A Job for the Mitch Haters
Okay, here's the deal. I'm not a Mitch Kupchek apologist. You'll never hear me say the guy is the best thing since sliced bread (or Jerry West). But this "Cupcake" thing? Not working for me. I'm not sure it's as biting or clever as intended (more like an 8th grade put down where someone then says, "Ooooooh, burn, sizzle, fry."). And by now, repetition has taken any wit and totally thrown it out the window. While I believe it's completely possible to slag on a guy while using his actual name, I also have an appreciation for comic name change as a form of satire. If that's your M.O., use it. But 11 games into the season, Cupcake has run its course. It's time to do better.
So for the anti-Mitch faction out there, here's the challenge: Find a new derogatory or mocking name for the Lakers GM. Something. Anything. Use Kupchek as your template, or don't. I believe in the creativity of the Lakers Blog family of readers. Just remember our rules- no cursing, no inappropriate sexual content (that's right, keep your dirty Mitchnames to yourself), and no slander/libel.
Then go to town. Extra points for being clever. Explain your name, if need be.
(Pro Mitchers? Feel free to chime in as well with positive monikers. This neither a condemnation nor commendation of Kupchek's work, merely an attempt to improve the quality of Lakers Blog banter. And if you guys dig Cupcake, than so be it.)
BK
BK the only way we will forgive Kupchak is "IF" we make the playoffs.
Posted by: Jack F | November 26, 2005 at 11:52 PM
How about Snitch Buttlick? Niche Sputnik? I'm not a Mitch hater, I acutally think he's making decisions that may help the Lakers with THEIR rebuilding plan. The guy doesnt just get hired as a LAKER GM and make a MIL making stupid decisions, he's doing SOMETHING right, even if we dont see it.
Posted by: Derek | November 26, 2005 at 11:59 PM
How about "puke heck".
Posted by: Revgen | November 27, 2005 at 12:09 AM
Not looking for forgiveness, just a more entertaining nickname for the anti-Mitch crowd to use.
It's all about the banter.
Posted by: Brian Kamenetzky | November 27, 2005 at 12:20 AM
Team Destroyer
Posted by: Jack F | November 27, 2005 at 12:29 AM
I think Kuppys done a great job. Scouting for the triangle isnt easy work. Not like you can just bring anybody into Phils offense. West didnt have to worry about that for 5 seasons. Mitch got 2 almost 3 championships. Now is his time to step it up in the old Jerry West fasion. Which he was modeled in. (14 Years under Jerry remember folks?)
Lakers will rule again!
Posted by: GMac | November 27, 2005 at 02:08 AM
Knicknames that ring true become over used. Because, it's the best way to describe MK as soft. Maybe you haven't noticed that the name Kupchek isn't easily parodied. Are we supposed to trademark our parodies so noone else can use it? And if you're implying that MK doesn't deserve a parody then shame on you. The whole "he's been hired and get's paid, so he must be OK" is weak.
Do we need to go into the whole Buss Method of Hiring?
I feel like my principal or my mother is scolding me for not being original enough. Can I get a hall pass?
Posted by: 1979 | November 27, 2005 at 04:55 AM
I wish the Softest GM in the League would get the players who want to play here. It can be done! Peja and KG! They want it. We want it. The soft one? Hello? Hey Softy. Take the Logo off your speed dial and stand on your own two feet. The Kings, Heat, Spurs, Rockets and ehem...Clippers made significant moves recently. What are we? Chopped Liver? As Leyton Hewitt would say, C'mon!
Posted by: 1979 | November 27, 2005 at 05:38 AM
How about Pillsbury Dough Boy? Sahara? Sandy? Kupple? Kipple? Softchek? Blank Chek? Lame Logo? Klueless? Klamhead? Bounced Chek? Sleepy? Chekmark? Kremechek? Kupple and Bits? Twinkie? Knockoff?
Posted by: 1979 | November 27, 2005 at 05:47 AM
Actually, Cupckae "works" for me and alot of other fans. In fact, the nickname has been around for a year or more. It was popularized by Dave Smith, the drive time sports talk radio host of 1540 The Ticket AM. He started referring to Mitch as Mitch "Cupcake" on account of Mitch's proclivity for drafting/acquiring "soft" players. Bullseye.
Posted by: Caspar | November 27, 2005 at 06:18 AM
Big Joe McDonnell used to refer to Mitch as "Asleep at-the-Switch" Mitch. He thought Mitch was sort of passive and missed out on a lot of deals that could have helped the Lakers -- for example, missing out on the opportunity to acquire Baron Davis, who the Lakers could have picked up for very little.
Posted by: Tree Beard | November 27, 2005 at 06:23 AM
I don't hate Mitch. Nobody does. By all accounts, he's a great guy. Problem is, he's incompetent. Just look at his draft picks, trade acquistions, free agent signings. He has no talent whatsoever for talent evaluation. Concerning the nickname, I think "Cupcake" is perfect. Pretty much sums up the man and his record.
Posted by: Teddy the swoosh Caples | November 27, 2005 at 06:49 AM
No doubt that Cupcake makes sense, and I see that it is polling well. Other excellent suggestions also tossed out there...
Posted by: Brian Kamenetzky | November 27, 2005 at 07:18 AM
The Loser from Long Island.
Posted by: Gridger | November 27, 2005 at 11:34 AM
Speaking of Dave Smith, he has a great nickname for Brian Cook. He calls Cook "Puppy Crap" because he's so soft (and because he stinks as a player). Just like the rest of Mitch's player acquisitions.
Posted by: Spreckles | November 27, 2005 at 11:42 AM
Mitch Krapcheck!
I'm not a Mitch hater though. I think it's been more Jerry Buss' fault lately. And saying Mitch has no talent evaluation? Smush Parker is a really good find. I thought we were going to start with Sasha at point guard.
If Jerry West found him, we would all be praising his genius. But we just say "oh. Mitch Cupcake *snicker* got lucky. Boy am I clever for calling him Cupcake. Haha. Cupcake." Jerry West missed out on Amare Stoudemire(and drafted Drew Gooden)! Also, at one point, he had the chance to get the number one pick in the 2003 draft(this was from an ESPN article). So basically, he missed out on the chance for Lebron James. Now if we consider West the best GM in the league, or near the top, then certainly, we can forgive Mitch for some of the "wrong" talent decisions he's made.
I think Kupchak's done fine. Nowadays, since talent is measured so much on potential, it requires a lot of guesswork. That's why a lot of decisions seem bone-headed.
Posted by: James Pak | November 27, 2005 at 11:53 AM
I think Mike Brown, or "Brownie" would work quite well. If the Lakers continue towards disaster, he can blame it on the city of L.A. or all of California for not giving him the tools he needs to be effective. He can join the real Mike Brown in his new consulting biz and partner up for Brownie Boys LLC.
For whoever said Mitch helped the Lakers win a couple championships. I seem to remember a guy named West bringing some guy named The Big Aristotle over and SETTING UP the team for success. Just goes to show that you can ride long coattails but sooner or later you need to wear your own suit.
Posted by: Maleke | November 27, 2005 at 01:18 PM
I like Mitch Crapcheck as well. Kobe's boy, you ain't no West, I'm just happy to be here also works for me. How ever nothing tops Vic The Brick's Paul DePendejo for the former Dodger GM (He was fired shortly after that)...Hmmmm maybe its time for the Brick to come up with one for Crapcheck!!
Posted by: Ray | November 27, 2005 at 03:14 PM
I think Cupcake is best of all.
Laker ticket holders should collectively demand Dr.Buss to remove cupcake from the office.
Posted by: Laker Fan | November 27, 2005 at 03:26 PM
Dave Smith doesn't know what he's talking about in regards to B. Cook.
B. Cook is the only player on the Lakers looking to take a charge. He's also the most consistant agressive offensive player other than Kobe. You won't see it in the stats since Phil usually keeps him as an energy catalyst coming off the bench.
"Puppy Crap" however, is a better definition for Sasha. He has no courage to drive the ball to the basket, and his defense is horrible.
Posted by: Revgen | November 27, 2005 at 04:11 PM
Mitch didn't FIND Smush. Rather, Smush selected the Lakers. Prior to the beginning of summer league play, Smush and his agent decided to hook on with the Lakers summer league entry, figuring Smush would have a great chance to make the Laker team, giving the lack of bonafide guards on the Laker roster. Smush had a great few months in the developmental league the previous year -- some said he was the best player in the league -- and any team would have been delighted to add him to its summer league team. Clearly, Mitch deserves NONE of the credit for picking up Smush. Smush picked the Lakers.
Posted by: Joe Fresca | November 27, 2005 at 05:46 PM
For years, Wes Unseld of the Washington Bullets (now the Washington Wizards) set the standard for incompetent general managers. He made one stupid move after another, running the Bullets into the ground. Lately, some observers have begun to refer to Cupcake as the Wes Unseld of the West Coast. Makes sense to me.
Posted by: Happy Elster | November 27, 2005 at 05:55 PM
The fact of the matter is that each and every year of Brownie Cupcake Kupchak's tenure the roster has deteriorated talent-wise. Gotten worse. He's either incompetent or unlucky or both. Bottom line, he's got to go.
Posted by: John Abdullah Smith | November 27, 2005 at 05:59 PM
last place GM!
Posted by: jojo | November 27, 2005 at 09:44 PM
Wow...I agree with John A Smith. Watching the game tonight, this roster gives us ZERO confidence of hitting ANY shot with anyone other than Kobe. Lamar, Smush...did you guys party last night? Lamar, nice work, buddy. 42 mins, 8 points. So much for that 20 point per game dream you had. Brian Cook started and was the ONLY other Laker to get into double digets. At least he crashed the boards.
Nice work Brownie Cupcake. BTW, Mike Brown was the PhD that was in charge of FEMA during Katrina for those that didn't get it. Not to even begin to compare these two disasters, but both have done an incompetent job in dire straits. In the good old days, there was a feeling of come-back possibility. Now, there is a feeling of desparation and hope if we are behind. 5-7 has me thinking, how did we ever win 5?!?
Play Bynum more!! He may be young, but hell, he WANTS it more than the others. Mihm seems to have 'call a foul because I always reach' written on his back. Bynum has nice hands, pounds the boards, WHICH WE NEED FROM A BIG MAN!! I don't care if he is 18 - I like Mihm, but at least Bynum goes up strong and doesn't always try the same little hook shot. The only offensive rebounds we seem to get are if they bounce out of the paint.
I was very, VERY, disgusted at tonight's game against the Nets. This Laker team seemed satisfied at getting into overtime rather than winning. Kobe can't have half the points every night, especially against a GOOD team.
Ridiculous. Absolutely patethic. I'm glad I didn't waste my money going to that game. Good job, Brownie. Quit now and go to Toronto. They need you.
Posted by: Maleke | November 27, 2005 at 09:56 PM
Realitychek. As in "He really could us a Realitychek." His choices in clearing out caproom for a franchise saving max level player or the perfect menagerie of complimentary talent, the gambles taken with the trades of Shaq and Gary Payton/Rick Fox and Caron/Chucky, and the awesome draft picks paint me the picture a man who does not reside in this world. Space Cadet Kupchek could work too.
Posted by: the sockk | November 28, 2005 at 06:29 AM
There's a great article on all this at http://lakers.topbuzz.com. But the truth of the matter is, after a dismal end to last season, Mitch's great free agent signing to bring the team back was Aaron McKie. ENOUGH SAID!
Posted by: Da | November 29, 2005 at 09:32 AM
People who are haters are losers.
Never lose faith in your team and Mitch is part of our team.
The season has just begun and the haters are already ready to crucify him. What the hell? We've got injuries. We've got a new system. We've got young, inexperienced players.
We also have Kobe Bryant and Lamar Odom, two of the best players in basketball, and Phil Jackson the greatest professional coach in the history of the game (I don't want to offend the saintly John Wooden with a direct comparison).
We also have a young season. Do you honestly believe that Phil and Kobe are going to let our team stay in last place? Never!
Haters, have faith! You can't truly love your team when you are distracted by your obsession with adversity. Adversity only makes a true victor stronger and it will make this team stronger.
Mitch is a Laker and a true fan will never hate a Laker.
Love your team. That's the duty of a fan.
Posted by: Jon Kavulic | November 29, 2005 at 03:01 PM
re: nickname -
How about upchuck?
Posted by: MP | November 29, 2005 at 03:21 PM
Mitch hasn't done a thing since jerry west left. The only way Mitch should be allowed to keep his job is if he pulls of a trade for Garnett..and only then will he have my respect. I don't know how in the world every team in the league found a way to revamp their entire roster except the lakers. And yet all we hear is mitch referring to 2008 when Lebron James is available. Now you tell me...what kinda fool does it take to think lebron will ever be sporting a purple and gold jersey along side Kobe? A big fool!! Mitch needs to get his head out the clouds and learn how to find talent because Slava..Chris Mihm...Sasha, aren't going to cut it. Kevin Garnett or retire!!
Posted by: lknight | November 29, 2005 at 05:07 PM
Bitch Kupchak
>_<
Posted by: dan the man >_< aka smushcalade | September 02, 2006 at 06:11 PM
how bout dumbest GM in Laker history? or just dumbass?
Posted by: brian Michaels | April 10, 2007 at 01:13 AM