for a while. And since Mihm has a pretty descent jumper and can shoot free throws better than most big men, I think with defensive training and quickness, he can be a good Power Forward. He has the size, he just needs the defense and agility. Until he gets those two things, the best bet would be Wilcox.

Well how about this crap...Sports Illustrated has a "fan voting" opinion on who should be this year's MVP...Here are the choices you get to choose from:

Chauncy Billups
Lebron James
Steve Nash
Dwayne Wade
Dirk Nowitzki

Is it just me or is there a name missing there?

Brandon

I think it's missing Yao Ming.

it's sports illustrated...'nough said ;-)

Andrew Z.,
You are missing the point, At the beginning of this season everyone wanted to trade Kwame, now you expect him to be Ben Wallace. This is an expectations issue not Kwames play.
By the way Yao would have lit up Ben Wallace yesterday if he was playing him one on one. Yao has lit up every opponent since the all star break. He was making difficult shots outside of his comfort zone in the first half, many of which he missed in the second half due to fatigue. He only had 13 points in the second half compared to twenty in the first.
By not doubling Yao we were able to lock down the rest of the team and get an easy win.
Roky

AK,

Maybe you should tell Kobe that instead of "complaining and bitching" in English, he should do it in Italian.

I would rather see Kobe get that technical in last 2 games and missing the next game. Probebaly use that in game against Suns so Refs don't give unnecessary adv to suns. Team should play better without him. Though Guy gets 40 points for them, I think they can get that many without him too agaist low opponent. They just need to know that before playoffs.

that is not even funny. I can't believe they will not put ocho on that list. that just shows you hatred the rest of country has for the most dominating player today.

Brandon, I think beside ocho you also have to consider brand, parker, shaq, and odom.

Brandon,

Good catch - not sure how someone can explain this. I mean, didn't ESPN have a poll recently that concluded in Kobe getting the nod? And so, they just conveniently forgot to add him to the list so that they can avoid having to explain why Kobe didn't get the MVP :)
I'm not a big fan of conspiracy theories, but this here was too much to dismiss.

Brandon:

SI should have included Stephon Marbury as MVP candidate for drama.

AK:

Congratulations, you got your revenge against the Bruins. However, it could have added more candor if rivalry ends when the glory of our City is at stake.

Mike T.:

That was a fantastic run, we'll be back!!!

Go Lakers, this is an important week for a strong finish.

to Brandon-

KB was on the list of MVP candidates but was dropped by vote for lack of national support. People across the country simply view him as a selfish, sometimes spectacular, gunner.

The nationwide audience also views SoCal as a sports wasteland, with Lakers, Dodgers, and hockey teams who stink, Angels, USC, and UCLA who choke, and a huge metropolitan area unable to support pro football.

pretty lousy time to be a local sports fan.

I just cannot understand why the refs are bagging on Kobe.

Robert Horry argues with the refs way more than Kobe does, yet how many technical fouls does he have?

Rasheed Wallace constantly argues with the refs. His fouls are worthy.

Kobe only yells at a ref when he is actually fouled. Yet these refs never seem to get it.

So I guess Jon Kavulic has some explaining to do. I'm not a heavy college basketball fan, but it seems to me that the Bruins just got spanked out there. And then spat on. And then one of the Gators did a funky Prince-dance to taunt them to death.

Jon: don't get so angry next time when a guy "dares" root for a school other than UCLA. Though UCLA is in the same city as the Lakers, not all Laker fans must automatically support UCLA. With that kind of logic skills, I can see why you would run into some problems with the Russian mafia.

Gators: congratulations...and to that guy who fought for them on this blog, you're the man, fella! Awesome.

WATUP WATUP
BRANDON

SI has been there for a long time and THATS the ONLY reason why they're STILL there. those PICTURE before TV was there and a SPORTS magazine before ESPN. NOT because of their predictions or RIGHT choices. they had DENVER NO.2 and LAKERS NO.10 in their predictions before the SEASON so FrenchConnection(FCUK) SI.

EVEN if KOBE misses a GAME. which he WONT, way SMARTER than you(AK) think he is, we are making the PLAYOFFS. beating SACTO here(there) and getting the game in STARBUCKS town juss CLINCHED it for us. NOK has too HARD of an SCHEDULE.

LOL yeah right it's missing Yao.. and maybe shaq...LOL.. the pers can do what ever they want.. i'm just glad we had kobe in this lakers squad not one of them..

Let's see now. Billups, Nash, Wade, James and Nowitzski. S.I. might have added Yao, otherwise it seems like a pretty complete MVP candidate list.

 

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